November 21, 2011

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 120
"LAST ONE ASLEEP, KILL THE LIGHTS AND MUSIC"

And so, we come to another season finale. Albeit a rushed one, so I'm just going to finish it here and be done with it.

No I'm not, because I've already pulled that trick on you all before. So I guess I'll finish by letting you know that I'm finishing for the season and for the year and that I'll be back in January or February or one of those ridiculously obscure months and have a seventh season and remind you that I'm only going to last ten seasons - that is, 200 episodes - before I give up and shut up and look at my other project, it's nearly done and I'm going to go to bed soon but before I do there are a few special mentions that I need to make about people. I will not mention names but I shall mention initials and you will know who you are, and if you have to ask, then you don't know who you are and you aren't on the list.
• NL - for obvious reasons
• AM, KH, SF, EC, MG, RB, RB, HT, TF, MR - for semi-obvious reasons
• PF, BT, TB, LJ - for being IT-worthy
• LB, KH, JF - for being unofficially IT-worthy (I shall indoctrinate you all eventually)
• CM, EA - for being decent flatmates
• CM - for being a decent flatmate-in-training
• MT, MM, SM - for being kickass after the unthinkable happened
• JY, JM, PF, LJ, AF, MW, GP, GB, KW, JS - for being an awesome team
• GP, LM, AO, LR, SF, FS, WD, KV, SM, LB, JT, EP, SM, JT, LG - for being an awesome team-in-training
• MG, AM, JF, HT, ND, TB, TT, SB, AC, RF - for being amazing upstairs neighbours
• TB, DH, LM, DM, SM - for behind-the-scenes support
• AG, MG, NL, LV, SM, DK, EC, RB, KW, NC, DB - for Isidore
• TF - for the games of pool and Scrabble-on-Facebook that were inevitably closer than I initially thought
• AF - for reminding me what it is to be CJ Curry
• finally: CJ - for being CJ.
If you're not on the list and think you deserve to be, give me a yell. I may go deaf in the process, but I'll consider including you. If you have appeared twice or more, congratulations! You are Epic™.

See you next year!

November 18, 2011

It was all to stay awake for the longest.

• THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 100 + 19
"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, THE END OF THE WORLD, THE... AH, FORGET IT"

Gasp. Nearly done for the season and the year. So. So so so. What to talk about next... Um...

Um...

stuff?

Um...

I just wanna bump? >.<

Um...

you're kinda cute? Whoever you are, reading this, you're cute. Yeah. That'll do.

Um... no, screw it, I'm not "um"ing the whole post. I'm actually going to do something decent here.

Remember how I said back in episode 37 that they seek me with thimbles? It's the truth. They also really did threaten my life with a railway-share. But I'm still alive and I have driven to the Rat and it annoys me so I shall shut up and carry on.

Have another quick recap, in song format.
• We Can't Fly - Aeroplane
• Time To Wander - Gypsy & The Cat
• A Community Service Announcement - Jonathan Boulet
• Holidays - Miami Horror ft. Alan Palamo
• Lovers' Carvings - Bibio
• The Beach - Superimposers
• Misread - Kings Of Convenience
• Reckless With Your Love (Tensnake rmx) - Azari & III
• Smells Like Content - The Books
• Knight Moves - Chilly Gonzales
• Coma Cat - Tensnake
• Rock It (Dublin Aunts rmx) - Little Red
• Dancing On My Own (Fred Falke rmx) - Robyn
• Amanæmonesia - Chairlift
• Street - Jamie Woon
• Knights - Crystal Castles
• Look Inside (Izmabad rmx) - 4Hero ft. FACE
• Odessa - Caribou
• Turns Me On - Big Boi ft. Sleepy Brown & Joi
• Swoon - The Chemical Brothers
• Midnight City - M83
• I Wrote The Book - Simian Mobile Disco ft. Beth Ditto
• Cooler Couleur - Crookers ft. Yelle
• Eskimo Boy - Strange Talk
• Contact High - Architecture In Helsinki
• Arpeggio - Jackson And His Computer Band
• King Of The Stars (Pablo Calamari rmx) - Dr. Don-Don
• Foreign Language - Flight Facilities ft. Jess Higgs
• Embody - SebastiAn
• Hits Me Like A Rock - CSS
• Niton - Eric Prydz
• Lights On - Katy B ft. Ms Dynamite
• Eyes Be Closed - Washed Out
• Zimbabwe - New Navy
• Ain't Waiting - Talib Kweli ft. Outasight
• Solitude Is Bliss - Tame Impala
• Blitz - Digitalism
• Take Me Over - Cut Copy
• Ill Behaviour - Danny Byrd ft. I-Kay
• Stereo Love - Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina
• The Call - Raized By Wolves ft. Tom Smith
• Paradise - Sam La More
• The Face Of The Planet - The Subs
• Electric Lady - Tesla Boy
• Together (Super Mal rmx) - Those Usual Suspects
• We Run The Nite - Tonite Only
• Need You Now - Cut Copy
• Summersun - Miami Horror
• After Hours - Ronny Jordan
• Le Bump - Yolanda Be Cool ft. Crystal Waters
• Knights - Crystal Castles
• Treehouse - Gold Fields
• Gabriel - Joe Goddard ft. Valentina
• Destroy Everything You Touch - Ladytron
• Boom - Lo-Fi-Fnk
• The Night Last Night - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Rose Elinor Dougall & Andrew Wyatt
• Alors On Danse - Stromæ
• We.Are - Who.Is
• Illmerica - Wolfgang Gartner
• Start Again - The Aston Shuffle ft. Lovers Electric
• Stay Awake - Example
• Jona Vark - Gypsy & The Cat
• An Argument With Myself - Jens Lekman
• The Truth - Pnau
• Still Sound - Toro Y Moi
• The Bike Song - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Kyle Falconer & Spank Rock
• Beautiful Strange - Bedrock
• Bang Bang Bang - Mark Ronson & The Business International ft. Q-Tip & MNDR
• High Together - Siriusmo
• Fuck Friend (CSS rmx) - Bitchee Bitchee Ya Ya Ya
• Animal Rights - deadmau5 & Wolfgang Gartner
• Runaway - Mason
• The Phoenix Alive - Monarchy
• Targa - Russ Chimes
• Kissed By The Sun (Sidechain rmx) - San ft. Therese
• Something Good Can Work (Twelves rmx) - Two Door Cinema Club
• Freefallin' (Denzal Park rmx) - Zoë Badwi
• Kiss My Trance - The Subs
• BRRRAT! - Armand Van Helden & Steve Aoki
• Babylon - Congorock
• Paper Romance - Groove Armada
That's about it. You lot have heard enough of my crap anyway. Be sure to join me -- I mean, US -- for the season finale, which shall happen before Tuesday.

November 14, 2011

Play by the rules!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE (six seasons minus two)
"STAND STILL, AND BE SWATTED!"

Recapping number two. I like number two. So I will recap it.

1. JANUARY. I had fun. I stayed at college and made myself comfortable in the flat. I enjoyed the company of some fun people and had some pretty fun times, especially when I played the crickets. I watched the crickets as well, was introduced to the hot tub and saw Ratatat. Finally, I got some work two weeks in a row. I loved it.
2. FEBRUARY. I had fun. Training, O Week prep, then finally O Week. The greatest week of the year. And I got to run some of the events, and learn some lessons about how I should run them next year, and oh my gods I had such a fun week. Oh, and thanks to the kids in red.
3. MARCH. I had fun as classes started. I also bought my new BEAST OF A COMPUTER. In case you're wondering, no, it doesn't have a name. If I wanted to name it I'd probably name it something cool. But I don't. So I won't.
4. APRIL. I had fun, though nothing special happened - normal boring uni stuff - until the end of the month, when I put my feet on Tasmanian soil for the first time. It took me over 21 years to visit this beautiful island. Thanks hugely to Nicole for taking me along! This now means I've visited every state and mainland territory of Australia, save Jervis Bay. But I doubt I'll ever get there. I've also never been to Brisbane. Close, though.
5. MAY. I had fun asking "May I have a cookie please?" May was the month of Masterchef Season 1, and the Suitcase Ball. It was also assignment season and that was the kicker for me. But I survived, somehow, and I even got in a bit of time to go see Cut Copy with Lucas and Tom. Winning!
6. JUNE. I had fun during exam season. In among it all, I managed to get StarCraft II and watch Mike get waxed. I had a scribble party (YAY), my first time running Swotvac events (YAY) and I somehow managed to fit in a party at Mia's in all that.
7. JULY. Not fun. My wisdom teeth. Isidore. Re-O-Week. Enough said.
8. AUGUST. I had fun. It was a fairly busy month, as it always is in august months, as Open Day, Gala Dinner and Co-Ordinator applications came and went and flew by and saw me becoming awesome again for next year. I enjoyed it. And the Census.
9. SEPTEMBER. I had some fun, but not all of it. The unthinkable happened. It's more thinkable now, in retrospect. So I spent the rest of the month trying to get my head around the unthinkable. A trip to the Great Ocean Road and the college play kinda helped. A little. We're off to see the geezer...
10. OCTOBER. I had fun, but what a busy month. Assignment season again, plus the zombie shuffle, coupled with training, added on to the college ball, combined with a lasertag session, this was a hella busy month. Seriously.
11. NOVEMBER. I've had fun. It's been fairly laid back. I've met a new awesome friend and gotten closer to some other awesome people that I knew already but never got a huge chance to get close to. So to speak. It's exam season but I finish early and that means I get to have some fun. Yay!
12. DECEMBER. Sorry, that's a secret. I'll have fun, though.

November 10, 2011

I don't wanna miss this.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE T20 Individual Record
"THERE IS NO TIME LEFT FOR WASTING"

Right. Facebook's Notes feature has decided that it's going to be a total jackass and stop importing stuff from Blogspot's RSS feed reader on November 22nd. So that means I have twelve days to smash out four posts to end the season before this happens. It's so I can at least have SOME kind of archive beyond Blogspot. (Way to go, Blogspot. You just surpassed Facebook as Most Awesome Blogging Site Evar.)

So I might as well make them all summing-up posts. First things first. 2011 has seen the introduction of a new project. If you've been featured in it, hooray! If you haven't: aww. There's still a month and a half left for you to be featured in it. Call me and I'll arrange a photoshoot. For those who have, don't worry, I will gracefully acknowledge you all come December 31. Trust me.

I saw 377 aeroplanes.

It's November. This means that I'm rapidly running out of months. Months be annoying. Which is why I've decided to punch the gas. Because I hate gas. And gas hates me. And it hates punching. Which isn't my problem.

I have two exams remaining: mechanics and algebra. I'm looking forward to the algebra one first, the mechanics one second. Which sucks, because the mechanics one comes first. HEAR THAT, EXAMS? YOU SUCK!

Oh yeah, and just so you lot know, I've made some pretty important decisions for my future. Here they are, in no particular order of importance:
• I'm doing this shit again next year.
• I'm also doing my real-world job again next year.
• I'm switching from photos to videos next year.
• I'm going to part-time for 2013. Assuming I survive the apocalypse.
• I'm going to kill Ubuntu. Seriously.
• I'm getting a job soon. I need moneys for games. And other stuffs.
I suppose I should sum up twelve months' worth of blog posts. So here it is.
1. I emerge from my coffin of doom.
2. Words of wisdumb.
3. Turn the page.
4. Ahrr. Ahrr ahrr ahrr ahrr ahrr. Ahrr ahrr. Ahrr.
5. I'm positive I lost an electron.
6. Because you told me to, is why.
7. Lost in a mess of paperclips.
8. Curse you.
9. Don't talk, or I'll lose my balance!
10. No, you may not have another cookie.
12. My finest dream?
13. Land of the great known.
14. I looked at your bandannas, and thought of you.
15. Who are your main tenants?
16. What is this? I don't even...
17. Hi. You're ugly.
18. Pages and pages and pages...
19. Your FACE is a beanbag chair.
20. Well, that about wraps it up for another season.
21. Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.
22. My fork is forkier than your fork.
23. What an august month.
24. When will you learn? When will I learn?
25. Toothpicks are shiny.
26. Play with me. Learn with me. Sing.
27. Whose butt do I have to kiss NOW?!
28. "Go jump in the lake" has a literal meaning here...
29. Everyone join in for the chorus!
30. The bananas are back!
31. Are you sitting comfortably? No? That sucks.
32. Smile grotesquely the day after tomorrow.
33. Collapse with me. Or else.
34. Soundlabs, trains, and a barbeque.
36. Le danger!
37. I don't wanna miss this.
38. ???
39. ???
40. ???
Super green, huh?

November 6, 2011

Le danger!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE <episode number redacted>
"THERE IS MUCH MERRY TO BE HAD, AND NONE OF IT HERE"

You will.

That's all. You will.

I don't care what you will. You just will.

YOU. WILL.

<ring ring> Hello? YOU WILL.

Will you?

Yes, you will. You will throw caution to the wind and you will. Because bugger caution.

You WILL.

You will, simply because I say you will and it's the best thing for you. So you will.

NO ARGUMENTS. You will.

It doesn't matter what you will, but you will.

You, uh, will.

You just will.

I swear, you will.

As long as I have breath in my body and as the various gods are my witnesses, I will ensure that, from here on in, I will continually hunt you down, regardless of whether you're in some arid climate or even in a freezing cold one and probably half dead from starvation or freezing or boiling in the first place, mind you that's a pretty damned stupid way to get away from me in the first place, but that's not the point, the point is, wherever you are and as long as I'm still alive and you haven't yet done this thing, I will make sure to find you and ensure that YOU WILL.

You... just... will.

October 30, 2011

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE (((Math.pi * 10) % 10) * 100) + ((Math.pi * 10000) % 100)
"REALLY? REALLY?"

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

brains

brainsbrainsbrains

braaaaaaaains

brains brainy brains

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

braaaaaaaaaains

brains

brains brains braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains brains braaaaaaaaaaaaains

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains brains brainy brains

braaains

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

brains brains brains brains braaaaaaaaaaaaaains brains brains brains brains brains

braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains

braains

braaaaaains

brains

October 24, 2011

Soundlabs, trains, and a barbeque.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE one 1 FORE
"YOU WILL BELIEVE IN UN-MIRACLES AFTER THIS"

Ahoy. And un-ahoy.

You should meet the people who figure most in my life in the moment. First, there is me. Say hi to him! He is a 6'3", 165lb civilian, interested in cricket, mathematics, computers, video games, and helps his landlady carry out her garbag-- wait. Wrong movie.

Next, there is Figs. Say hi to him! He is an expert at killing zombies, as well as not giving a flying fuck about certain things. (Not a bad thing.) He (presumably) enjoys long walks on the beach at sunset, as well as Jäger bombs and Heinekens (although he thankfully leaves his collar un-popped).

Next, there is Tisiphone. Say hi to her! She likes anything that is fluffy, and consequently, is in training to be a vet. She is also in training to be a crazy cat lady, which kinda makes sense as she will save a fortune on vet bills.

Next, there is the Battyman. Say hi to him! His quick wit and sarcasm, as well as his checkout chick abilities, make him an ideal candidate for Awesome Of The Month. He's also studying robots, to find out what makes their clockwork tick. (Oh, I crack myself up.)

Next, there is the soundlab. Say hi to... er... it! OK, it's not a person. But it's run by a person. And I appreciate it every Sunday night slash Monday morning. Much respect for the soundlabs.

Next, there is the IT Crowd. Say hi to them! Computer scientist, games specialist, electronic engineer, information systems person, and lunatic. Also expanding to include another electronic engineer and another information systems person, and (honourably) a civil engineer.

Next, there is Yatesy. Say hi to her! She specialises in medieval weapons of all kinds, essays, and annoying me. I also found out lately that she's not great at pillow fights. But she's cool. Damned cool.

Next, there is a small lump of green putty I found under my armpit one morning. Say hi to it!

Next, there is a bunch of songs I use to cope with everyday time. Say hi to them! I post them here.

Next are all the rest of the Chisholmites. Say hi to them! They make me and my life awesome and well worth having fun with. I enjoy it.

Finally, there is me. Say hi to him!

October 15, 2011

Collapse with me. Or else.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE A HUNDRED AND SPOOKY
"HELLO AND HOW ARE YOU NICE TO MEET YOU"

Blogging from a super special secret silent sharky spooky small location today-morrow. It's in Curryland, that's all you need to know. And bearing that in mind, it's time to begin the Experience.

Has anyone noticed me walking around Curryland randomly chiming up with the word "neeeeen!", spoken in a high-pitched voice and with a huge grin on my face? Sometimes accompanied by a little jump? ...Neither have I. It's what happens when you combine sleep deprivation with adrenaline with CJ being in a happy mood and it happens often then I crash back to Earth really hard. Don't mess with me.

Like most of you, I like music. And I've decided that I'm going to discuss (briefly) some music addictions by playing them randomly from my best playlist.
• Knights - Crystal Castles (what the fuck is he saying?)
• I Wanna See You - The Aston Shuffle (because I spend my time in clubs too)
• Shooting Stars - Bag Raiders (way overdue for a mention in this blog)
• Crimewave - Crystal Castles (what the FUCK is he saying?)
• Boom - Lo-Fi-Fnk (I have a thing for Scandinavian music)
• The Truth - Pnau (puh-nyow!)
• Midnight City - M83 (bringing together my favourite three elements: night, city, cheese)
• Lights On - Katy B ft. Miss Dynamite (she's ridiculously cute in the video. Too-big jumpers FTW)
• We Run The Nite - Tonite Only (oh yeah)
• Anamæmonesia - Chairlift (fucking awesome song)
• Xxzxcuzxx Me - Crystal Castles (WHAT the FUCK is she SAYING?)
• Ain't Waiting - Talib Kweli ft. Outasight (your face when)
• Lisztomania - Phoenix (because I love phoenixes)
• Eyes Be Closed - Washed Out (truly beautiful. Truly, truly beautiful)
• Celestica - Crystal Castles (WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE... wait. This is a nice song)
I hear a distinct lack of aeroplanes, bicycles and cheese. This is a problem.

I am about to play my first cricket match for seven months. Last time I did this, I scored 54 runs not out and promptly came down with a migraine. I also met some people yesterdayish who like the crickets. And I, by extension, like them. But hear this: DO NOT SUPPORT ENGLAND OVER AUSTRALIA. Support anyone else over Australia, but WE MUST RECLAIM THE ASHES, YA HEAR?!? (you reading this, Fi?)

Also, bye bye! See you next post. Ish. Neeeen!

October 8, 2011

Smile grotesquely the day after tomorrow.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 14, 16, 28, 56, 112

Curryland is beautiful at this time of year. Why not try a holiday?

...ahem. I've done some pretty stupid things: I've thrown my hat into the ring twice in a row and won; I've gone running and jumping a hundred times, just for the sake of it; I've put myself under so much pressure that I almost collapsed under its weight. Now, I'm doing something even stupider: blogging on an empty stomach and sleep deprivation.

gaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I'm sitting on a chair. Next to me is an owl. Next to the owl is an amazingly amazing awesome. You want to tell me what an awesome is? It's similar to an epic. It's also similar to a win and a win is a win is a win is a win. Wiiiiiiiiin. Because there's no dog there. Ooooooooh.

Do you see an aeroplane because I don't see an aeroplane all I see is the sound of an aeroplane and the noise of a bicycle and... squeeeeeeeeeek. What the hell is that squeek? Joyful. And the ratatouille! Oh, the ratatouille! Del dot icio dot us. Ish. Have fun with that. A ha.

Want pie now. You got pie?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand let's have a little bit of fun and call it a slap on the arse cheeks because who doesn't like that stuff. Not me! I loves a bit of funzies. Because it's worth the fun and it's worth the effort and it's worth the extra time blogging and stuff and... yay.

I'm gonna say that you're an idiot. And you're not gonna care, because you're not reading this. And I'm in the middle of the Curryland offices without a care in the world. Maybe a care or two. But not in the world. Worlds win.

Yoy.

And yoy again. Yahoo!

October 3, 2011

Are you sitting comfortably? No? That sucks.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE NELSON
"HALIBUT BREATH"

This is the AFL final version of the experiment Carrie CJ.

And using the RSS reader I / my computer on another version of the direct experience of the unit, read the screen / paper / my hell, and I'm proud to present. Yes, it is very loose. I'm not from hell, and you can convert back to non-English language, do it, you very well, leading to surprising your life miserable and sad. At least I go every time, please. Today, we see a lot of people.

Down, but very important work. I have three projects. UNI has more than three weeks, and my career. Of the month 1 and 3 months my, please continue. Because it needs to do, go all out. Began on the project. The second is at an end. Third, jumping between the full and complete.

Anyway. I just, I see that you can see, there are a lot of time, the Federal Reserve through an interpreter, they - I think your glory, all the people, favorite quote, I want to join.

First, a description of his death.

"Death is an illusion. Dead is dead, he always always always live, if you do not mean that death is all you have."

Then, a description of the sport.

"No, no code, and can be accessed by everyone, and promise for everyone."

Finally, my guess.

"Understanding of the magic of traditional rights. Phoenix is ​​still alive. "

I have in my office: clip, remote control, video camera, and covers chocolate, two, controllers for video game consoles, USB flash disks, achievements, and a list of some albums. Of course, my computer junk. Desktop on a regular basis, but the pair around the clock, binary clock, and the elements of weather clock, calendar. Many of the fans? If you share these details, I have a little more of everything to hell.

I need to sleep. Chief Justice, sleeplessness, do not get along. Extends from the last few weeks were bad, especially when I think. Way of life, and I'm not, I'm obviously not working. But I think he chose. I can not live alone in shame. I think.

Possible. Therefore, the chapter ends! Please enjoy the future ... Now!

September 27, 2011

The bananas are back!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 1337 (mod 1227)
"CJ IS BEGINNING TO ANNOY YOU..."

la la la la

I have relax. Take that, Frankie.

So, what to discuss today? I suppose I better discuss KABOOM

...
...
...
...

Curryland Media, Inc. apologises for the inconvenient bomb placed right under CJ Curry, and its subsequent inconvenient explosion. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

...
...
...
...

*emerges*

Whew. That was an interesting experience. Thank goodness kittens didn't die. But it also... changed me slightly. In fact, I think I've changed into a nice blogger. I think I'm going to blog about nice things now. Like kittens, and ponies, and rainbows, and puppies, and pink fluffy unicorns. Yay! Everything is nice! Everything is fun! Everything is KABOOM

...
...
...
...

Curryland Media, Inc. apologises for placing a bomb underneath CJ Curry, in order to bring him back to normal. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

...
...
...
...

*emerge*

Well, fuck. I'm dead. And this is hell. Well, I hope hell is ready for me.

Anyway. I was supposed to talk to you lot today about analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold... or something like that. But I don't know anything about it. What am I doing to do? I know. I'll be all CJ and make bad jokes and play tag and fly kites and

KABOOM

...
...
...
...

Hell has exploded. We apologise for the inconvenience, but CJ Curry was just too much for us. We shall rebuild hell and Curryland and return you to your regularly scheduled blog within a week.

September 22, 2011

Everyone join in for the chorus!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE Mt
"AND SHAZAM, WE HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE."

I have finally found song lyrics that describe me almost perfectly. Almost. The problem is, they're from a bunch of different songs. But hey, I'm going to write them anyway, and I'm not going to mention anything about kittens or dying. Hooray! I'm writing lyrics verbatim but you all know what I mean. I hope.
• I'm vulnerable. I am not a robot.
• The phoenix, alive.
• Mistaken for magic.
• Walking through the night trying to find his way home again, lost and forgotten. Upon the treetops, he sits and watches all of the people as they ponder. He's thinking out loud, speaking to a ghost about the way which he wonders; acceptance to the fact that there's no turning back. I know where I stand: I am a man amongst the people. Like a jigsaw, the final pieces have come together.
• We can't fly.
• Chasing broken dreams.
• I like a journey way into the night.
• Every face I see is cold as ice, everything I touch is pain, ever since you lost imagination. Sometimes the sound of goodbye is louder than any drum beat.
• I saw a million people staring at the sky, I heard a million voices sing into the night. I saw a million hands there, high into the air. If you remember anything about paradise, they say you were never there.
• You could be all that you want to, but you can't make someone want you.
• I can't slow down.
• Time for the sun to shine.
• I don't want to think anymore about anything that I can't see.
• Got no time for memories.
• Why do I carry such a weight on my shoulders?
• On a warm night in March, on a dark disco floor, I danced up a storm like I'd never before. Every step in the book, and then some that weren't listed; for a song or two I thought nothing else existed.
• It's late and I'm awake.
• Poor Leno.
• Alone in the dark.
• The map has started tearing along its creases due to overuse.
• I can look at my shadow as much as I please. You will never come close to how I feel.
• ...it's over.
Oh yeah, and THE CAKE IS A LIE.

Next, I feel that I need to show you a little sneak peek at what I'm studying. So here:

$\frac{1}{v^2}\frac{\partial^2 u}{\partial t^2}=\frac{\partial^2 u}{\partial x^2}. \,$

(I stole that from Wikipedia by the way)

And finally, here is a short burst of someone being ripped to shreds.

GAH

Thank you. Good night.

September 15, 2011

"Go jump in the lake" has a literal meaning here...

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE f'(0)|f(x)=-108sin(x)
"GET BALLOON. FILL BALLOON. THROW BALLOON. RINSE AND REPEAT."

Alrighty. Personal shit this time around, because you love personal shit and gossip and you don't like hearing about Curryland or kittens not dying or aeroplanes or any of that other crap I spout on about (I used to say shit about bicycles!) so I'm gonna play some tapes from my life in the last few weeks.

First and foremost, the unthinkable happened. That doesn't necessarily mean that all is lost. But it does mean some pretty radical changes for me and a few people involved, especially mentally. So I may be posting in a different style for a while. Yes, that's right, it's affected me that much. That's right, bitches, I wore something *other* than black the other day.

Second, I now have a fully-functioning Java program. Needs a little more work for shit like "oh yeah, this chump got hurt so we need to fix up his numbers". But otherwise it works, it's in beta, but it's not on the Internets yet. I need to consult an expert first. HEY MISTER HAWKING! ...wait, wrong kind of expert.

Third, I like Jona Vark.

Fourth, it's a mistake to write when I'm addicted to a song.

Fifth, I got the job again for next year. In case you missed it. So I'll be busy a lot of next week. So I may not post. You may not care. I'm still writing twenty every season. And every season is still going to be six months. And I'm going to keep this up for my whole uni career. And I'm still doing my 365 project. And I'm also going to find some other way of logging next year and its activities. I had a diary in '07 and a 365 project in '11. Maybe videos? Or something else? That'll make three 365 projects. Ah! I has an idea!! The idea is this: "Seven Days In Seven Minutes". Talk about my week in front of a camera, 52.14 times. With guest(s) if need be.

Sixth, I'm tired and I have class soon.

Seventh, and last, your aeroplane is getting away. Go catch it.

September 7, 2011

Whose butt do I have to kiss NOW?!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND THIS
"BE ANNOYED!"

Right. Time to begin. I think. *checks watch* No, we're still waiting on a couple of slackarses. We need to get this show on the road, otherwise kittens will die. And we like kittens here and we don't want them to die. If they're not here in the next three sentences, we'll have to start without them.

I like pie. (one)

I've been pretty heavily snowed-under, so it should come as no surprise that I've been posting less. (two)

Green. (three)

Damn those lazy bastards. Well, time to get going.

I have discovered recently that Australia is the land of logical fallacies, Catch-22s and paradoxes. See, not only do we have the platypus, laws against hot pink pants, and Centrelink; they also have me as a guest every so often. I mean, hell, look at me. Would *you* want me? Good thing Australia isn't Curryland. Or rather, Curryland isn't Australia. Or... whatever the hell.

feep.

Assignment season is upon us once again, and by the looks, it's going to be a magnificent harvest. Not for me, mind, but for the chumps who are assessing us. I hope they get as much stress out of marking our assignments as we get for writing them. Soon it'll be study season, then exam season. Heh. The four seasons of a semester: orientation, assignment, study, exam. Each one lasting different amounts of time. Orientation: four to five. Assignment: five. Study: six. Exam: three. Then holidays. Then back into it. Bloody university.

With further ado, I present the end of this post. And the further ado is this:

{([<what.>])}

Catchy, isn't it? And now, we have a small dot:

.

Thank you. And now we have an aeroplane cutting me off mid-

Thank you, aeroplane. Now, I present you with an amusing fact to finish us off:

"There are two types of people in this world - those who can extrapolate information from incomplete data, "

August 28, 2011

Play with me. Learn with me. Sing.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE CVI
"DESTROY HIP HOP! DESTROY ROCK AND ROLL! DESTROY DEATH METAL! DESTROY ELECTRONICA! DESTROY COUNTRY-WESTERN! DESTROY POP!"

I just realised something. Though you know what's happening in the world (thanks largely to my awesomeness and your stupidity - because seriously, how stupid can you get, deciding to read this junk?) I haven't told you much about Curryland lately.

Curryland is... boring.

But then again, not many of you know what Curryland is like. It's a mythical land and not many of you have been there. I feel I owe it to you to explain what Curryland is like, so you can make your own decisions about whether to visit or not. So here is my description of Curryland.

Curryland is... boring.

Okay, serious now. Imagine Curryland as like the land in Borderlands. Although I've been waiting weeks to use that comparison, it's not entirely true. There is desert. But there's also massive grassland, ice lands, a huge volcano rising above craggy rocky mountains, a city in the clouds, beautiful beaches and ocean, and a rainforest. Although I've been waiting years to use that description from a whole bunch of different Super Mario Bros games, it's also not entirely true. But there is really a desert. And a city. I live in the heart of the city, in a suburb known as Currytopia.

Curry City is a beautiful city. It's about double the size of Sydney (or about 9k square miles) and triple the population of Melbourne population (for all you non-Melburnians out there, try roughly twelve million people). It's got a beach twice the size of Brisbane's biggest, and it's as far away from any other city as is Perth. It has as many churches as Adelaide, as much warm weather as Darwin, as many market days as Hobart, and we don't have a parliament house so we're not like Canberra. So there. That's Curry City.

Curryland is under the rule of the Grand High Super Top Head Vice Ultra Mega Happy Democrator Aloysius J. Snottenheimer, Ph. D., supreme dictator of the Democratic Republican Empire of Curry (or Curryland for short). We're allowed to address him as "Hey You". Though he is a dictator, he's also a benevolent emperor and a kind and caring CEO.

We're a happy bunch here. The murder rate is 0%. The crime rate is 0.01% (purely from petty shoplifters and one person who drove under the influence of alcohol - though nothing serious happened to her). Hey You doesn't have any opposition; he doesn't need it, except one time when he decided that he wanted the fish for dinner one night but he was told that the restaurant was all out of fish. (After a short exchange, he decided on a parmigiana instead.) We also have absolutely no problems with anything else.

We are not a metaphor, we're just a myth. But still, we love the utopia. We don't want out. Because if we get out, kittens will die. We like kittens.

Anyway. Enough of that morbidity. I'll get back to work.

August 22, 2011

Toothpicks are shiny.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 01101001
"PSYCHIC FORETELLING POWERS?"

I munch my cold leftover pizza and finish my music review. I type.

I eat a chocolate bar. I glance at the clock. I realise I should probably fuck off as I have sleep to attend to (otherwise kittens will die).

I ignore my own advice. I look at Facebook. I also look up meme faces. I search for "Challenge Accepted".

I glance at tomorrow's to-do list. I see three tasks. I take a more in-depth look. I see eight tasks. I cross off the two I've already done. I still see eight tasks. I remember the two I crossed off were daily tasks.

I immerse myself in the soundlab soundscapes. I reflect on micro and minimalistic music. I want to induce a micro phase upon myself. I uncontrollably think of Inception. I uncontrollably think of the Game. I lose the Game.

I look at my wombat. I enjoyed filming today.

I consider the progress I've made in Borderlands. I believe I'm doing a good job. I remember I'm at Lv37 and I remember I'm in Jakobs Cove in Playthrough 1. I like it.

I snap back to reality. I remember that tomorrow I'm feeding a third of the college. I realise they're cooking it themselves. I recognise that I've done this before.

I throw two dice. I roll a six and a three. I note that this is equal to my charisma score. I can't remember if equal-or-greater is positive for me, or equal-or-lower, or strictly-lower, or strictly-greater. I grab my +2 sword instead. I can't remember what that adds two points to. I ready my last Fireball spell. I fling it at the Black Pudding. I read my iPod. I remember that in RPGs iPods don't exist and the iPod vanishes with a puff of logic. I have a cup, and it is full of tea. I move north and I hit a brick wall. I remember that I'm in my bedroom and north of me is a brick wall. I remember Randy Pausch. I walk through the brick wall.

I get eaten by a grue.

(psst. time to fuck off, eh?)

August 14, 2011

When will you learn? When will I learn?

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 23 x 13
"DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS AND BLAND"

...
...
...
...
...
Whoa. You startled me. I didn't expect you to return. At all. Erm... I actually have nothing planned, so I'll just make some shit up. OK? OK. Here goes.

"Leave Night-Time Alone"

as the city sleeps
the sky is lit
and time is lost

i sit on the ridge
visions of tomorrow
running through me
consequences of today

life's burdens are forgotten
life's pleasures are here

a walk is in order
through the concrete jungle
into the forest
of lights and music

people are still walking
people are still talking
people are still drinking

i'm alone in the crowd
the lights are for me
and for me only

it feels nicer
than four hours later
enjoy while you can

tonight i'm very alive
don't worry, i'm fine

Inspiration: an evening on Mt Cooper followed by a walk in the city two nights later. And yes, I made it all up on the spot (save the title, and the last line). So on with the random junk.

Tomorrow I have an interview. They get to ask me questions and I get to answer them and I get to waffle on about my life and how much I am going to have so much fun with my life next year. I swear. In fact I'm considering extending my project. Not sure. Don't take me at my exact word (otherwise kittens will die). I, I, I I I I IIIIIIIIIIIIwe are glad that you are following this Experience. And now here is a cat.

*meow*

And now here is an aeroplane.

*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeYOWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

And now here is me leaving.

*ka-chunk*

August 5, 2011

What an august month.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 42 + 37 + 24
"YOU CAN NOT RUN, DON'T BOTHER HIDING"

Time for one of my (in)famous posts about world events and junk like that. Trust me. There will be junk.
• England. Rowan Atkinson has had a car accident, but he's fine. Apparently he lost control of the vehicle and crashed, but was taken to hospital with only minor injuries. You may remember Atkinson from the spy-comedy Johnny English. (via mirror.co.uk)
• Still England. Rupert "Oh Shut Up We've Heard Too Much About You This Fortnight" Murdoch is in even deeper trouble after more arrests and deleted emails. Seriously, guys: HACKING IS WRONG. (via abc.net.au)
• The Phillippines. Police have been charged with abuse of power after they forced trainees to eat, and rub onto their genitals, chillies. Until uni, I always thought "hazing" was a weather effect. Clearly not. (via gulfnews.com)
• Scotland. A skydiver has survived a plunge from over 1,000m with just a broken ankle, after both her parachutes failed. A fellow skydiver reportedly gave her a lucky crystal before jumping, claiming that it helped. Yeah, how lucky can you be when your parachutes both fail?! (via smh.com.au)
• Worldwide. It's Ramadan time again for Muslims worldwide. The month of fasting from sunup to sundown in order to teach Muslims about humility and patience happens roughly this time every year, and every year I'm more impressed. (via news.myjoyonline.com)
Now back to Australia.
• Sydney. A teenager has survived a collar bomb threat after a 10-hour ordeal, during which it was determined that there was no explosive in the device. The "ransom" note was signed with the name of a fictional character. Silly extortionist: now the police will hunt down everyone who loves that book. My thoughts go out to the girl, currently studying for HSC. (via smh.com.au)
Now elsewhere again.
• Worldwide. Google+ has taken off faster than Twitter or Facebook. What is it? Facebook. What does it look like? Not Facebook. Holy shit, I'm now looking at the word "Facebook" and it looks weird. (via computerworld.com)
Sports news. Locally. Again.
• Australia. The AFL is in the spotlight again as comments about teams "tanking" - deliberately losing games to finish with end-of-season draft perks - have been made, yet again. This practice will be particularly evident this weekend, when Geelong will crush the Gold Coast 62.28.400 to 0.0.0. Seriously: RANDOMISE YOUR DRAFT PICKS. That will be the end of tanking. (via theaustralian.com.au)
Finally, weather. There will be lots of it worldwide.

Join me again soon, as I discuss the finer points of being a washed-up blogger who has run short of ideas. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

July 29, 2011

My fork is forkier than your fork.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 100 + 2
"EAT THIS, FOLKS"

You came back. That was a bad choice.

I have some statistics here that may amuse you. They are all about my life. Numbers amuse me. Numbers are my friend. Numbers rule the world because they just work and they tell people how the world works despite the fact most people think that they're arbitrary but the point is they work EVERY TIME and holy shit I need to start giving you some actual numbers.
• height: 6'3"
• weight: 71kg
• BMI: ridiculously low
• toes: 10
• fingers: 8
• thumbs: 2
• batteries: 2xAA
• age: 0L
• cards: 54
• cards needed: 64
• cheap wine: not enough
• last poker hand dealt: straight (without a flush)
• level on Borderlands: 14
• missions on Starcraft II: 24/25
• songs in iTunes library: 8,560
Next, I have a various assortment of factoids about me:
• I eat twenty packets of Mi Goreng every hour
• I own a wombat, whose name is Nivram
• I know world leaders on a first-name basis
• I hold the world record for "most pointless world records"
• I destroyed the Xel'naga race with my bare hands
• I own 10 computers
• I need a massage
Eagle-eyed readers will notice that I have lied on exactly two of those factoids. The other five factoids are true factoids. Which factoids are the true factoids, and which ones are the false factoids? Comment below. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

Finally, here is a pseudo-random assortment of cards.
• 7♥
• 8♠
• K♣
• Q♦
• 7♠
No wonder I never play poker.

July 24, 2011

Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 101
"THE BOLD, THE BEAUTIFUL, AND THE CJ"

Welcome to the sixth season of the CJ Curry Experience. If you don't know me, then you're in the wrong place. If you do know me, congratulations. Here's what I do: I blog. I blog my stream of consciousness. I blog the world as I see it. I blog your face.

I suppose I'd better start making some sense. And dollars. I'm CJ, and you're not. I'm a uni student who was shown blogspot.com at the age of 19 (the person who did that immediately regretted it). I'm fuelled by sleep deprivation, aeroplanes, and adrenaline rushes brought on by copious amounts of video games and random adventures through Narnia, the Discworld and Hogwarts. But mostly the Discworld.

I have at least one side project.

In real lifeTM I study mathematics, statistics, and computer science. I write for everything2.com. I play TBS, RTS, FPS, RPG and sport sim games. I code (but I really only speak Java with any fluency - I only know C++'s swear words). I eat copious amounts of pasta, and say and write the word "copious" copious amounts of times. There's one thing that has changed since last season, that being I now have a wombat. Yay! Finally I can play womball!

If you want to find me, I can disappear. If you want to lose me, I will stick to you like glue. If you don't want to read this post, what the hell are you doing still reading it? Idiot. All that aside, however, I either need jam, or waffles with jam and bagels on top. I'll be back.

Waitaminute. Why am I disappearing in the middle of the first post back? That's normally a trick I reserve for later on. Hm. Either way, I know I'll be just as sporadic as last season, so don't expect the finale until well into December. Though I shall try. Suggest you check back here every week or so. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

June 18, 2011

Well, that about wraps it up for another season.

the 100th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E20: THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE 100TH EPISODE SPECTACLE!

)-o-o-(
(closest thing I could get to spectacles)

Welcome to the last CJ Curry Experience for Season 5, and the last until at least the end of July. I never thought I'd reach 100 episodes, but here I am, and here it is.

MY THOUGHTS

I'm gonna say that this blog has pretty much done, and exceeded, what I wanted. I aimed to entertain, to fascinate, to confuse, and to piss you off. I've done all four. And I've also gotten something out of it for myself: I've discovered just how much I've changed in the last two-and-half years. You can see that for yourself: check out this - my first blog post - and see just how much my writing and my personality have changed.

I won't lie. I toyed with the idea of throwing this blog out the window once I hit a hundred, so I can focus on other projects I have (namely my 365 project, among others), but then I realised that I can't, really. I'll keep it going for at least up to 200 posts - that's five years worth of posts. It'll be an achievement that isn't obtainable with an Xbox. That'll do me nicely.

As is, I'll be taking another hiatus between seasons and hopefully getting the sixth season out at a faster pace than the fifth. I try to get a post done every five to six days, but this semester I've left (inadvertent) gaps of anywhere up to ten days. So, I can see I've got catching up to do.

OTHER PEOPLE'S THOUGHTS
• "When I read it, I don't know what to think" --Nicole
• "From what I've read so far, it's very witty and hilarious" -- Kristin
• "I'm a fan of random stuff... I like reading it every few weeks when I'm bored" -- Sean
• "I like blogs with a point and it seems yours has no point, but well written" -- Simon
• "Hehe =p" -- Abs
• "I don't think you've ever replied to any of my comments" -- Chris
• "I have read some entries, and I like the novelty of it" -- David
• "Impressive... short and to the point" -- Rishi
• "With the short attention span I have I often forget to look at it" -- Fiona
• "I've seen you post it, but haven't really been compelled to take a look yet" -- Josh
• "I don't really read it" -- Sarah
• "Creepy" -- Craig
A QUICK LOOK BACK

I started this blog back in March 2009 with a quip of "I can eat a Pounder burger with no negative side-effects". I haven't eaten a Pounder since. I also completely forgot to mention that I'm a gamer (though I did mention it in later episodes). I (hopefully) made people lose The Game real quick - second episode - and hopefully I just made you lose again. Fast-forward to the Ashes and the time when my gaming - and blogging - really kicked off, and I started making a name for myself throughout the college. I now have a readership that includes the US, the UK, China, Denmark, New Zealand, Slovenia, and Russia, among others. Not bad for an Australian blog! As of writing I have over 1,500 hits. Thanks to each and every one of those 1,500, including the 1,499 that were from me. Also thanks for the 31 comments (including my own 9 comments) and for the 1 endorsement (which of course was all me).

HUNDREDTH PIECE OF RANDOM SHIT

anarchy.

NEWS AND STUFF

Global news: a huge step has been taken by the UN to recognise the rights of LGBT people - finally, they have recognised that LGBT people are actually people and have voted that discrimination against them is bad. In other developments, Antarctica has been discovered to be really freakin' cold.

Regional news: the volcano in Chile is recovering from its hangover and is spewing out hot ash less. Good news for air traffic control. Bad news for volcano hunters. In other developments, New Plymouth in New Zealand has been ripped to shreds by two tornadoes. Apparently nobody's been hurt, so it seems like all's well.

National news: our Prime Minister Julia "Ranga" Gillard is being compared pretty much nonstop with our ex-Prime Minister Kevin "07" Rudd, whom Gillard ousted one year ago. Ms Gillard's approval ratings are pretty damn low right now, and honestly I can't see much good coming out of this. For anyone. (Except maybe our non-Prime Minister, Tony "Budgie-Smuggler" Abbott.)

Local news: a man has died trying to save a 10-year-old girl, presumably his daughter, from a house fire on the Mornington Peninsula. Unfortunately, both man and daughter died at the scene.

College news: exam time! How are you lot all faring? I'm one down, three to go; this actually marks another historic occasion for the Experience because this is the first time I've ever written an Experience during a semester exam period. But enough of that.

Sport news: State Of Origin III will happen and it'll be damned important to New South Welsh and Queenslanders alike. But I don't give a tinker's toss. I'm outta here.

100TH EPISODE PRESENT
 CCCCC    C    C     CCCCJJJJJ   J    J J  J  J    CCCCC    C    C     CCCCU   UU   UU   UU   UUUURRRR R   RRRRR R  R R   RRRRR R   RRRRR R  R R   RY   YY Y Y Y  Y    ^..^/ OO \|)::(|\::::/w  w

And finally: SEE YOU NEXT SEMESTER!

join the experience again... maybe in August

June 13, 2011

Your FACE is a beanbag chair.

the 99th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E19: WE'RE GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S NOT FUCKING 1999 ANY MORE! WOOT 2011!

So it's nearly a hundred episodes. Nearly. But not. Seriously, can't you tell the difference between 99 and 100? You stupid monkeys. 99 is when you add 66 and 33 and 100 is when you multiply 50 and 2. But anyway. I've got something planned for Episode 100 (yeah, that's an outright lie) so I'll wrap up this series unofficially here. Goodbye.

Or maybe I'll wrap it up unofficially at the end of the post. Al-fucking-right, here you go then.
• 2011 started out with summer, like every year does. But summer failed us, so we looked at autumn instead. Autumn is a really nice word. It's part of my suburb's name: Autumn Hills. (yeah, that's another outright lie) If you go stealing the name "Autumn Hills" I will mash you. I'm serious here.
• Spent most of January in and out of Fundoora and the Rat, going between duty and cricket; between cheese and cats; between aeroplanes and nothing. So there's not much to report except for a mashed left thumb (courtesy of a leap of faith).
• The hot tub. Rach, Em and Mike have stumbled across a goldmine here. Much fun has been had in the hot tub since January, and much fun will be had sooner or later. By the way, we had cheese and crackers and wine in that hot tub, it wasn't all just unsophisticated student parties (yeah, that's also an outright lie).
• Oh yeah, I stayed in Menzies College for a week. I don't think I'm properly cleansed yet, either. Next goal: Glenn College.
• February was where things really kicked off. I allegedly became sillier (yeah, I wish that was an outright lie) and I definitely helped kick off uni for a handful of dozens of pairs of groups of students. And I was never pulled into a pit of mud. Only pushed.
• Team Slightly Grey - if you're reading this, we all know who the real winners of that day were.
• March marched onwards. As it tends to do. I zombiefied myself for the fifth time. I took a Frisbee square in the teeth. (Unfortunately they weren't the teeth I'm removing in a few weeks' time.) And I lost my voice. As well as started uni, ofc.
• Kirsten took the most annoying photo of me, ever. But that's OK. I've counterbalanced it with the best photo of me, ever. It's my Facebook profile pic. If you don't know my Facebook by now, you are a stalker and you must fuck off. Everybody fucked off? Good. Move on.
• In April, chocolate came.
• I buggered off to SXSE for a week. (That's abbreviation-speak for "south by south east".) Which is quite literally what the independent island nation of Tasmania is (yeah, that last bit was an outright lie).
• I picked up a new toy. The new toy was merely an upgrade. But hell if it's not a really COOL upgrade. Besides, the upgrade will become more useful as we progress.
• I temporarily turned into the Stig Grand High Super Top Head Vice Ultra Mega Happy Democrator ALOYSIUS J. SNOTTENHEIMER, Ph. D., supreme dictator of the Democratic Republican Empire of Curry (or Curryland for short), of which Autumn Hills is a suburb. You may, of course, address me as "Hey you".
• I picked up a zombie laptop and killed it again within some 30 hours. Piss eggs. Also the Fist returned. Dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnn... And speaking of fists:
• May saw me seeing Lights And Music, the same way that January saw me seeing a Wildcat. We added about fifty pages to the college cookbook - all of them blank - and I sang about The Truth (yeah, none of those were outright lies).
• We held a ball. (Write your own jokes.) I wish I could have gone in a Tanooki suit - I'm seriously considering one of those next time around.
• I planked. (yeah, that's almost an outright lie)
• And now we're in June. I'm not going to tell you anything about June, because quite frankly, I'm a stuck-up pretentious wanker who thinks that my blogs are popular worldwide (yeah, that's an outright lie). It's fucking cold. I'm fucking cold.
See you soon. One to go.

join the experience again soon...

June 6, 2011

Pages and pages and pages...

the 98th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E18: A LOOK BACK WITHOUT ERNEST

It's nearly hundredth post time. I never thought I'd even reach ten posts, let alone thirty-seven, let alone forty-two, let alone sixty-nine, let alone seventy-one, let alone ninety-seven, let alone ninety-eight, let alone a hundred. So I'm looking back at my previous posts and commenting on them:
1. I'm still a maths student.
2. People deserved to know a lot about me. But then again, they didn't want to. Either way, loyal readers (if they exist) got the info they didn't need.
3. I don't really live with a bunch of people any more - just two - but I still like the word 'bunch'.
4. Java rules. C++ drools.
5. I (obviously) got my capslock key back.
6. Psytrance is cool. Your argument is invalid.
7. I met my tall, dark stranger. Turns out s/he wasn't gay.
8. Apparently, it's still raining. I like rain.
9. This was probably my best story ever. And it was based almost entirely off a game. What does that say about me?
10. Yolk's on you.
11. Enough of your pancakes. Enough.
12. I'm planning another survey soon. Hopefully other people will take part.
13. Welcome to winter. Again.
14. ...yeah, that mindfuck hasn't been proven to work. But it was worth a shot.
15. Arbitrary. I still like that word.
16. I'm still yet to try polyphasic sleep. Thanks to my schedule, it'll probably never happen. Not unless I decide to go part-time, and even then...
17. I'm over bicycles. I prefer aeroplanes.
18. 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, I am prime.
19. Music is what feelings sound like.
20. First Zombie Shuffle was followed closely by my second Zombie Shuffle. Still waiting on the third.
21. Very little has changed. Except my age. I'm not a thousand and one. I'm a hundred and ten.
22. My playlist has expanded by seven songs. I may not post them. You may not care.
23. I still like fucking with people's minds.
24. I'm seeing fewer and fewer 21sts, since I passed mine.
25. I still like trolling YouTube. Haven't been doing it much lately though.
26. Super happy fun time.
27. Man, I must have been LOOPY back then.
28. I retconned the "making-of". Then again, I retcon most of my life.
29. A better way to blog.
30. Food is always good.
31. iStillHate 2.0
32. Backspace keys are pretty damned important.
33. My first post as a mentor. Win.
34. I need to join the Dead Poets' Society.
35. SYNÆSTHESIA
36. "Don't break" nearly took off. Shame it didn't.
37. I'll leave this one alone.
38. In verses <3
39. Heat and humidity kinda didn't come this summer.
40. If I thought I was in over my head in October 2009, I had another thing coming.
41. "Curry Sanfrancisco"? Jeez, CJ, you're TERRIBLE at satire.
42. "Season 3 will be intermittent or cut short". Season 5 has been worse.
43. Oh yeah, that interview. I failed it.
44. I can just as easily go through a random list of my favourite tunes and see 20 different ones pop up.
45. I also believe in "get cape, wear cape, fly".
46. Music is win.
47. This was before "Your Love" by The Aston Shuffle was released. Plagiarists!
48. Snowed under right now.
49. It's still time for milking.
50. Those three things still shake me. Good luck finding them.
51. Well done Joan for winning the last Curry Sanfrancisco competition.
52. I still maintain Beethoven should still be alive.
53. Oh god, don't get me started on censorship in Australia. Draconian much?
54. I ate that chocolate pie.
55. My project is still on indefinite hiatus, but it still exists. I've got about a hundred unfinished projects.
56. Good to see I have you a genesis story.
57. I memetically sealed my blog after that incident.
58. I need to do another Engrish post.
59. I'll tackle Ruby and maybe Haskell. They sound fun. And I'm still non-plussed.
60. It was so much fun writing that post. You have no idea.
61. People thought that Season 3 was a metaphor for how I was feeling trapped within the college. Nothing could be further from the truth.
62. I'm wearing noticeably more colour lately.
63. I haven't put many signs up. This year it's just been "USE YOUR CJ" - in-joke - the Free Speech Flag saying "colourless green ideas sleep furiously", and my drawing saying "fortune favours the persnickety".
64. Only XIII paragraphs? I'm slipping.
65. I was a busy busy boy back then.
66. I got my post! And I've kept it until now. So far so good!
67. I still sleep restlessly.
68. Barbara Streisand is still hot stuff.
69. I'm not touching this one either.
70. Topic 2 is still relevant. I didn't have a 21st. I was ultra ultra busy being run off my feet.
71. Waiting on Mario Kart 3D to come out.
72. I like the word "also".
73. Idealistic much?
74. Oh god that video was the best thing I ever created.
75. I have weird music obsessions. Mark Ronson <3
76. How do you feel / about being lonely, said one to the other.
77. Grungy house is still the bane of my existence.
78. Don't think I'll be wearing a bag on my head much.
79. Still love Pistolwhip.
80. "Use your CJ" - Amy Lee
81. Clearly the start of a paradigm shift.
82. Clearly I liked Timebomb at that point.
83. Double words!
84. I like aeroplanes too much.
85. I'm still about half-ruled by those things. I should do another one of those posts.
86. Someone remarked that the paradigm shift was a sign that my blogs were becoming negative - that is, that my state of mind at the time fucked them over. Maybe. Maybe.
87. My writing again.
88. I have a 3DS, but I'm not touching the iPad.
89. I took that test myself. I'm a Hotly Mild Curry.
90. Short blog. Again, part of the paradigm shift. (I clearly love the word "paradigm".)
91. Slightly vintage Curry.
92. I still love Coma Cat. Seriously.
93. Tasmania was beautiful. If you get the chance, go. I wouldn't live there, but it's still beautiful.
94. I liked that post.
95. NOT vintage Curry.
96. I was most proud of the first paragraph.
97. DAMN it took me ages to compile those lists.
Two to go this season. Catch ya.

join the experience again soon...

May 28, 2011

Hi. You're ugly.

the 97th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E17: ENNIO MORRICONE TRIBUTE EXPERIENCE

In the lead-up to the 100th Experience I notice that I've only ever looked back on one semester (season of Experiences). Ergo I've decided to look back on my whole blogging experience and present THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, 2009-2011.
• MUSIC VIDEOS
• Good: Gumball Machine Weekend - Yppah (2009)
• Bad: Friday - Rebecca Black (2011)
• Ugly: A Cold Freezin' Night - The Books (2010)
• POLITICS
• Good: Obama announces Osama's death (2011)
• Bad: Osama is killed (2011)
• Ugly: Kevin Rudd's back hurts Julia Gillard's knife (2010)
• MEMES
• Good: Insane Clown Posse - "Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?" (2010)
• Bad: Kanye West - "Yo, I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but I started the best meme of all time! OF ALL TIME!" (2009)
• Ugly: Susan Boyle (2009)
• VIDEO GAMES
• Good: Wii Sports Resort (2009) (oh come on it's not that bad)
• Bad: Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2010) (I give the game 7/10 but Nintendo 3/10)
• Ugly: Kinect (2010) (trying too hard to jump on the family game bandwagon)
• EVENTS IN MY LIFE
• Good: October 23, 2010
• Ugly: November 12, 2010
• SPORTING EVENTS
• Good: Spain winning the World Cup (2010)
• Bad: Australia losing the Ashes (twice) (2009-2011)
• Ugly: any given scrap within the AFL, NRL or in the Australian synchronised swimming team (2009-2011)
• SUBJECTS AT UNI
• Good: MAT1CNS (2009)
• Ugly: CSE1CPP (2009)
• COLLEGE EVENTS
• Good: Scribble Party (2009/10)
• Bad: pub crawl City Tour (2010)
• Ugly: none
• CJ CURRY EXPERIENCES
• Ugly: Episode 97 (2011)
• WEATHER EVENTS
• Good: La Niña (2011)
• Ugly: Black Saturday (2009)
• PEOPLE
• Good: Santa Claus (2009-2011)
• Ugly: me (2009-2011)
My plans: ep. 98 will be a look back at postage stamps from 2009-2011 (bad), ep. 99 will be a critical review of the latest gaming console (good) and ep. 100 will be just plain ugly. Also, look out for an E3 post. Probably ep. 99.

And now I shall retire for the day. I've already taken up all of your ugly-time for the day. Excuse me.

join the experience again soon...

May 22, 2011

What is this? I don't even...

the 96th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E16: AREN'T YOU A LITTLE SHORT FOR CJ?

Tell me to stop, before I get to the mega-epic-100th episode special.

Today I have played Pachinko with a Diamondback, some Camels, and a Nightstalker. I had The Vision to Shout "We Will Survive" and dodge a Pistolwhip, and regained my Composure with a Fire Wire cable. I'm kinda Over Emotion, so if you ask me to Feel The Drums, I Can Only Disappoint You. I also discovered that you have a Fixation on Flesh. I also met a drugged-up alien - a.k.a. a Spaced Invader - who thinks that this is a Strange World. Yay!

i got what you want, boy

I am not blinded by your moxie. I am not impressed with your chutzpah. I am not amazed by your use of different and unusual words. You're not a nice person. Neither am I. But I suppose you're nicer than I am. In a sense.

I have been asked if I'd consider making FORTRAN and C my bitches. Given the hideous failure to make C++ my bitch and the hideous success making Java my bitch, I think I'll pass and wait until I can find a decent C# book. Also, while I'm at it, buy my book. And speaking of which, the CJ Curry Experience is still taking donations for interesting parties... I mean, from interested parties. Send the donations in the usual way: put the cash (no money orders or cheques) in a padded envelope, addressed to fe80::e916:43e8:230b:3dc5 (or, if you prefer, 2002:83ac:507e:f:e916:43e8:230b:3dc5). Throw it into the sun, and watch the fireworks (they will rain down on my house automagically).

i got what you want

Brazil. It's a nice country. Also a nice song. But that's all I know about Brazil.

And now I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that there is no good news. The good news is that's all the bad news I have. (Also that there's pie afterwards.)

RIP phone. You were as much of a second-hand phone as I expected you to be. But I'm not mourning, as it is after noon. I enjoyed your company. Later, phone!

and you ain't gonna get it

My other project is slowly garnering more and more hits. Please be one of them. Bye!

join the experience again soon...

May 14, 2011

the 95th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E15: JUST BECAUSE I EAT FOOD, DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN DISCRIMINATE AGAINST ME!

It'd be just my luck, wouldn't it? I finally (after ten days) get around to writing another Experience and Blogger is down for maintenance. Means I also couldn't update this for a while. I was not a happy chappy yesterday. Now I'm a sick happy chappy. But on with the blog. Your mindless bullshit is all the same to me anyway.

I've written a lot of things you're currently wishing you hadn't read. But that was your fault and yours alone. UNTIL NOW! The CJ Curry Experience now comes with a free, once-in-a-lifetime offer that is free and guaranteed to be your favourite free thing in all of freedom. It's a MINDFUCK WARRANTY! I'm providing free mindfuck warranties: that is, I'll fully reimburse you for any mindfuck you have while you read this (normal value \$4,993.52). This offer of a free mindfuck warranty will last until the end of this paragraph.

Owls. Everyone is fond of owls.
Cheds. Everyone is fond of Cheds.
Portal 2. Everyone is fond of Portal 2.
Politicians. Everyone is fond of hating politicians.

I have my reasons for wanting to stay invisible. Please respect these wishes. Because I'm kickass, but not *that* kickass. Yet. And I don't like being visible during these times. I'm sure you'll understand. ...wait, what? I'm not invisible? Damn. Oh well, OK then, I'm only partially, temporarily and sporadically pseudo-invisible. BUT I STILL HAVE RIGHTS.

There has been no zombiefication this month. I'm sad. But I soon will be my zombie self, according to the MZS organisers. Oo, zombies. And pretty soon we'll all know who's out and who's in and we'll be slurping vit C tablets through straws until we cry for mercy and beat ourselves over the heads with USB flash drives. Savvy?

Funny how my peak productivity always hits its peak at about 2am. I wrote most of this blog in ten minutes flat last night and now that it's not longer last night and it's this afternoon I'm lost for words. I better get them down PDQ because we're very busy in the world of CJ Curry. Also, I totally nearly wrote "busty" instead of "busy". Wouldn't that be a helluva sight, though? Busty CJ Curry. I blame it on the proximity of the T and Y keys. There's always a problem whenever I write something and it turns out two keys next to each other transform the whole word OH SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Also, cook for me. And halfadozen others. And you will be awesome. Because we are buying your ingredients and you are cooking. There has already been one winner. Cook whatever you want, except don't cook me. Also also if you're reading this blog then this sentence is a non-sequitur.

Bottle of water. Bottle of water. Bottle of water. COOL.

Speaking of cool, it's time to take my car out for a wash, spin and rinse. Wagner's rinse cycle should suffice. Suffer ice? Maybe...

join the experience again soon...

May 3, 2011

I looked at your bandannas, and thought of you.

the 94th experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E14: TASMANIA CURRY! PART DEUX!

...sox bigger than a bread box I told my pink volcano, who was wearing my two-litre, five-speed octopus... WHAT? Oh yeah. Good. Time for me to stop stealing content and try writing my own.

I'm sitting here pondering my recent trip to Tasmanialand over a slice of chocolate pie. Nom. And I promised a report on the beautiful Mastania... so here it is. It was beautiful. The end.

I suppose I'd better fire off a better report. I visited Hobart, Launceston, Devonport, and a few others. And I became a person in an interesting position of having visited Hobart, Perth and Melbourne all within eight hours. Challenge accepted? I'd like to see the west coast a little more next time, and Cradle Mountain (I like cradles. Especially the cat's cradle), but otherwise I did enjoy my international trip.

Best place: Cataract Gorge in Launceston. Loved the way it crosses nature with the city. Major tourist attraction much? Loved the beauty, loved the wonder, loved the walking tracks that I haven't yet been on. Good incentive to go back.

Also best place: Binalong Bay. I haven't seen snow that white since Snow White. ...or, rather, sand. I haven't seen sand that white since Cable Beach in Broome. Mind you, the white sand at Cable Beach swept me off my feet...

Also also best place: Salamanca Place's market. Small-time compared to the Queen Victoria Market, but still quaint and fun to shop for bargains. Found some souvenirs for my folks, as well as a poster for me that will stop me explaining to every single foreigner/non-cricket-fan that cricket is NOTHING LIKE BASEBALL.

Also also also best place: Monster Cookie Café. They do deep fried Mars Bars!

Also also also also best place: Queen's Head in Hobart. I loved the band they had: "Lively Up!" Obviously influenced by Bob Marley, they did reggae and funk and everything except Dreadlock Holiday. :( Didn't matter much, because I sang it afterwards to myself. I don't like cricket, oh no, I love it...

Also also also also also best place: Ross. It's a quaint little tourist trap, and I liked it. I went on the advice of Daddy Curry, and was advised to visit the bakery. Two bakeries in Ross, and I got the wrong one... Still, eh?

Also also also also also also best place: Exeter bakery. Again, a quaint little town. Not a tourist trap. And they served a nice spinach roll.

Also also also also also also also best place: home. There's no place like it, even if you're on holiday.

So what's my verdict? Compared to Victoria, Tasmania is greener, hillier, colder, smaller, and quainter. Or quirkier, whichever you prefer. It's not a different country, but it's different country. Also, I found no two-headed people. Maybe they were hiding...

join the experience again soon...

April 25, 2011

Land of the great known.

the 93rd experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E13: TASMANIA CURRY! PART 1!

This is a special report from special reporter CJ Curry, your Tasmanian correspondent. In Tasmania. I've been sent to investigate the serious allegation that Tasmania is not, in fact, part of Australia, but a different country. Here's what I've uncovered.

For those who don't know, Tasmania is an island off the south coast of Australia. It was founded by the Dutch, called Van Diemen's Land for a while, then largely ignored until it became a penal colony. It's still largely ignored, mostly by under-zealous mapmakers and globe manufacturers.

I've been invited here by someone largely acknowledged as the most interesting mistake I ever made. So I'm spending six days here, from today until Saturday. I shall report my findings fully next weekend. It's for this reason (and for reasons of wood) that I haven't written a blog in ten days. But the wood is mostly harmless.

I haven't been drunk yet. I have been driven mad. I've travelled along the West Tamar and the East Tamar and the Midlands and I can't tell the difference. I'm also astounded at the small amount of heads on each Tasmanian resident.

What's Tasmania like? Compared to Victoria, it's greener, smaller, hillier, and with less aeroplanes. But it's beautiful, so far.

I'm about to be whisked off my feet again, probably to scoot off somewhere else in Tassie. Relax, have some pancakes, and I'll be back soon to report on my findinHURK

join the experience again soon...

April 15, 2011

My finest dream?

the 92nd experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E12: WE FEEL VERY GOOD, THANKS!

So here's the semi-infamous Thirty Day Song Challenge, all done within one hour. With my comments, and compliments.
1. Your favourite song: Coma Cat - Tensnake
Coma Cat is most definitely a summer song. I love summer. And I love summer songs. So I naturally love Coma Cat. It also brings to mind visions of Wii Sports Resort, oddly enough.
2. Your least favourite song: Mister Brightside - The Killers
Don't go there.
3. A song that makes you happy: Every Day, Every Moment, Every Time - Agnelli & Nelson
It's been making me happy since New Year's Eve 2007. Had it stuck in my head as I scooted off to my mate's place for my first "proper" New Year's party.
4. A song that makes you sad: Sacrifice (Pocket 808 version) - Rainbows Of Death
Never fails. Ever since late last year, when I first heard it on a rainy night. A rainy Melbourne night, come to that. Beautiful song.
5. A song that reminds you of someone: Shooting Stars - Bag Raiders ft. Rhys
It's kinda hard to forget.
6. A song that reminds you of somewhere: Alone - Tennishero ft. Chelonis R. Jones
Love it. Reminds me of Coffin Bay. Went there on a trip in early 2007 and pretty much had a really nice time.
7. A song that reminds you of a certain event: She Says (Wahoo rmx) - Milke
Similar.
8. A song that you know all the words to: Paradise - Sam La More
Coulda gone with a whole bunch, but I went for the one that was the easiest and freshest in my head. I'd like to perform this one, somehow.
9. A song that you can dance to: I Wanna See You - The Aston Shuffle
Hell, pretty much ANYTHING by The Aston Shuffle.
10. A song that makes you fall asleep: En Attendant Cousteau - Jean-Michel Jarre
If it's soft and 45' long, I'll listen to it until I sleep. Ambient music FTW.
11. A song from your favourite band: We Fight For Diamonds - Cut Copy
I doubt they'll be playing it at the concert I'll be attending soon. It's about 1' long and is pretty much filler.
12. A song from a band you hate: anything by Nickelback
Seriously. He sounds like a MOOSE.
13. A song that is a guilty pleasure: American Girls - John B
There's a few of those. I picked perhaps the most risqué one.
14. A song that no-one would expect you to like: Bear Witness - Dr. Octagon
Two reasons. As a friend says, it's "too black" for me; also, it has the line "I create rap music 'cause I never dug disco". Another friend accepted that I do like some decent songs, based on that one song.
15. A song that describes you: I Am Not A Robot - Marina And The Diamonds
Also could be Animal by Miike Snow. But this'll do nicely. It's a more accurate description, save one line.
16. A song that you used to love but now hate: Don't Hold Back - The Potbelleez
This song and I have had an awkward relationship: I hated it, then loved it, now hate again. I hated it because it was everywhere. I loved it because it was played at the most important time. Now I hate it because... it's everywhere.
17. A song you hear often on the radio: The Face Of The Planet - The Subs
An amazing song, too.
18. A song you wish you heard on the radio: Crave You - Flight Facilities ft. Giselle
It used to be on a whole bunch. And I really enjoyed it. Now, it's kinda faded into the background a little.
19. A song from your favourite album: Arpeggio - Jackson And His Computer Band
From Destroy. It's a song that sends me to my place, believe it or not.
20. A song you listen to when you're angry: Wobble (Stumped Up rmx) - Aphrodite
As you do. DnB is very useful for anger. Makes me calmer (believe it or not) - probably because of the hypnotic beat.
21. A song you listen to when you're happy: Burial - Miike Snow
Burial = spring 2009. Spring 2009 memories = happy CJ.
22. A song you listen to when you're sad: Love On A Real Train - Tangerine Dream
Works well with this. Trust me. And never trust anyone who says "trust me".
23. A song you want to play at your wedding: Stereo Love - Edward Maya ft. Vika Jigulina
I never really had much of an answer for this song. But this'll do - it seems appropriate.
24. A song you want to play at your funeral: Feeling Oblivion - Turin Brakes
Not that I'll be there to appreciate it.
25. A song that makes you laugh: Fix Your Accent - Fake Blood
Every time. Every single time.
26. A song that you can play on an instrument: Cavatina - John Williams
I can play this one on the piano. It's supposed to be a guitar song (I hear) but I'm happy with a piano.
27. A song that you wish you could play: The Truth (High Highs rmx) - Pnau
It seems easy enough. Now I need to play it by ear. Seems like it's only a handful of chords.
28. A song that makes you feel guilty: Air Traffic (ATC Chill mix) - Three Drives (On A Vinyl)
I don't know whether their full name is Three Drives or Three Drives On A Vinyl. I'll go with the parentheses and leave it at that.
29. A song from your childhood: Don't Cry - Human Nature
Whenever I heard this, late at night, I felt... lonely without being alone. I didn't know what the feeling was back then. I love that feeling now.
30. Your favourite song this time last year (April 2010): Escape Me - Tiësto ft. C.C. Sheffield
It's still an awesome song.
And on a final note: try the song Some Polyphony - Petter. You deserve it.

join the experience again soon...

April 11, 2011

the 91st experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E11: PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT. CHEATER.

Shazam! Today we has a guest writer, who calls herself Fred. And here she is:

---

I can't write anything for this blog, I'm not weird enough. I'm not a nerd. I don't know many internet memes, and I don't eat pounds of pasta... so if you like this blog you probably won't like me.

---

Cool story, bro. And now I am about to use an obscene word in this blog, so please stop listening for a moment:

"Arse."

So what's happening in my life? I've transmogrified into a six-ton African bull elephant, stabbed myself in the head with a pair of feathers, eaten a refrigerator whole, talked turkey with a chicken and chickened out of a turkey fight (yeah, I'm a turkey. Fowl joke), and found the meaning of the word "cathartic". I've also scored twenty points in life.

My friend is a cat. Your argument is invalid.

My camera never lies. Wait, what? You didn't know about my camera? Well, sit down. Have a marshmallow. Let me explain. About fourteen years ago, my friends decided they wanted me to look stupid in front of a billboard. As a result, I'm now taking a photo every day. Or something like that.

vector?

blü vector?

wat

unreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal!

Cool story bro. And now it's time for me to feed my pet crow. I suggest you all do the same. If you don't have a pet crow, then you either have an itch, or you just lost The Game.

join the experience again soon...