April 26, 2012

My old friend...

you must join me.


experiment begins

subject appears to have difficulty with inspiration. he sets his eyes on the two empty gacha boxes lying next to him. he thinks, but does not appear to be inspired. he pops the gacha boxes open, and closes them again.

subject now stares at the rubbish on his desk. casually picks it up, throws it in the bin, and writes a little more.

subject is struggling for inspiration again.

subject appears to hear a vibrating sound, as of a mobile phone receiving a text message. he checks his phone but it has no messages.

turns on some music for inspiration. gets nowhere.

suddenly, subject has an idea. he begins typing away furiously at his keyboard, slowly translating thoughts into words and conveying them through the digital void. his idea does not appear to have arisen, however.

vitals are normal. pulse is fine, breathing is relaxed but slightly quickened, beginning to get a little dizzy perhaps.

takes a drink, and decides to retroactively change every instance of the word "participant" in this report to the much more scientific-sounding "subject".

finishes this little task.

subject appears to have lost inspiration again. swears loudly. wishes out loud that something exciting would happen. mumbles something about velociraptors.

throws one gacha box across the room to generate excitement. the gacha box shatters.

disposes of the remains of the gacha box.

subject is clearly agitated at lack of inspiration. buries face in hands more than once.


changes song. resumes writing.

adjusts chair. subject is clearly annoyed with himself.

subject says, audibly and loudly: "I'm just gonna give a big shout out to all my friends here..." but stops without elaborating. subject is still agitated.

throws out more rubbish. returns to keyboard shortly after.

subject is eaten by a wild velociraptor. experiment ends.

April 18, 2012

I have no tomatoes!

set your foot down.


Apparently I use the words "ain't", "weren't" and "innit" now. I also use the words "bizarre", "eclectic", and "Thursday". Is this a deficiency? No. It is caffeine. Juicy juicy caffeine NEEEEEN. (also I have the fangirliest fangirl squeals evar and I also have the clock and the white lion and aaaaaaall the Angry Birds (except the toucan because the toucan is crap and does not do anything productive (but it did get me a piece of fruit once in Angry Birds Rio (and I really need to stop overusing these brackets (but they look kinda cool when you combine them with Polish notation (because Polish notation with brackets is just LISP (holy fuck this is the seventh layer of brackets))))))).

If you are new to this blog (as some people are) then you need to realise that it is full of randomness, non-sequiturs and logical fallacies. And, for that matter, logical phalluses. But no matter, for I am blogging whilst wearing a pinstripe zootsuit that is coloured pink with purple polka dots.

Take THAT.

three are white and one is red

I see an aeroplane! Ha, it's been a while. But that aeroplane better not try to cross me, otherwise I will bring down fifty megatons of ultradeath on its shiny metallic arse. If it has a metallic arse. I think it's actually made of silk. Or rice bubbles. Who knows.

I just want to interrupt you for a moment:
Thank you. Carry on.

I have a cookie. But YTMND says PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN NOW!

blaaaaaaaah. I want food.

save my life
save my life
save my life
save my life

Finally today, I wish to show you a small blank space.

Carry on.

April 11, 2012

Time for a special brew!

enter the matrix.


You are the reason why
one foot goes down
at the right time, tonight
and I'm telling you
all these things will follow you.
I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw
and time don't matter
so let it slide.
It's our future.
I'll show you light,
let's build a nation.
Say you will
feel love before it's gone.
tout est bleu dan tes yeux
and I still love you.
This could be real
because that's what I want to hear,
find me inside every heartbeat
and draw me to the beat
with every heartbeat.
See the stones set in your eyes
and do the two-step all night,
tonight is dying on its own
and there's no stopping us
and all I'm thinking of is you,
I love your precious heart.
I believe it's magic.
Do you see my face?
What do you feel?
My story stops here,
and we must remember:

April 2, 2012

Who is the more foolish? The fool, or the reader?

expect me.


Sunday was April Fools day. I intend to prove that I am not a fool, so I say BAH.

To celebrate the arrival of autumn, I hereby declare this a writing session. Behold!

and so, we turn from summer to autumn. as is inevitably the case, the sun starts moving away from us. temperatures drop. it becomes dry. leaves turn to brown and fall off the trees. the whole region prepares itself for a chill.

i'm lying down on the lawn in front of the lecture theatre. i'm waiting, casually checking my watch every so often. first, every twenty minutes. then, every ten. then, every two. it is clear that i'm there for a reason. but it's not clear what that reason is. not yet.

before i'm ready, the door opens. they all pour out of the theatre. like beans from a beanbag. i scan the people carefully, looking for...

"...up to now?" "I'm hungry, I'm going to..."
"...most boring lecture so far." "I know, I'm getting sick of him..."
"...need some sleep." "OK. I guess I'll see...
"...for the weekend?" "Nah, not yet." "Feel like coming to..."
"...soooo annoying! He turned around three times during..."

...but what i'm searching for still isn't there. i'm not looking for a girl. i'm not looking for a friend.

i pack up my stuff, move away, and establish a base outside a theatre across campus. it's getting a bit chillier. the clock tells me i have fifty-five minutes to wait. and so i wait, and i wait patiently.

because finding my lost motivation amongst a sea of cynicism and stone-faced, monotoned first-years already defeated by university a month and a half into the course is not impossible. all it takes is time.

at my new base, i settle down. grab a can of cream soda from my backpack, put my earbuds in my ear, take out a pop science book, and begin to read it. i'm comfortable. and suddenly, just before i check my watch, someone makes an offhand remark...

"...think I might overload next semester." "Isn't that a lot of work?" "Yeah, but it's immensely satisfying at the end. I love biology, I always get a buzz out of it." "So, you're going to get a bigger buzz next semester, but you'll be too overworked to appreciate it." "Yep." "...You're crazy." "Yeah, but I love uni." "You're SO..."

snap. my time is no longer needed here.

i pack up, basking in the sunlight, and head home to write about what i just heard.

You people are foolish. Buh-bye for now!
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