August 26, 2013

It always starts the same. Nearly.

EPISODE 185: OLIVES!

So, let me fill you in on a bit of outside world information. News level: Ron Burgundy.

We start with a one-metre radius of my current sitting position. The news is: my packet of peanuts is nearly half-empty. But it's still more than half full. AND I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT GOD DAMN CHEESEBURGER!

We extend to 10 metres. My clock is still working.

Now, 100 metres. There's roadworks happening and there's expected to be delays for about four months, one of which is practically over.

Now, 1,000 metres. I think the trams are back up and running on Route 86.

Now, 10,000 metres. Open Day was a success! Yet again, I sacrificed my leggies for the cause of bringing le students to le campus and touring them around and making new friends and being energetic and catgrooving and making people be impressed and... I wanna stay at uni, because Open Days and tours and move-in days make me tick.

Now, 100,000 metres. A guy I know made an app (with a few other guys, natch) - check it out. iOS compatible, Android on its way. Cheers guys. I really do like the idea - though I don't have an iOS device that supports it right now. Waiting on le Androidness.

Now, 1,000,000 metres. I am seriously hoping that the Nielsen polls are wrong because THAT MAN ABBOTT cannot be Prime Minister. His party, maybe - couldn't give a shit, they're all the fuckin' same. But if Abbott gets in, as a country we're boned. And not in a good way.

Now, 10,000,000 metres. Just... just fuck you, guys. You five guys involved in the incident in India that I'm not even going to name. Fuck you all. And not in the good way.

Now, 100,000,000 metres. Hey, uh, that's... that's the whole world, basically. Um... what happened in the world today?

A few hundred thousand people gave birth. A few thousand people's lives were saved. Some people made some really good choices and made some new friends. At least one took a huge risk and lucked out (that is, the good version of lucked out). Good on you, whoever you are.

As for me...

...I ate some peanuts.

August 18, 2013

One Over Zero had a good idea.

EPISODE 184: DO YOU THINK FORTY RED PIKMIN IS ENOUGH TO LAUNCH AN UNDERGROUND ASSAULT?

Number one is just starting off with a seven-year-old lesson: 0.002 dollars is NOT the same as 0.002 cents. If you think that there is no difference... go fuck yourself. Now.

melk skud

Number two is to flagrantly nick Cold Chisel's style.

batita

Number three is getting a little bit down low with the Soundlab again. Yeah, I'm getting my weekly fix of bleepy sweepy creepy freaky electronica and experimental shit that your ears can't stand but mine can't stand to be without. It's like all those songs your mother loves and everyone else, including you, hates to death. Except that I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER.

koktejl

Number four is wishing it was summer again. Winter is stupid. Coldness is bad. I hate having to do stuff to warm up.

frullato

Number five is mixing up all my dates in October. Dammit. Ah well, I have myself sussed out now... I think.

kaktel ng gatas

Number six is realising how many games are on my "to-clock" list. Look at this: Assassins' Creed, Assassins' Creed 2, Black & White, Black & White 2, Boom Street, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, Halo: Combat Evolved, Jetpack Joyride, Mario Party 9, Mario Party DS, Mario Tennis Open, Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Games (for DS and Wii), Mario & Sonic At The London 2012 Olympic Games, Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games, Mirror's Edge, Nerf N-Strike, Osmos, Pikmin, Pikmin 2, Plants Vs. Zombies, Pokémon Black, Pokémon Black 2, Pokémon Emerald, Pokémon Platinum, Pokémon SoulSilver, Portal 2, Quidditch World Cup, Sins Of A Solar Empire, Spelunky, StarCraft, Starcraft: Brood War, Starcraft II: Heart Of The Swarm, Super Meat Boy, Super Paper Mario, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Unreal Tournament 2004, WarioWare Inc., WarioWare: DIY, WarioWare: Touched, Wii Cricket, Wii Play, Wii Play Motion, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort. And there's more.

ysgytlaeth

Number seven is ending on the lucky number seven, and running out of translations for the word "milkshake" that are in Latin-based alpbahets. (Sorry, all you other languages, but I can't guarantee that everyone will be able to see the milkshaky goodness.)

August 13, 2013

Exploding piss eggs at midnight.

EPISODE 183: I NO LONGER HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR THE BEHAVIOUR OF MY PIKMIN

I'll start with a little advert: this.

I'll continue with a little song: ♫

So, for starters, the numbers have grown and my "situation" has worsened to the point where I can't face it any more, so I'm not going to talk about either of those. Instead, have a kitty!

    _                ___       _.--.
    \`.|\..----...-'`   `-._.-'_.-'`
    /  ' `         ,       __.--'
    )/' _/     \   `-_,   /
    `-'" `"\_  ,_.-;_.-\_ ',     
        _.-'_./   {_.'   ; /
       {_.-``-'         {_/

(not my copyright. but then again, a lot of my stuff either isn't my copyright or I've parodied in some form or another. or it's CC-BY. or... actually FUCK IT because I have basically no OC any more. ...I'll just move over here and pretend that you never saw me.)

each one of my owls is staring at me
but everyone is fond of owls
except for mice and shrews
and I think Simon Cowell likes owls too

The first worst durst part of being a student is the fact that I get ripped on by adults. But I guess that's OK because I WEAR A DAMN HOODIE. Also I have feet. Did I ever tell you about my feet? My feet that had a big victory last night? No? Damn. Oh well. I had a big victory last night. And my feet were 44.8241743% responsible. But my arms also did some work. So too did my head, and a fraction of a percentage of my spleen as well.

Fan.

I'd FIRE MAH LAZER except I don't have a lazer. How anticlimactically fun.

I am still finding blue hair being tracked around my house! What the hell is this?! My blue hair disappeared when the magical mathematical dæmons wished it all away. BUT THERE IS STILL BLÜ KICKING AROUND. And I've forgotten what my point was because my train of thought derailed.

And it's continuing to derail and has in fact ploughed into a mountainside. I'm going to stop imagining this train now. Remember kids, imaginary trains carry no passengers! See you around.

August 2, 2013

Widderschynnes to your doom.

EPISODE 182: OH NO!

about a million lines away lies the completion of a project that probably never will be. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

so... many... numbers...

Thursdays, like clockwork. Like fucking clockwork.

protect the memory.

If you don't believe in me, I won't believe in you. You're screwing it up.

magic number just magically keeps getting higher and higher...

Let's go to the stars. Seriously, the stars. Hollywood. Hollyweird even. I wouldn't mind a trip. Acid trip maybe but a trip nonetheless. Probably something to keep you on your toes as well because I wouldn't mind the walk up Baldwin Street either or maybe a climb up the towers and... and... and... rrrrrrrrainbow jelleh. Or cupcakes. Or... a cardboard box?

squit squit squit

Hey, Houston, uh... you're not gonna like this...

now it seems like I've somehow gotta find a way to remember and recite every fucking thing you've said to me. I already got a bad case of déjà vu from you as is.

car goes past
bad day gets worse
small town kid gets big city wakeup and fucking loves it so fucking much he stays.

We already gave up our tears to the neon sky. What now?

Criminies I thought this shit was meant to be gone but now I'm all agitated and shit like a washing machine and I have zero idea why. I get the feeling that I'm going to regret writing this blog post but I suppose I shouldn't regret anything. I'm going now.

Yo Kemosabe... you're a good egg.
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