March 25, 2010

Let it rain. No, wait. Let it be normal.

Hi. I'm CJ. And I am the alias of Ocean Bird.


So, yeah. I been busy. And it's pranking season again! Wahoo! However, I am snowed under. Very snowed under. I'm so snowed under it's like a blizzard in here. In fact, it is winter here in Curryland and a blizzard is imminent. So I might be attacked by random pockets of white noise.

For example, here comes some snow right no

and the bartender says "Is this some kind of joke?"

People wonder why I call myself Ocean Bird at times. Well,

                    the name "Ocean Bird" comes from. It's not an official nick

      @stratocrash. He's a pretty

                                                             NDS, Wii, and PC. I think.

So currently I am                            and                               to try and                     the blizzard. I honestly prefer                                                 but needs must as             drives.

Stupid f   ing blizzard. I'm         frostbitten.

Curryland                  with their nearest


Still, you've got to laugh.

L  er


This has been a CJ Curry presentation for CJ Curry Enterprises, Inc. Don't forget to enter the "Where In The World Is Curry Sanfrancisco?" competition. Last post's winner was Mr. Terrence Simpson, of 32 Curry Street, Curryland. For correctly saying that I broadcasted Ep47 from the DVD slot of a disused television set in the rubbish tip, Terrence wins a tracksuit, beanbag, and noodle set. That'll keep Terry occupied for a week or two! The prize for Ep48 is: a park bench that has been certified as termite and woodworm free. You don't have long until next post!

March 18, 2010

This time, things will be different.

Hi. I'm CJ. And I am the anthropomorphic personification of your doom.


Incidentally, it's interesting to note that there is, so far, no de-Engrishifier that is easy to find. Disappoint!

This is my bedroom, as of right now.

  • three half-finished trays of Arnott's assorted biscuits
  • one-third of a bottle of Fruit Cup cordial
  • one-third of a bottle of water
  • three apples
  • five bananas
  • half a bottle of cranberry vodka
  • empty bottle of portello (on top)
  • Macbook (on top)
  • your love
MY DESK (on top of)
  • laptop bag containing calculator, NDS, pens, two diaries, textbooks and notebooks
  • non-working printer
  • card reader
  • two USB sticks
  • three notebooks for personal use
  • a small but nonetheless reasonably impressive stack of paper - some blank, some not
  • training manuals for sessions that took place last month
  • mouse and keyboard
  • VGA, USB2 and power cables
  • three USB hard drives
  • card advertising the library from my university
  • bag containing a paper bag containing lollies
  • blank flash cards
  • McDonald's quarter pounder box and fries packet
  • your love
  • clothes and towels (inside)
  • first-aid kit
  • dirty dishes
  • shampoo, laundry liquid, and blueberry cordial
  • sodium bicarbonate
  • soap
  • scissors
  • spongebag
  • assorted owls
  • permanent marker
  • pliers
  • rusty 20-cent piece
  • bottle of cinnamon
  • "Facts About CJ" piece of paper
  • empty drinkbottle
  • coaster
  • old Metcard
  • chicken noodle soup mix
  • card advertising the library from my university
  • your love
  • TV with PC, DVD, AV and YPbPr input (also DTV... apparently)
  • clock-radio wired up to Macbook and tuned to Triple J
  • Wii (with battery charger) wired up to AV
  • headphones (in case I'm studying or want to disappear from this world)
  • NDS
  • no second PC! annoyance!
  • your love
  • red hardhat
  • shoebox
  • electric razor
  • the box that my sandwich press came in
  • two Tupperware containers
  • many green environment bags
  • sunscreen
  • soap
  • textbooks
  • novels
  • Calvin & Hobbes, Evil Penguins and Little Book of Calm books
  • six CD spindles, five CD boxes and a CD wallet
  • numerous music CDs, TV series DVDs, Wii games, and Crash
  • iPod dongle for car
  • WD-40
  • bottle puzzle (solved)
  • Beanie Kid dressed as a cricketer
  • your love
  • Finder
  • Google Chrome
  • Mozilla Thunderbird
  • Shrook
  • Adium
  • Skype
  • Mattbox
  • Vuze
  • iTunes
  • Audacity
  • VLC
  • Preview
  • Skitch
  • Photo Booth
  • Grapher
  • TextEdit
  • Stickies
  • Keepsake
  • VirtualBox
  • DOSBox
  • CriticalMass
  • Bluetooth File Exchange
  • Terminal
  • System Preferences
  • Software Update
  • your love
MY PLAYLIST I'm not doing this one. It's 7,000 fuckin' songs. No way in hell. ...Yes, "Your Love" is one of those songs. Performed by the Friendly Fires. Not too shabby, either.


...nope, not doing this one either. ...No, your love is not in the bin. I appreciate your thoughts too much for that.


...OK, this is just getting ridiculous.


...shut up. I need to get back to Curryland.


...alright, that's just silly. <leaves>







This has been a CJ Curry presentation for CJ Curry Enterprises, Inc. Don't forget to enter the "Where In The World Is Curry Sanfrancisco?" competition. Last post's winner was Ms. Janet Percy, of 64 Rogan Josh Lane, Curryland. For correctly saying that I broadcasted Ep46 from Santa Claus' secret hideout, Janet wins a cool staircase. Now you can build that second storey on your home, Janet! The prize for Ep47 is: a half-eaten beanbag, a pair of tracksuit pants, and a packet of noodles. First in first served!

March 13, 2010

Obsession? No, I can give it up at any time.

Hi. I'm CJ. And I saved my country five times in the last financial year.


In order to comply with Curryland regulations, I must post the following warning on this particular blog.


Thank you. Now, you may enter the Zone Of CJ. There may be graphic content.

I'll start with a little bit of news from Curryland. Currently, I'm sitting on a $0.15 blog empire. The blogs that partner me are not looking upon me favourably. They want to see me hung, drawn and quartered for some strange reason. It is because of this that I have had to make my location less traceable every post. Thus, the "Where In The World Is Curry Sanfrancisco?" competition will get tougher, starting this post. If nobody wins the prize, it will jackpot. It WILL jackpot, or ELSE.

In the meantime, enjoyment of this blog is now mandatory. If you do not enjoy this blog, you need to stop reading it... or I'll get into a lot of trouble. Hell, my ninja broadcast has already made me a fugitive. Not to mention the various and copious amounts of hacking I've been doing of late in order to get it done. I'm in a lot of trouble should I ever get caught. Don't expect too much from me if I do get caught... but I'll do what I can to stop it.

If you do like this blog, please help me by sending me your support. Message me, comment, whatever. I just need your feedback. And no, feedback from running a microphone straight in front of a speaker will not do the trick, because ninja broadcasts can't get sound feedback that easily. Sorry. Anyway, that's all I have to say.

Please ponder on the following question for a little while: Why is it so?

While you're pondering, here's some thinking music.

da dada da da da dada da daa da daaa da da dadada da da
la lala la la la lala la laa la laaa la la lalala la la
mm mmmm mm mm mm mmmm mm mmm mm mmmm mm mm mmmmmm mm mm
oh ohoh oh oh oh ohoh oh ohh oh ohhh oh oh ohohoh oh oh
mi miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii mi (tricked you there!)
de dede de de de dede de dee de deee de de dedede de de

Do you have an answer? No? Well, it sucks to be you then. It's not my problem.

I'm looking at my fridge right now. It contains a bottle of fictional1 cordial, some biscuits, a half-finished bar of chocolate, three apples and six bananas. I need more biscuits. BISCUITS! Speaking of which, it has been pointed out recently that biscuits are different in the fictional2 land of North America. I do enjoy biscuits, but I don't enjoy biscuits. I prefer scones to biscuits, but I absolutely love biscuits.

Currently there are four laptops in my room. One more and we'll reach maximum occupancy.

Incidentally, people have been asking me whether I am left or right. So, for all of your benefit, here is my left/right status.
  • Right hand
  • Left hand
  • Left hand
  • Right hand
  • Left wing
  • Right foot
  • Left brain
  • Right brain
  • Left hand
  • Right arm
  • Right arm
  • Right eye
  • Left ear
  • Left hand
  • Right hand
  • Right leg
  • Left knee
  • Right hand
  • Right leg
  • Left leg
  • Right thumb
  • Left hand
  • Right hand
  • Right here.


This has been a CJ Curry presentation for CJ Curry Enterprises, Inc. Don't forget to enter the "Where In The World Is Curry Sanfrancisco?" competition. Last post's winner was: Ms. Joanna Cressley of 553 Rice Way, Curryland. For correctly saying that I broadcasted Ep45 from the tank of the world's largest water gun, Joanna wins the two beautiful-sounding eucalyptus leaves. Watch out for angry hordes of koalas, Jo! The prize for Ep46 is: a staircase that was once used as a substitute player for Barry Bonds. Think carefully about my location!

March 8, 2010

Now, we'll enjoy ourselves.

Hi. I'm CJ. And I may be a tad insane at times.


These are my firm beliefs:

--Those who dare to jump will soon find that the ground isn't as far down as it seems.
This one works two ways: literally and metaphorically. First: unless your eyes are at ground level, which they seldom are, you'll find that the ground is a good metre and a half further away from your eyes than your feet. Jump! It's safe! Unless there's shitloads of rocks underneath. That isn't good for making you happy. Second: Take a leap into the unknown. I mean, hell, you might find that it works out nicely for you! Yep, it won't be as bad as it seems. I took a leap of faith this year. My faith is still being tested. Though it's not as bad as it seems... and... I still have eight months left. Ish. I dunno, I'm not Wonder Woman.

--Everyone has a story to tell, and a secret to hide.
True. From a pseudo-random survey of four people (namely myself, my friend, my floormate, and a rubber tree that we found lying in the closet), I discovered that everybody does indeed have a story to tell (in fact, I have two) and that everybody does indeed have some pretty nasty skeletons hanging in their closet - nasty enough that we don't tell our SOs1. My story: I have two, but I won't share them here. One story I tell people willingly, the other story I leave behind cryptic clues and only explicitly tell those who I deem worthy. You're not worthy, if you're reading this, and I haven't told you yet. WORTHY. As for my secret: show me yours and I'll show you mine.

--The power of belief cannot be overestimated.
One word: PLACEBO. Believe in yourself and believe in other people and you'll... believe a lot. And maybe get eggs for breakfast2. But enough of that. Even if you need someone else to believe, I believe that the power of belief is believeable. Believe me. And never believe anybody who says "believe me". But still, belief in oneself equals power in oneself. It will work if you believe it will.

--One should not forget the pain after the wound recovers.
Because if you do, you don't learn from your mistakes. As is it's far too easy to fall into that trap. All of a sudden, it'll become a lesson lost and a lesson failed. In any case, there's one lesson I fail at constantly, and I shall share it with you now (because sharing is, of course, caring). I constantly fail at immediately writing down my ideas. As a result of this, I forget things far too far too often. In fact, I forget some things with alarming frequency. In fact, sometimes I forget things while I'm writing. In fact, I should stop saying "in fact". Still. Remind me to write shit down, otherwise you're going to get stupidly insane blogs - in fact, just as bad as this.

Speaking of which, it's birthday bash here at The CJ Curry Experience. I've been writing this junk now for a year. Give a cheer. Or don't. Just depends on how you feel, I guess. Hell, feel free to take to me with a taser and go all "zap zap" on me. It'll make me brighter!



1. Significant Other. In other words: girlfriend, boyfriend, best friend, life partner, parent, guardian, lover, grandparent, dog, or three-ton sumo-wrestling Mexican walking fish.
2. See Experience 10: Spare a dime?

This has been a CJ Curry presentation for CJ Curry Enterprises, Inc. Don't forget to enter the "Where In The World Is Curry Sanfrancisco?" competition. Last post's winner was Mr. Jason Lindstrøm of 34 Rice Way, Curryland. For correctly saying that I broadcasted Ep44 from an old oil barrel near Curryland's capital, Jason wins a very flavoursome lock of my hair. I wouldn't suck it! The prize for Ep45 is: two eucalyptus leaves that were once used to play the kazoo. Hurry, the next post is coming soon!
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