March 29, 2013

Joy unbounded!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #170
"Fits me to a 'T'."

So here is my T-shirt collection, in photo order. (Hey look, actual photo!)
  • The top four are all Scribble Party shirts, 2009-2012. If you look closely there's a dick or two drawn on. One was an old T-shirt, the rest plain white tees.
  • "Meet Me At The Uni Bar" - O Week T-shirt 2011. Got it for free.
  • "one foot goes down" - one I designed myself last year, but bought online. It's my mantra.
  • A San Diego T-shirt, dyed somehow with ash. Brought back from a trip to the States by a family member.
  • "Bear + Deer = ?" - our end-of-year celebration T-shirt from 2011.
  • "I am multi-talented - I can talk and piss you off at the same time". Birthday present that perfectly describes this blog.
  • "Get Real / Be Rational" - a present from my sister. Mathematics are my life.
  • "Defeat Awkwardness With Maximum Ridiculosity" - rinse and repeat, with QC instead of mathematics.
  • "It's only illegal if you get caught" - a Jay Jays acquisition, before Jay Jays became... shit.
  • "Say Hello To The World" - O Week T-shirt 2009. Used mostly as a nightshirt.
  • Ministry Of Sound Electro House Sessions - bought 2008 when Electro House Sessions was booming.
  • "What Is This I Don't Even" - present from a friend. I love memes.
  • "A Winner Is You" - present from my sister. Ditto to above.
  • "Project C" - the caption reads "The Rubber Revolution". From 2011, given to me for free.
  • "La Trobe University" - bought in my first year. It still fits, surprisingly.
  • The cricketer - made by my grandmother. It has a kangaroo on the back.
  • "I'm Not Being Rude - You're Just Insignificant" - I get a bit hazy on this one, but I think it was a Jay Jays acquisition.
  • "Welcome To The Family" - O Week T-shirt 2012. I don't wear this one often enough.
  • "Problem Solved" - I don't wear this one for two reasons. First, it can be seen by some as misogynist; second, I was given it when I was 14 and it no longer fits.
  • "The Final Stage In The Evolution Of Chisholm" - our end-of-year celebration T-shirt from 2009.
  • "O Week - May The Force Be With You" - O Week T-shirt 2011. Another one I need to wear more.
  • "Bite Me" - those are faded thylacines. Bought by a Tasmanian in 2011.
  • The light blue Ministry Of Sound one - bought before light blue became not my colour, and before the Electro House Sessions one.
  • "Ottawa" - brought back from, of course, Ottawa by my father.
  • Tron. Painted and designed it myself, for a costume party in 2011. I use it as a fallback costume.
  • "Rogue Traders Better In The Dark" - when they toured in 2008, I saw them.
  • "The funniest thing about this shirt..." - curtailed because it's too long, another Jay Jays acquisition.
  • "Nobody likes a smart arse" - another Jay Jays acquisition. All of the Jay Jays ones were bought in 2008-2009.
  • "Big Day Out" - what it says on the tin. Bought in 2012.
  • The light blue one has faded writing and reads "Chisholm College O Week Recruit 2010". Also what it says on the tin. I've put this one through hell - mud, bleach, hair dye.
  • "Hero" - Extra Life T-shirt 2012. Was given it for raising $200+.
  • Street Fighter - came second place in a trivia contest a couple of months back and snaffled this out of the prize pack.
  • "Edge" - the dimensions of the Edge experience in the Eureka Tower. Bought earlier this year. Mathematics ♥.
  • The white one - I'm not actually sure, because this is an older one. Probably from Target, before I turned 18.
  • "YouTube MySpace and I'll Google your Yahoo" - bought at a market a month ago. My newest addition to the collection.
  • "Bollé" - another older one that I'm a bit fuzzy on.
  • "It's Not My Fault I'm Awesome" - I don't wear this one often - call it superstition. Another Jay Jays acquisition.
  • "Pomonal Cricket Club" - what it says on the tin. My non-player shirt.
  • "Step Outside For A Little Air" - brought back from New Zealand by my father on one of his work trips.
  • Warped circle - Orbital's logo. Bought at an Orbital gig last year.
  • "What Would Stephen Hawking Do" - designed and printed myself some years ago. I could have done so much better.
  • "Study Mentor Coordinator" - I actually have four of these. One for each year for three years, plus a bonus one that was misprinted.
  • "Faculty of Science, Technology & Engineering" - this year's Connect Mentor shirt.
  • "You Obviously Like Owls" - my sister loves me. Again, what it says on the tin.
  • "The Birds" - another present, this time from my parents. I love it.
  • "Fibonacci" - another present from my parents. Explains the Fibonacci numbers in nature very nicely.
  • "Cut Copy" - from a Cut Copy gig in 2011. When they toured to promote Zonoscope.
  • Pi - bought this one at Supanova last year. I regret not wearing it on Pi Day this year.
  • "It's Hard To Show I Care Since I Don't" - another Jay Jays acquisition. I love sarcastic T-shirts.
  • Owlgebra - my sister, again. She knows me way too well.
  • Aboriginal Art - another older one, and another one I'm fuzzy on.
  • Tiger - bought at a market some time ago. I love markets for this reason.
  • Kangaroo Australia - an older one. Can't remember how I came across it, but it got torn so I use it as a zombie costume.
  • "I'll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter" - I use this alongside a hoodie that says "I'm Mean Because You're Stupid". Nice little double-whammy.
  • Australia flag - I wear it every Australia Day, and then some.
In contrast, my bandannas are kinda bland:
  • Australia flag
  • Video games
  • Black
  • Orange, grey and black triangles
  • Plaid
  • Circles
  • Khaki
  • Stripes
  • Maple leaves
  • Guitar picks
  • Spots
  • Jägermeister (the only non-CanTeen one)
Fifty-eight T-shirts, and a dozen bandannas. I have enough clothing combinations to wear one a day for nearly two years. But, y'all know what? I just realised that I have no T-shirt on. And since it's Good Friday, I have no pants either. So I'm going to disappear and put on some clothes. See you in April.

i will write an episode one day from my balcony i promise.

March 21, 2013

Monologue and duopoly!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #169
"I have seen the future, and it is now."

Have a news post.

*rustle rustle* That's me trying to rustle up some good stories. Bear with me. (Or else don't Bear with me and Bear will go and find someone else.)
  • So apparently it's International Day Of Happiness, according to the UN. Doesn't affect me. I'm pretty happy all the time. Take that!
  • Accusations are being made that Bolshoi pimped out its ballerinas. Seriously? As if there ain't enough sex scandal in the world as is.
  • *rustle rustle* Ah. Smartwatches are being developed by Samsung now, it's been confirmed. This comes along with Google Glass, and about five other companies also competing to corner the smartwatch market real fast. The good news: everyone will get to pretend to be a fuckin' secret agent. The bad news: everyone will pretend to be a fuckin' secret agent.
  • *rustle rustle* Yes! The Humble Bundle, widely known for handing out bundles of media (most notably video games, but also other goodies like ebooks), have gone a step away from the bundle and are launching single games. Once a week, pick a game, pick your price, and pick the charity that part of the money goes to. ...Meh, I don't need money anyway.
  • Another reality TV show, called Celebrity Splash. Oh dear gods, not another one...
  • *rustle rustle* Here we go. A man in the US has been shot... by his dog. Apparently the pistol, which he thought was unloaded, was fully armed for when the dog kicked it, and shot the man in the leg. Police have not arrested the dog.
  • *rustle rustle* If you're gonna hotwire a car, do it properly. A 17-yr-old Austrian (I nearly typed 'Australian'... but it does sound like an Aussie) drunkenly tried to hotwire a car. He fell asleep part way through, then when he woke up, he replaced the wiring and scooted away. Wi-re you not laughing harder at this one?
  • *rustle* Germans may have no sense of humour, according to British comedians, but they sure as hell have a sense of fun. Lately, an annual topless sledding competition has been held in Altenberg. The event (open to both genders) attracted thousands of spectators this year. Sounds... cold. And exhilarating. I wanna go topless sledding now. *books tickets to Germany*
  • *rustle rustle* One more, then I get into other stuff. Autocorrect is a bitch for people living in Virginia, especially as one South Carolina mistyped that a vehicle bore a "vagina tag" (i.e. licence plate). So much for pubic... I mean public education.
And now, news from my world. Because you're all dying to hear.
  • My hair is blue!
And that is all. Because that's the only report I have in any way, shape or form that has anything to do with that awful, awful pun.

i am way too emotionally spent to write too much more, so please bear with me. again.

March 13, 2013

Keyser Söze was one heartless dick.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #168
"I have new usual suspects, and they are suspiciously fun."

Drink up, for tomorrow I dye.

Also: Jam.

March marches on and that pun gets older and older as I get older as well. Not great but could be so much worse. So we continue with the randomness and craziness brought from Curryland and its subsidiary place things. Have a waffle.

Here is a preview of tomorrow:
blü.
There we go.

So I guess you should be told about the things I've been doing lately, ya? Ya. OK, so:

  • I have been with fishies. The aquarium is amazing!
  • Cached in several new locations around teh cityzorz.
  • Obediently helped put shit on film. Again.
  • Nicely played cards as a playtester.
  • Craftily played music. I need to do that more often.
  • Eyeballed a sporting event, through rain and... rain.
  • Did comedy and night markets, several times. Need more!
  • Extravagantly became an awesome boozehound.
But I haven't done anything with leftover soup. Well, not enough. Especially if caffeine is involved. Man, fuck caffeine because it fucks with me. In an awesome way of course. I need more. But it'll keep me awake way too long. So instead I'm gonna give you the following collection of syllables: Li, bap, sy, pla, und, si, zo. Enjoy.

long live my cricket bat. please.

Here is another preview of tomorrow:
pie.
That is all.

Also, something smells funny. Dammit, I thought we were alone here! But alas, if true then issues will ensue. Somehow. But if the blue box and the harrowed owl arrive tonight wrapped in Saran wrap (whatever the hell that is) with orders to "take me to your leader", I shall, erm, actually I don't know what I'll do because I'm already overstocked on pixie dust. I suppose I'll wear the cold gold Golf Gulf hat. Also known as a tam.

One last thing. The odds are still shortening for Flying Lotus and lengthening for Friendly Fires. Because Music Monday is actually quite subtle (but is now less so).

i think absurd notions is not actually such an absurd idea.

March 9, 2013

I'll just leave this here...

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #167
"Let's drop this."

Ladies and gentlemen, we present: the original and best CJ Curry!

*applause*
*wild stamping*
*shrieks*
*fangirly screams*
*stops cassette*
*silence*

Blammo. Time to dye again! Help me out here. Less than a week to go and I am decidedly not afraid of it or anything else. Bring on the fun!

Ahem. On a more serious note. Unfortunately the blog has gotten a negative review. In all the 167 episodes I have dropped, we have never had a negative review. Until now. As a consequence, I am organising a hunting party. There are only six slots, so I am holding a competition. To win a spot, all you need to do is email Curryland Media with a photo of your favourite fanboy, in the fanboy pose I have drawn at random out of a hat. Which you will not know, so you will have to guess. The first five correct answers will be put into a mincer, and the next five will be randomly drawn out of a hat.

Jump into my throat and breathe the moon dust.

I feel like my life could be an Emiliana Torrini song right now. Or maybe not. But it should be because Emi is amazing at her singing. And I am sleepy so I am going to present the next paragraph as a series of keyboard mashings.

lihb'cvnqjvf[ob nqn3ui5hgol8yql'uibg;/uiwb vqh0 gqhoUSRH rvgaeoli RGAS rgaei rgae hui rgae rgaw hui rgew ohu gw 902bty4;9fh4livu gh;qoty.i rgwui aw,zkjs th;ozsl ygh;ob ty;aoth;askdgjh;kasdgh;askdgjh';thuw;OSDJgn'aovfjun'ozrvnsa;aorjsgh ka jngvau h mnbvUISb ddz lkgh awektuy aiuh4 ia ,ig un9i8 ar498th 9i 4u nLI awpe tvh[a4'6-3a4c]wtvyu3q0[tv g;ailujhdf vghbnqwderftg

That was fun. And enlightening.

And there is light through the veins.

sleep is beckoning but I am not going to listen to its call because I don't think I want to sleep just yet but it is 1 in the morning oh what the hell time for some snooze. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

i'm not really asleep, but trust me it won't take long.

March 3, 2013

Safety in 14-21-13-2-5-18-19.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #166
"Stop, look, listen, think, then realise you're wasting time."

Is it the calm before the storm, or the quiet time before the dawn?

...wacko. I have just been sent a letter claiming that I owe some company or other $477.53 in foreign domestic taxes. So I need your help. As usual, please address donations to the following address:
CJ Curry
c/- The Experience
G.P.O. Box 63
Curryland
(the postal code is 55H3 999R3YD o37744F10459 L544591321.04 ∫hha5*6 - in case you'd forgotten already. don't forget to use the correct font, either. otherwise the donations will find their way to my evil identical twin brother, BJ.)

...ahem.
one seven zero five three three seven
Thank you.

Hey look! A unicorn! Oh wait, that unicorn disappeared. Now I'm bored. Very bored. So bored, in fact, that I'm going to wait until something else magical happens.
...
...
...
Ho hum.
...
...
...
Nothing magical is happening.
...
...
...
Absolutely nothing.
...
...
...
Remember kids, idealism sucks.
...
...
...
CLANG
Welp, would you look at that. A random street sign just not-so-magically fell off its pole. And it hurt. I'll update you on how that injury proceeds within the week. Or two weeks. I don't know how long these injuries take to develop.

And long live my cricket bat.

if ever there was a prize for "cutest webcomic relationship" i swear jamie mcjack and erin would have to win it.
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