I really love this post.

welcome to the machine.

CXXII

Ladies and gentlemen, what is love?

• Love is a device invented by bank managers to make us overdrawn.
• Love is in the air.
• Love is a product of neuro-chemical reactions.
• Love is louder.
• Love is irrational, natural, and very important.
• Love is a drug.
• Love is like quicksilver in the hand.
• Love is friendship set on fire.
• Love is everything it's cracked up to be.
• Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
• Love is here.
• Love is sorely missing in a lot of lives.
• Love is not numerical.
• Love is.

Wow. That list was incredibly short, and full of love. Lovely! I love this randomness I go through, but sadly I must be less random from here on in, as the Curryland government has put a tax on randomness. I am poor. And loving. So I'd love to be random, but the government's love of money is, erm, ridiculous.

So what is happiness?

• Happiness is a state of well-being, characterised by emotions.
• Happiness is a rare commodity.
• Happiness is a product of neuro-chemical reactions.
• Happiness is something everyone wants to have.
• Happiness is a state of non-contradictory joy.
• Happiness is not numerical.
• Happiness is a drug.
• Happiness is a warm gun.
• Happiness is having no essays due for three weeks.
• Happiness is fine, but it's momentary.
• Happiness is all the little things that make life awesome.
• Happiness is here.
• Happiness is catching a firefly, and setting him free.
• Happiness is irrational, natural, and very important.
• Happiness is.

I am happy too! Happier than I've been in a long time, for I've had four epic nights out of four and those four nights have been all in a row. Four happy nights! I'd love to keep being happy, but again, the Curryland government has put a tax on the amount of exclamation marks I use. So I can't use any more in this post.

So what is comfort?

• Comfort is overrated.
• Comfort is one of those words we all like.
• Comfort is the death knell of academia.
• Comfort is rarely rewarded.
• Comfort is a product of neuro-chemical reactions.
• Comfort is priceless.
• Comfort is always there.
• Comfort is knowing nothing.
• Comfort is the enemy of greatness.
• Comfort is here.
• Comfort is a drug.
• Comfort is not numerical.
• Comfort is a warm couch on a frosty morning.
• Comfort is.

One more, I think, and then I'm gonna scoot. For now.

So what is π?

• π is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049951...

I shall return.

Johnny cakes? What the hell are Johnny cakes?

enter the abyss.

CXXI

Welcome back. I've missed you. And surely you've missed me too. Biscuit.

There will be some of you who are new readers. Normally at the start of a new season I give a short spiel about who I am and what I do. But instead of that, I'm gonna tell you my life story.

So. I was born on a boat (motherfucker) off the coast of Switzerland in 1932. My parents emigrated to Curryland a week after that, and I followed then a week after that. My evil identical twin brother emigrated to France in 1964, and decided he liked it so much that he stayed. We had one cat.

Growing up in the streets of Curryland was not much different to growing up in the streets of Antarctica. I had friends, but they decided to emigrate to Atlantis. At age 23, I moved away from my parents' house to the one next door, which happened to be right on the border. Biscuit. So, half the time I was in Curryland, the other half, Currytopia. Living there was pretty good, as long as I avoided the occasional terrifying border skirmish.

When I started forging my media career at age 104, my four-year unpaid internship meant that I had to learn to survive on nothing but Pringles. I did, however, learn a bit of salty language as a result. Near the end of the fourth year, I walked back home, ducked under the crossfire of a border skirmish, ate some Pringles, scratched my pooch behind the ears. It was at that point in my life that I had the most profound thought ever.

As a result, my media career skyrocketed (at age 55), I started writing my own blogshow (The CJ Curry Experience, of course), and began raking in the dough (and as a result, I've never been able to get the flour stains out of my clothes. Or my rake). I am now a semi-successful entrepreneur, but I still can't believe that there's no French word for entrepreneur. I have one cat.

Also, I'm 211 years old. Biscuit.

I endeavour to do the same shit I've been doing for the last three years, in blog format. Which is... I forget.

Incidentally, if you see a helicopter screaming over your head right now, it means I have selected you for the CJ Curry Prize. Congratulations! You are the Curryland Citizen Of The Decade and have been awarded one thousand CJ-points. Which, as it happens, is the exact cost of the letter you need to mail in to me in order to register for the prize. Camels are ineligible, as are quokkas.

Your death will be exquisite, and I will see you again soon.

Biscuit. DAMMIT BISCUIT, STOP CHASING THAT BIRD AND COME AND GET YOUR SUPPER.

I have RSS now. RSS is cool.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 120

"LAST ONE ASLEEP, KILL THE LIGHTS AND MUSIC"

And so, we come to another season finale. Albeit a rushed one, so I'm just going to finish it here and be done with it.

No I'm not, because I've already pulled that trick on you all before. So I guess I'll finish by letting you know that I'm finishing for the season and for the year and that I'll be back in January or February or one of those ridiculously obscure months and have a seventh season and remind you that I'm only going to last ten seasons - that is, 200 episodes - before I give up and shut up and look at my other project, it's nearly done and I'm going to go to bed soon but before I do there are a few special mentions that I need to make about people. I will not mention names but I shall mention initials and you will know who you are, and if you have to ask, then you don't know who you are and you aren't on the list.

• NL - for obvious reasons
• AM, KH, SF, EC, MG, RB, RB, HT, TF, MR - for semi-obvious reasons
• PF, BT, TB, LJ - for being IT-worthy
• LB, KH, JF - for being unofficially IT-worthy (I shall indoctrinate you all eventually)
• CM, EA - for being decent flatmates
• CM - for being a decent flatmate-in-training
• MT, MM, SM - for being kickass after the unthinkable happened
• JY, JM, PF, LJ, AF, MW, GP, GB, KW, JS - for being an awesome team
• GP, LM, AO, LR, SF, FS, WD, KV, SM, LB, JT, EP, SM, JT, LG - for being an awesome team-in-training
• MG, AM, JF, HT, ND, TB, TT, SB, AC, RF - for being amazing upstairs neighbours
• TB, DH, LM, DM, SM - for behind-the-scenes support
• AG, MG, NL, LV, SM, DK, EC, RB, KW, NC, DB - for Isidore
• TF - for the games of pool and Scrabble-on-Facebook that were inevitably closer than I initially thought
• AF - for reminding me what it is to be CJ Curry
• finally: CJ - for being CJ.

If you're not on the list and think you deserve to be, give me a yell. I may go deaf in the process, but I'll consider including you. If you have appeared twice or more, congratulations! You are Epic™.

See you next year!

It was all to stay awake for the longest.

• THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 100 + 19

"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, THE END OF THE WORLD, THE... AH, FORGET IT"

Gasp. Nearly done for the season and the year. So. So so so. What to talk about next... Um...

Um...

stuff?

Um...

I just wanna bump? >.<

Um...

you're kinda cute? Whoever you are, reading this, you're cute. Yeah. That'll do.

Um... no, screw it, I'm not "um"ing the whole post. I'm actually going to do something decent here.

Remember how I said back in episode 37 that they seek me with thimbles? It's the truth. They also really did threaten my life with a railway-share. But I'm still alive and I have driven to the Rat and it annoys me so I shall shut up and carry on.

Have another quick recap, in song format.

• We Can't Fly - Aeroplane
• Time To Wander - Gypsy & The Cat
• A Community Service Announcement - Jonathan Boulet
• Holidays - Miami Horror ft. Alan Palamo
• Lovers' Carvings - Bibio
• The Beach - Superimposers
• Misread - Kings Of Convenience
• Reckless With Your Love (Tensnake rmx) - Azari & III
• Smells Like Content - The Books
• Knight Moves - Chilly Gonzales
• Coma Cat - Tensnake
• Rock It (Dublin Aunts rmx) - Little Red
• Dancing On My Own (Fred Falke rmx) - Robyn
• Amanæmonesia - Chairlift
• Street - Jamie Woon
• Knights - Crystal Castles
• Look Inside (Izmabad rmx) - 4Hero ft. FACE
• Odessa - Caribou
• Turns Me On - Big Boi ft. Sleepy Brown & Joi
• Swoon - The Chemical Brothers
• Midnight City - M83
• I Wrote The Book - Simian Mobile Disco ft. Beth Ditto
• Cooler Couleur - Crookers ft. Yelle
• Eskimo Boy - Strange Talk
• Contact High - Architecture In Helsinki
• Arpeggio - Jackson And His Computer Band
• King Of The Stars (Pablo Calamari rmx) - Dr. Don-Don
• Foreign Language - Flight Facilities ft. Jess Higgs
• Embody - SebastiAn
• Hits Me Like A Rock - CSS
• Niton - Eric Prydz
• Lights On - Katy B ft. Ms Dynamite
• Eyes Be Closed - Washed Out
• Zimbabwe - New Navy
• Ain't Waiting - Talib Kweli ft. Outasight
• Solitude Is Bliss - Tame Impala
• Blitz - Digitalism
• Take Me Over - Cut Copy
• Ill Behaviour - Danny Byrd ft. I-Kay
• Stereo Love - Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina
• The Call - Raized By Wolves ft. Tom Smith
• Paradise - Sam La More
• The Face Of The Planet - The Subs
• Electric Lady - Tesla Boy
• Together (Super Mal rmx) - Those Usual Suspects
• We Run The Nite - Tonite Only
• Need You Now - Cut Copy
• Summersun - Miami Horror
• After Hours - Ronny Jordan
• Le Bump - Yolanda Be Cool ft. Crystal Waters
• Knights - Crystal Castles
• Treehouse - Gold Fields
• Gabriel - Joe Goddard ft. Valentina
• Destroy Everything You Touch - Ladytron
• Boom - Lo-Fi-Fnk
• The Night Last Night - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Rose Elinor Dougall & Andrew Wyatt
• Alors On Danse - Stromæ
• We.Are - Who.Is
• Illmerica - Wolfgang Gartner
• Start Again - The Aston Shuffle ft. Lovers Electric
• Stay Awake - Example
• Jona Vark - Gypsy & The Cat
• An Argument With Myself - Jens Lekman
• The Truth - Pnau
• Still Sound - Toro Y Moi
• The Bike Song - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Kyle Falconer & Spank Rock
• Beautiful Strange - Bedrock
• Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Q-Tip & MNDR
• High Together - Siriusmo
• Fuck Friend (CSS rmx) - Bitchee Bitchee Ya Ya Ya
• Animal Rights - deadmau5 & Wolfgang Gartner
• Runaway - Mason
• The Phoenix Alive - Monarchy
• Targa - Russ Chimes
• Kissed By The Sun (Sidechain rmx) - San ft. Therese
• Something Good Can Work (Twelves rmx) - Two Door Cinema Club
• Freefallin' (Denzal Park rmx) - Zoë Badwi
• Kiss My Trance - The Subs
• BRRRAT! - Armand Van Helden & Steve Aoki
• Babylon - Congorock
• Paper Romance - Groove Armada

That's about it. You lot have heard enough of my crap anyway. Be sure to join me -- I mean, US -- for the season finale, which shall happen before Tuesday.

Play by the rules!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE (six seasons minus two)

"STAND STILL, AND BE SWATTED!"

Recapping number two. I like number two. So I will recap it.

1. JANUARY. I had fun. I stayed at college and made myself comfortable in the flat. I enjoyed the company of some fun people and had some pretty fun times, especially when I played the crickets. I watched the crickets as well, was introduced to the hot tub and saw Ratatat. Finally, I got some work two weeks in a row. I loved it.
2. FEBRUARY. I had fun. Training, O Week prep, then finally O Week. The greatest week of the year. And I got to run some of the events, and learn some lessons about how I should run them next year, and oh my gods I had such a fun week. Oh, and thanks to the kids in red.
3. MARCH. I had fun as classes started. I also bought my new BEAST OF A COMPUTER. In case you're wondering, no, it doesn't have a name. If I wanted to name it I'd probably name it something cool. But I don't. So I won't.
4. APRIL. I had fun, though nothing special happened - normal boring uni stuff - until the end of the month, when I put my feet on Tasmanian soil for the first time. It took me over 21 years to visit this beautiful island. Thanks hugely to Nicole for taking me along! This now means I've visited every state and mainland territory of Australia, save Jervis Bay. But I doubt I'll ever get there. I've also never been to Brisbane. Close, though.
5. MAY. I had fun asking "May I have a cookie please?" May was the month of Masterchef Season 1, and the Suitcase Ball. It was also assignment season and that was the kicker for me. But I survived, somehow, and I even got in a bit of time to go see Cut Copy with Lucas and Tom. Winning!
6. JUNE. I had fun during exam season. In among it all, I managed to get StarCraft II and watch Mike get waxed. I had a scribble party (YAY), my first time running Swotvac events (YAY) and I somehow managed to fit in a party at Mia's in all that.
7. JULY. Not fun. My wisdom teeth. Isidore. Re-O-Week. Enough said.
8. AUGUST. I had fun. It was a fairly busy month, as it always is in august months, as Open Day, Gala Dinner and Co-Ordinator applications came and went and flew by and saw me becoming awesome again for next year. I enjoyed it. And the Census.
9. SEPTEMBER. I had some fun, but not all of it. The unthinkable happened. It's more thinkable now, in retrospect. So I spent the rest of the month trying to get my head around the unthinkable. A trip to the Great Ocean Road and the college play kinda helped. A little. We're off to see the geezer...
10. OCTOBER. I had fun, but what a busy month. Assignment season again, plus the zombie shuffle, coupled with training, added on to the college ball, combined with a lasertag session, this was a hella busy month. Seriously.
11. NOVEMBER. I've had fun. It's been fairly laid back. I've met a new awesome friend and gotten closer to some other awesome people that I knew already but never got a huge chance to get close to. So to speak. It's exam season but I finish early and that means I get to have some fun. Yay!
12. DECEMBER. Sorry, that's a secret. I'll have fun, though.