August 26, 2013

It always starts the same. Nearly.

EPISODE 185: OLIVES!

So, let me fill you in on a bit of outside world information. News level: Ron Burgundy.

We start with a one-metre radius of my current sitting position. The news is: my packet of peanuts is nearly half-empty. But it's still more than half full. AND I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT GOD DAMN CHEESEBURGER!

We extend to 10 metres. My clock is still working.

Now, 100 metres. There's roadworks happening and there's expected to be delays for about four months, one of which is practically over.

Now, 1,000 metres. I think the trams are back up and running on Route 86.

Now, 10,000 metres. Open Day was a success! Yet again, I sacrificed my leggies for the cause of bringing le students to le campus and touring them around and making new friends and being energetic and catgrooving and making people be impressed and... I wanna stay at uni, because Open Days and tours and move-in days make me tick.

Now, 100,000 metres. A guy I know made an app (with a few other guys, natch) - check it out. iOS compatible, Android on its way. Cheers guys. I really do like the idea - though I don't have an iOS device that supports it right now. Waiting on le Androidness.

Now, 1,000,000 metres. I am seriously hoping that the Nielsen polls are wrong because THAT MAN ABBOTT cannot be Prime Minister. His party, maybe - couldn't give a shit, they're all the fuckin' same. But if Abbott gets in, as a country we're boned. And not in a good way.

Now, 10,000,000 metres. Just... just fuck you, guys. You five guys involved in the incident in India that I'm not even going to name. Fuck you all. And not in the good way.

Now, 100,000,000 metres. Hey, uh, that's... that's the whole world, basically. Um... what happened in the world today?

A few hundred thousand people gave birth. A few thousand people's lives were saved. Some people made some really good choices and made some new friends. At least one took a huge risk and lucked out (that is, the good version of lucked out). Good on you, whoever you are.

As for me...

...I ate some peanuts.

No comments:

There was an error in this gadget
CC BY Australia. Some rights reserved. Powered by Blogger.