November 16, 2012

My gun had no trigger.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And it's over for another season.


Might I point out that you can find a lot of numbers in my blog posts this semester? Seriously. The more agile-minded people among you will find the following numbers in my posts:
--In post 141, you should find the first few Fibonacci numbers (except 1).
--In post 142, you should find the number 69.
--In post 143, you should find nine instances of the number 3.
--In post 144, you should find a reference to the number 144, and its corresponding unit of measurement.
--In post 147, you should find out why the number 41 appears.
--In post 148, you should find what time 66 days in the future will be.
--In post 150, you should find a 150. Easily.
--In post 153, you should find a long string of numbers and explain what the story is.
--Post 154 is full of numbers and figures.
--In post 156, you should find an NP-complete puzzle and solve it. You should also tell me where my stats come from.

As I approach the final days of college, I've decided to look back on them. Mostly by taking fragments of my memories, photos and old blog posts and piecing them together in what I think and hope is a quasi-coherent and possibly clear retrospective of my college life. For your big fat information, of course. The final entry is from this year and (not) beyond.

2012 was again going to be the Year Of The CJ, though it seems to have turned into anything but. At least, for a while it did. But then it rollercoastered again. After my disappointment in December, of course I felt pretty appalling for a while. Having said that, January was probably one of the better months I had this year. Back to my home town every weekend for cricket, plus being more social it's crazy. I rounded January off with a trip to the cricket, and a trip to Big Day Out. I'd write more about it but I've already pretty much said it all in this article here.

February was mostly a carbon copy of 2011's February. I got trained in the Student Leadership arts again (three times and counting), then unfortunately had another disappointment by again wearing my heart on my sleeve. A little dejected, I turned to my good friend sleep deprivation to get me through the first few days of O Week, and it did so admirably. I pushed through, started getting help, and made a bunch of new friends in the process.

Late Feb and early March I had possibly the biggest mindfuckery ever. Relationship-wise. After a big scrap with a good friend, I found myself unable to settle down until I'd killed a few demons, one of which being the very short-sighted decision to dye my hair green for Leukæmia Day. Once I'd killed that demon, and others, I decided to jump in headfirst, and found myself a new group of people.

For the rest of the semester, nothing much especially good happened (apart from time with my new friends, and Supanova). I was somewhat of an eye-catcher on campus because of the green hair - I even went to a ball with green! - and I was doing fairly well with my assessments, but other than that there's not much else to say. The end of May is when it all started going appallingly - I went through another crisis (though this one was less traumatic), I nearly lost my job, and I started hitting the booze. Not alcoholic levels, mind - just enough to cause me to stop and think. Masterchef and the ball both saw me through to the end of the semester quite fine.

June exams were dealt with as best I could, given the circumstances. That said, in late June I jumped in to things headfirst - again - and in retrospect it probably wasn't the smartest choice. As such, most of my July holidays were spent doing exactly that - jumping in headfirst. Again, not the smartest choice. In August, the workload increased as I started to prepare for Extra Life, the college play, and Open Day. It ended up becoming a case of "tackle them one at a time", so I did, killing another demon in the process.

The college play was a blast, despite the fact that I was just tech. Open Day was fun, despite the fact that I spent six hours on my feet and had an atrocious week thereafter. Extra Life was really bloody amazing, and I am so glad I did it. In fact, I'd do the whole thing again in a heartbeat. I also discovered Slender Man, and have dressed up as him three times. The second time, I got the Hollywood treatment (at the Zombie Shuffle); the third time, I won an award.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and so did semester two of 2012. Exams are now over, and I think I did reasonably OK. So, huge thanks again to the following folk for making this a fun year: Paolo, Anna, Lucas, Tom (both of you), Ben, Natt, Kez, Katie, Fin, Jordan, Kat (both of you), Lucy, Kimberly, Megan (and Meagan), Miranda, Trickey, "Switzerland" (i.e. Chris), "Sweden" (i.e. Martin), Chantal, Liz, Rhys, Ali, Emily, Steven, Nicole, Brad, Sam, Neigh, Purcey, Trez, Chelsea, Campbell, George (both of you), Stacey, Laura (both of you), Jo, Lucy, Liam, Ellen, Jenny (both of you), Stuart, Fi, Lee, April, Hubert, Wayne, Sophie, Krish, Nadia, Alice, Caity, Tabin, Matt, Mike, Alex (three of you), Leslie, Nick, Dan, Sam, Jen, Miles, Darren, Kylie, Jenn, Millie, Kitty, Anika, Diana, Leisa, Tiff, Bill, Ryan, Jasmin, Si-Eun, Parker, Ed, Bathie, Mackie, Marthe, the other CJ, Will, Charlotte, Maddy, Minette, Michelle, and about three others I can't write down here for one reason or another.

Goodbye, college. I will miss you.

Also: I have a new house! Time to look forward to blogging adventures in Season Nine!


Go fly a kite, and be happy.

November 11, 2012

From one to another...

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you're getting bored shitless.


As I approach the final days of college, I've decided to look back on them. Mostly by taking fragments of my memories, photos and old blog posts and piecing them together in what I think and hope is a quasi-coherent and possibly clear retrospective of my college life. For your big fat information, of course. Here is my account of 2011.

From the New Year's party, I knew that 2011 was going to be The Year Of The CJ. I also decided to log the year by making a 365 Project - a photo a day for a year - so this is probably the most coherent year in my memory. Indeed, January is still crystal clear. Couple of hot tub parties after my New Year's bash, then work for two weeks. Cricket on the weekends, and visits from some Tasmanians, followed nicely by a drunk Australia Day and a Ratatat gig.

The shortest month of the year was mostly taken up with student leader training. It being my first time in the top job, I was understandably nervous. But I pushed on, and entered my third O Week. Again, I had the most fun at Moat Party, and again, lost my inhibitions. For the first time, I was stared at. Not necessarily a good thing.

Early March, I built the Hungry Beast. Late March, I got into Minecraft. Early April, I bought a Nintendo 3DS. Late April, I took a trip to Tasmania. It was quite literally the first time I'd visited Tasmania in my entire life, and ditto for Hobart. So that made it the only state of Australia I'd never been to until that point (I still haven't hit Brisbane yet, but I have hit Queensland). The trip was amazing and eye-opening, but I still want more. Some day.

New to 2011 was Masterchef. This was a program that the Study Support team had tried to kickstart in 2010, but it fell through for various reasons. So Jenn and I decided to kick it into high gear and turn it into something new and different. Jenn was the brains behind it all, I was the brawn executing it all. It went down an absolute treat, and I was asked to repeat it in Semester 2 and beyond. I loved it, and I obviously wasn't going to say "no".

Another ball and a Cut Copy gig later, it was exam time again. I spent just as much time socialising as studying, but I got some good marks. July was possibly the worst and the best month for me - I had my wisdom teeth taken out, so I was holed up for a while with StarCraft II, but after that healed I was all "movie movie movie". I made some pretty damned good friends working on Isidore and I've kept most of them. I am very OK with this.

One Re-O-Week later, classes kickstarted again. I also got first-hand experience with census collection - not something I want to repeat in a hurry - and kickstarted Masterchef again, this time with feeling. Unfortunately, something was wrong. The unthinkable happened in mid-September - so few people saw it coming, but in hindsight, most people saw it afterwards.

I had decided that I wanted to do the job again, because there were so many unanswered questions in my head about who I am, and what other people are like. So I lined up another interview, and got the job again for 2012. Time for a rinse-and-repeat - except for the fact that instead of 9 mentors I now had 16. Let the fun begin!

After October, I met so many new people in one way or another. I met some of Mike's friends, got to know Minette and her friends more, became crazy close with a girl (but had no attraction to her - and vice versa), jumped into my fifth college ball and met people there, and met my new mentor team properly. Sadly, the last event of the year was cancelled for me as I fell very very sick... but that didn't stop me Zombie Shuffling again!

November exams whooshed past, and I elected to stay at college for the second summer in a row. Things got fairly boring around college, so I opted to spend as much of it as possible off campus. I found a semi-good hangout place in Boldrewood Pde, another in the heart of the city, a third back in my home town, and a fourth in Preston. Exactly what I needed, when I needed it most.

All this is not to mention all the other awesomeness that happened this year: a Disney marathon, several IT Crowd outings, college sports such as cricket and squash and the ring road relay, the college play, Nerd Party, various Nazi Zombies sessions and the awesomeness that was Jenn's 21st. Also, buying a ticket to the Big Day Out in 2012!

Huge appreciations are to be made to the following people: Nicole, Paolo, Lucas, Jess, Jenn, Bella, Aldo, James, Kieran, George, Maeve, Natt, Kez, Katie, Stacey, Minette, Michelle, Megan, Charlotte, Liam, Tom, Ben, Rachel, Kasey, Annemarie, Holly, Caelan, Emma, Mike, Leslie, Rishi, Ebony, Erin, Steph, Dan, Sam (three of you), Alex, Jen, Nick, Amber, Sean (three of you), Theresa, Meg, John, Anna, Carl, Cass, Mackie, Ronnie, Livy, Mia, Kirsten, Mel, Bridgett, Stuart, Lewis, Josh, Nick, Maike, Kamilla, Daniel, Campbell, Chelsea, Eshan, Portia, Jansu, Chris, Simon, Josie, and about three others I can't write down here for one reason or another.


November 6, 2012

The champ was here! You missed him.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And we're nearly there.


As I approach the final days of college, I've decided to look back on them. Mostly by taking fragments of my memories, photos and old blog posts and piecing them together in what I think and hope is a quasi-coherent and possibly clear retrospective of my college life. For your big fat information, of course. I'll continue the theme and jump into 2010.

Summer of 2009/2010 sucked. That's all there was to it. I had to work, my car busted, and so on and so forth. Nothing special, apart from cricket (love!) and re-reading House Of Leaves.

So, I'm now a study mentor. I got back to uni the day before training started, and I can recall spending a lot of time with a friend prior to the year starting. Not many others were around, but we became closer. Almost brother-and-sister close. Almost. We got there by the end of the year, though. Regardless, newbies came and we had fun introducing them all. Again, the best part of O Week was the Moat Party, but I also did some amazing stuff with friends during non-O Week events.

I'd also obviously moved rooms. No longer did I have the one with the weird geometric layout - this one was more square. But, I'd found the perfect spot for everything this year - swap the bed and desk, and go with that. Settling in to this routine wasn't difficult, and I still had awesome (albeit different) floormates. I sometimes wish I still had them.

My first big task for the semester was to apply for a scholarship to spend a semester in the UK. Though I didn't get it, I did learn from the experience, which is more than a lot of others can say. It eventually went to a guy who grew up in the same home town, with the same first name, studying the same degree, applying for the same university (and our sisters' names are the same, too).

If last year was a social life kill, then this year was anything but. I started losing a lot of interest in things that had previously been central to my life, and became more social. I started playing a lot of Nazi Zombies with Paolo, going out more on Thursday nights, and generally being more fun. It helped too, because it boosted not only my rep but also Study Support's. Which turned out to be a great thing, especially for my mentees for the year. I am still in regular contact with a couple of them.

During the winter holidays (exams flew past) I mixed music for the first time since 2008, had a visit from my then-girlfriend, and just generally had as much fun as I possibly could. Would I have known what was to come, I would probably have been a bit more morose.

The second semester was the one that changed my college experience forever. I had already decided to apply for Amy's job in 2009, and I applied for it. Nervous as anything, I went into the interview, knowing that some days before I had won the award for "Most Outstanding Student Leader" at the college. I was surprised as anything, because I really had not done too much beyond doing my job and working hard. The snowball had lived in Hell. It kept living in Hell, because I got the position. Amy was ecstatic. I was over the damn moon.

The rest of the year was full of up-and-down, but mostly down. The game of up-and-down started when we held a surprise party for Amy's then-boyfriend, and I had a talk with Amy that changed my perspective on one aspect of my life. As things went back and forth I tried to hold everything together, but ultimately it became too much of an issue. It all culminated, finally, one Thursday afternoon.

I had made the decision to stay at college for the summer, and moved in to the flat in late November. After that, realistically, things didn't happen much beyond just chilling at the flat and a December disappointment (though I did throw one heck of a New Year's Eve party).

Many thanks to the people who helped me survive 2010, in one form or another: Paolo, Jenn, Amy, Navin, Sam (both of them), Tom (all three of them), Mirosha, Marian, Raghav, Ben, Lucas, Clo, Christelle, Gen, Mia, Natt, Kez, Katie, Nicole, Annemarie, Kieran, Emma, Holly, Sammie, Kasey, Rishi, Rachel, Matt, Mike, Leslie, Ebony, Ellen, Stuart, Josh, Bridgett, Mel, Nick, Sarah, Kirsten, Lewis, Bowen, Jansu, Mandie, Bex, Portia, Ness, Elissa, Cass, Kylie, Darren, Mackie, Ronnie, Nadia, Ricky, Jack,  Elise, Eshan, Travis, Joe, Campbell, Leo, Jess, Abs, Mehdi, Shelby, Simon, Chris (all three of them), Sean (all three of them), Bathie, and about three others I can't write down here for one reason or another.


November 1, 2012

The looney uni bin

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you will probably be bored shitless over the next four posts.


As I approach the final days of college, I've decided to look back on them. Mostly by taking fragments of my memories, photos and old blog posts and piecing them together in what I think and hope is a quasi-coherent and possibly clear retrospective of my college life. For your big fat information, of course. Let's start with 2009.

The first memory I have of college precedes 2009 - Open Day in 2007. I was walking down the path towards the uni from the bottom of the college. To this day, when I hear Push Push (M.A.N.D.Y Remix) by Rockers HiFi, I still think of it. This is in no way relevant to 2009 but I figured it'd be a neat little factoid.
So. Applied, got in. Packed all my shit into a few boxes and came to college. Normal college story. Trick is, though, I moved in a day late. I was met by the social club person from my tower pretty quicksmart, and to be honest, I never felt more nervous. But she was warm and inviting, and she said "welcome home" upon arrival to my room. I immediately loved it for its unusual geometric layout. Bit squashy, but I figured I'd make it work. Which I did.

O Week killed any semblance of inhibition I had previously had - in fact, I blame O Week almost solely for turning me into an extrovert (from the introverted fool I once was). It also turned me into a raging alcoholic (THREE drinks in one night! Yowza!) and I blame mostly that night's Moat Party for it. I also met up with a girl I had previously met on enrolment day, and we became fast friends. The rest of O week was me getting shoved in mud and scavenger hunts where the tasks I did were dictated by the tasks done by the only other male in the group. I loved it. And I met people.

The first week or so of classes passed without a hitch - in fact, I started learning some amazing things about computers and mathematics that I never thought were possible. Of course. But I also learned that learning comes at a price - HECS, a social life kill, and of course, time management. I quickly defined and developed my own time management, which consisted loosely of going out Thursday nights and no other nights, shopping on Saturday afternoons, talking to my then-girlfriend at 8:30p until she went to bed, and trying hard not to miss Good News Week or Spicks & Specks.

Really, the only major hiccup in my system was when I (possibly) contracted piggy flu. I don't know and I never will for certain, but I was hit by something in the middle of the year that didn't quite amount to a common cold. Everything else happened almost exactly like a dream. My first round of exams came and went, and I passed everything with flying colours. Discrete mathematics, calculus and number systems, beginner's Java, and statistical science. So many numbers, so much learning, and so many people that I met along the way. What a journey.

So. Come the holidays, it was time for the Ashes. Faithfully, I stayed awake until 4:00am each morning the Ashes were on. I also watched the Aussies take a crushing defeat - but only 2-1, unlike what was to follow in eighteen months - as I eased into second semester. To my surprise, I was invited to the Academic Dinner, given "the Geek Award", and went out that night to celebrate. I was also approached by the residential supervisor and asked if I had considered going for a mentor role. I replied that I hadn't, but I'd stick an application in anyway.

I'll never forget it. My floormate Amy was selected for the role of mentor co-ordinator, and she pulled me aside one night in September to say that my interview was successful, and I'd been offered a position. I responded with absolute delight, and stopped only to say that I was going to hunt down Amy's job next. She laughed a little, then was all "Well, I'd kinda like to hold on to it for a bit!"

August and September truly were the best months of that semester, despite being the coldest. I always hated the cold, but come October and springtime, I started perking up a lot and having an absolute ball. The college ball, in fact. I had declined the first one, but the second one I had a good time at. I decided to be sober for the night - to practise, as it were - and I ended up needing it. I had a nice night, though, on a boat going up and down the Yarra.

Following that, the semester breezed by. I bought a Wii, my non-Mac laptop broke, the tower took a trip to Whittlesea, I passed the second semester, and with a tear in my eye (I'm dead serious here) moved out of college for the summer. I shouldn't have. I went stir crazy back home over the summer.

Huge awesome respect to the following peoples: Mia, Natt, Kez, Katie, Paolo, Amy, Tim, Mandie, Jenn, Abs, Eshan, Sam, Ben (both of them), Lucas, Tom, Beth, James, Chris (all three of them), Daniel (both of them), Sean, Bathie, Simon, Nick, Josh, Stuart, Bridgett, Mel, Kirsten, Ellen, Meaghan, Rachel, Leigh-Teagan, Mackie, Millie, Kat, Kitty, Matt, Robert, Elissa, Leo, Nikhil, and about three others I can't write down here for one reason or another.


October 26, 2012

Bebop and rocksteady are dead.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you're too cute for words.


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Now that we have that unpleasant little tl;dr out of the road: HI! I am your doom.

Last week I was a relative unknown. This week I am still a relative unknown, but my relatives are known. Know one on earth nos me like me and I am not what it says on the tin. Non sum qualis eram.

Name: CJ. Gender: M. Nature: Hardy. Ability: Oblivious. Level 37. Characteristic: somewhat stubborn. Stats: 88/50/49/46/63/50. Come at me.

Blast and a half!

You know what can turn a great mood into a horrible one? A brush with instant pudding. That stuff is lumpier than your footpath's sealing-wax buildup. Though it is cleaner. Also, I can eat your stocks of gravy and not worry, and fire a million pieces of sunlight into the ocean without sneezing.

dirty projectors?

Sing me a song. Not of sixpence. Those things are way outdated anyway.

Look. You coulda been helpful and barely lifted a finger, but instead you decided to be all "fuck you" just because of our history. I think I was being perfectly reasonable. You were not.


October 20, 2012

Ballsy effort.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you've got balls.


stuck in my room doing assignments while my friends are all doing extra life blaaaaaaaaaaaaah

I crush.

(gotta let this go, gotta feel some warmth on my own)

Don't you just hate it when I say absolutely nothing of any value or interest? Except to say that Golden Brown is awesome? Right. I'm done with valuable and interesting stuff.



I had a ball! At the ball... and its after party. Folks saw me there mostly saw me drunk as anything and I am OK with this because being the drunky is more fun than I suspected, and I am going to keep this mission up for a little while. But my garden friends are slowly becoming younger and this just Will Not Do.

I am one step away from moving. Let us do this!

I need something nomworthy. Fooooooood.

rain falls down

Congrats Jen for passing my Extra Life challenge. Though having said that, you nearly didn't and I am OK with this. Also nice dance moves. Now, time for moar funness.


i am spit




October 15, 2012

I got an Extra Life!

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you are just about to be 1-Up'd.


Alternate title: "What the Slender?!"

Those who say that “video games are useless, time-wasting pieces of garbage” can definitely put those words to rest right now. Those who find video games entertaining can put that skill to good use in a number of different ways.

I am a versatile gamer, a jack-of-all-trades. I do not excel at any one genre – rather, I lack some skill in most areas. I do not have the time, the patience, the raw skill. But one thing I am very good at is endurance. I have a never-say-die attitude, and only quit when the situation is mathematically stacked against me. I also know that I can always challenge myself to go higher, stronger, faster – better, and that I never back down on promises if I can help it. So, I decided to put those traits to good use and challenge myself to the 24-hour gaming marathon known as Extra Life.

The genesis of the weekend was in August 2011. Doing my 365 project (one photo every day for a calendar year), I reflected on a LAN party I had been to the previous year and another LAN party that was possibly coming up. I had gamed for basically 24 hours straight (though I had slept enough to be able to drive back home), just playing WarCraft III. (Loved that damned Felhound game!) The idea was to play 24 different games in 24 hours. I drafted the first rules I had for the marathon, and remarkably, it has changed very little. The idea lay reasonably dormant until April 2012, when I combined the idea with Extra Life – a friend of mine, Sam, had done “a game marathon for charity” in October 2011 and I was suddenly inspired.

So, in May 2012, I drafted the first set of games I would complete, the achievements to go with those games, and so on. I thought I'd do it after leaving college, but then I thought of Extra Life and decided to make it a bit more fun. Donations started up, and slowly but surely trickled in. I set the bar at $200, which was all I needed for a free T-shirt from the Extra Life people. That incentive was enough for me, and within four donations I had the $200. But I knew I could do better. I had done fundraising in March 2012 – dyed my brown hair (which I would NEVER EVER DYE SO HELP ME BECAUSE I LOVE THE COLOUR) into a very attractive shade of green, to raise money for the Leukæmia Foundation of Australia. The decision was a hasty one, made with no regard to my dating life1 (which was far too existent at the time), and for both those reasons I raised roughly $285 (the exact figure escapes me, but I know the total in the “cents” column was 66, as someone donated $6.66).

I set the bar higher. I wanted to see exactly how much I could raise – double my hair-dying efforts would be ideal, but given most of my friends are college and uni students (or college/uni age), I didn't see much happening. Of course, I forgot about the one thing that always fascinated me in all my mathematics studies: how so many small numbers can combine to make a huge number. I set people the challenge of extending my $200 to as high as possible, with $1,000 being a very ambitious upper limit. I added incentives along the way: at $400 I would stand on my feet for most of the games, at $500 I would play Slender deep at night and with minimal lighting, at $600 I would wear clothing inappropriate for the weather, at $800 I would not drink any energy drinks, at $1,000 I would take challenges from the audience in between games. I also set myself the target of achieving 16 out of the 24 achievements I'd set myself (because some of them were just too lofty, or I was just playing the game(s) for fun – namely Bubsy).

Within the coming weeks and months, I prepared myself. I knew that I needed three key things: a venue, people, and health-and-safety considerations. The most annoying thing to get was the venue – there are plenty of places around the university, but all of them either booked or not appropriate (or not bookable, for that matter). I had to settle for a venue that was not ideal, and which required more equipment than I originally thought. People was no issue – I billed it as “a LAN party with a sideshow”. Besides, I live at college – plenty of people would rock up, even just passing through. Health-and-safety was the one that gave me the biggest headache – have I got enough stuff to keep me sane and healthy? Water, vitamins, carbs, sports drinks, caffeine? In the end, I settled for what I had and asked a couple of people to stick around as long as they could, to administer first aid if needed.

Remarkably, people were responding to the fundraising challenge. I hit $400 in mid-September, $500 a week later, then $600 within a week of the event. What I certainly did not expect was that the $624 I had raised by midday on October 12 grew to $1,050 by midday on October 13 – the day of the challenge. I had set that exact time as the cutoff for all challenges – if it wasn't in by midday, I wouldn't do it. The final $150 that pushed me up to (and over) the thousand-dollar mark came at 11:59am on the day, so I accepted the challenge.

Game on. The day finally came, and with the last-minute donations I had to offload my energy drinks to those who needed them. I took my equipment to the venue (which is at my college), met my friend, and moved furniture and such around in preparation for a LAN party (which never happened). We set up a live stream, a projector and a stage. Before noon, I had everything ready to go, and then I heard the news that my oldest friend's brother had pushed me over the $1,000 mark. I gritted my teeth, said to myself “one foot goes down” (my ethos) and went for it.

I started out with The Neverhood, a 1995 claymation game that still seems to have a cult following. The challenge was to beat the game within the hour – unfortunately, I made several crucial mistakes during gameplay and only picked up 13 of the 20 required disks.

Following that, the games (and challenges) happened fairly quickly: I passed the Wii Sports challenge of obtaining five medals, then had two disappointments in a row with New Super Mario Bros. 2 and Portal (only the second of which was known to be almost impossible). I capped off the first quarter with two easy victories, in Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Tetris 3D. I was now on three out of six. At that stage, I still felt on top of the world. My feet were starting to feel a little strained from all that standing, but my lower back was feeling it worst of all. Not thinking about how I would be standing, and not taking my 6'3” stature into account, I had picked a table that meant for all the PC games except for Slender, I would be in a very awkward position.

For the next six hours, I (mostly) could not repeat my success. The InstaGib Capture The Flag against the CPU in Unreal Tournament 2004 was a tie game, and not the victory I needed. The 30-turn Battle Royale in Mario Party 8 turned out to be too long, and though I was in a good position, only 13 turns were played before time expired. I made a crucial mistake during Pokémon Black (technically my final DS game) and ended up not getting anywhere near the Super Single stage. A misbehaving StarCraft II was changed last minute to BIT.TRIP BEAT, but even that proved too difficult. I had a last second reprieve during Mario Kart Wii – my intense concentration and hours and hours of gameplay gave me the three flawless victories I needed – with almost literally seconds to spare.

Perhaps the biggest source of annoyance among the crowd was when I played Bubsy: Claws Encounter Of The Furred Kind. I never grew up with a SNES and so was deprived of this cartoonishly fun game, but I intended to attempt a (very ambitious!) speedrun, and if I didn't get anywhere I'd still have a bit of fun. The jazzy in-game music was a tension-alleviator, particularly since I was now twelve hours in, and feeling a little more tense than I perhaps should have. At the time, though, I was feeling mentally and physically OK, with the exception of my feet and back. Starting to feel a bit worn at the time, but otherwise fine. The pizza I had during Mario Party and the jelly after BIT.TRIP BEAT probably helped. Post-midnight, I kicked off with a massive standard deathmatch win in Age Of Empires 2, and followed it up with a fail-and-a-half during Super Paper Mario. Then came the moment a lot of people had been waiting for: Slender: The Eight Pages.

Unfortunately for those watching the livestream during Slender, there really wasn't much to be seen because the lights were turned off and the sound was increased. Two of the audience members (both very silly) decided also to poke fun: one by fake-screaming, the other by putting on a fake falsetto Southern accent and generally bringing the mood to annoyance rather than scaredness. I most likely would have been very stoic if not for them, though I did jump when Slender Man teleported a couple of times. Mostly I swore not out of shock, but out of “god DAMN you video game, I was so close”. I ended up scoring four pages out of eight in the best case.

To get me through the hardest part of the night – physically and mentally – I opted for Fruit Ninja, Borderlands 2 and WarioWare, Inc. with goals I thought were easy enough. However, I was very tired by this point and Fruit Ninja failed miserably. Significant speedrun progress through Borderlands 2 meant I succeeded in my achievement, and the simple goal in WarioWare meant I was able to achieve that one. I was now at 6am, and light was creeping up on the horizon. I pushed on.

A problem with the Rise Of Nations game meant I only achieved my win on a technicality. Nevertheless, I took the win and ran with it. I also took the win during Pokémon Battle Revolution when I managed to defeat not one, but two Masters sets. Spelunky, however, proved to be insanely difficult – my best efforts were thwarted time and time again by Derek Yu's sadism. However, it was now 9am, and time for the home stretch. Mentally, and physically, I was worn out. I doubt people would have blamed me for throwing in the towel at that point, but I was refusing to surrender. Remember that never-say-die attitude?

My last Wii game was Wii Sports Resort. I was only able to achieve one stamp, possibly because I had achieved the bulk of achievements during the summer of 2011, and possibly also because I was wiped. My last handheld game was Kirby: Nightmare In Dream Land; this I attacked as best I could, but whilst I allowed myself to sit down for this one, I probably would have fared better standing up as I nearly fell asleep twice.

At 11am, I started my last game, the freeware PC game I Have No Tomatoes. By this point, I had achieved 9 out of 23, and needed to smash 1,200 tomatoes within the hour to achieve 10 out of 24 (a nice round number). I was also bizarrely energised by now, as I could feel the home stretch coming to a close. I could feel the audience who had left after Slender trickling in again as I concentrated on not screwing up, and smashing as many tomatoes as I could. After three games, I had a total of 864 tomatoes; I needed no less than 336 in the final game (which I only just had time for) to complete the achievement. By the end of level nine, I had 332. This was going to be easy. As soon as I smashed the 336th, everyone in attendance gave me a round of applause. I responded by pausing the game, turning to them, and bowing.

I managed to smash another 23 tomatoes before the game was finished, then I collapsed into a sitting position on the stage. We checked the cash donations that had been given, and I ended up with an extra $31.50, bringing my total to $1,154.50 over the months I had been asking for donations. I reiterated to the audience and livestream (and later Facebook) about how proud I was of everyone, and they reiterated how proud they were of me. For the first time, while wearing my orange Extra Life T-shirt (which, by the way, has the word “HERO” emblazoned on it), I truly did feel like a hero.

It's worth noting all the one-minute challenges I did in between games as well. In order:
  • 1:00pm – as many forward rolls as possible (I managed 10)
  • 2:00pm – as many pushups as possible (I managed 42)
  • 3:00pm – sing the entirety of Pretty Fly For A White Guy (I managed two-thirds of the song)
  • 4:00pm – play CLOP (I did fairly OK)
  • 5:00pm – dance the Gangnam Style dance (did as best I could)
  • 6:00pm – Jen's Video Game Trivia Quiz (two questions right out of seven)
  • 7:00pm – run from one end of the college to the other (passed well and truly)
  • 8:00pm – scull cans of Fanta (I got through two)
  • 9:00pm – call someone and ask them on a juice date (succeeded2)
  • 10:00pm – another video game trivia quiz (three correct out of seven this time)
  • 11:00pm – jump like Mario for a minute (well and truly passed)
  • 12:00am – kiss another guy (all too easy – I am a gay chicken veteran)
  • 1:00am – arm wrestle two people (failed it something shocking)
  • 2:00am – crush 16 cans (did so – including one full one. Damn trolls!)
  • 3:00am – complete three brainteasers (did so within 37 seconds)
  • 4:00am – as many “burpees” as possible (managed 38)
  • 5:00am – beat New Super Mario Bros. 2, world 1-1 (succeeded)
  • 6:00am – impersonate David Attenborough (did so, with the subject being a sleepy friend)
  • 7:00am – drink a creaming soda with a Mentos inside it (tasted awful!)
  • 8:00am – tell as many puns as possible on a given topic (surprisingly, failed!)
  • 9:00am – do a silly walk (passed, well and truly. I was wiped by then)
  • 10:00am – guess a minute (I guessed 1'02.13”)
  • 11:00am – thank everyone involved with the marathon.

Myself and six others packed all the equipment and food up, returned the hall to its original state, and left.

Got home. Got back on Facebook. Read all my fifty unread notifications (which had apparently accumulated thanks to some dogged work by my Facebook friends to get the word out about the livestream). Slept.

  1. Having said that, my green hair attracted me two girlfriends.
  2. And I went on said juice date, with a good friend. Juice was had, and proof has been uploaded.


October 12, 2012

Make me a believer.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you are in the eye of the storm.


So, part of the whirlwind is done. I now can has a medal and the medal is shiny. That shiny medal goes in a collection with my other shiny medals. As a result, however, my legs are screwed. Damn! I miss the Curryland pentathlon now.

And on that note:





the beats the beats

there is a piece of paper in my pocket because i put it in there to remember a phrase, a thing, an idea, something that randomly jumped into my head for some reason or another it doesn't matter, but when i pulled it out again it was all smudgy and i couldn't read it, and the idea has been lost forever...


I have fallen in love with these girls again

Don't blame it on your shadows.

After the math of yesterday, I was utterly beaten. And bruised. And sleepy. I think I put myself through far too much yesterday, but I was at least reprieved of one. And now I relax.

Tomorrow, I die.


October 10, 2012

You're not allowed to go until I fuck with you.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And yours is a very distinctive IP address.


My day tomorrow, as per Curryland protocol.

  • 07:00 - awaken.
  • 07:01 - fall back asleep. (Curryland has very strict rules about this.)
  • 07:03 - awaken again.
  • 07:04 - doze.
  • 07:11 - awaken, because now the minutes digits read one prime number higher than the hours digits.
  • 07:30 - get out of bed.
  • 08:00 - get out of bedroom. Eat breakfast. Two pieces of toast (don't bring me only one piece!)
  • 08:30 - get out of suburb.
  • 09:30 - with luck, pick up a friend of mine from the airport. The whole thing is a ridiculously amazingly awesome airport run. This is gonna be good.
  • 11:00 - first class of the day. Couldn't care less about it.
  • 12:00 - warm up and prep for the relay around town. Eat second breakfast.
  • 13:00 - do the whirlwind.
  • 14:00 - finish the whirlwind and kick off the class thing again. Maybe lunch.
  • 15:00 - scoot away to le shoppingness. Do the shop and get le out ASAP. Maybe lunch.
  • 17:00 - dinner. Omnomnomnom.
  • 18:00 - not quite sure. It's fifty fifty between ze bar and ze arcadium stadium. Yay!
  • 20:30 - definitely ze bar. Start le musique!
  • 22:00 - stop the music. I CAN'T STOP THE MUSIC? How dare you!
  • 00:00 - the day ends. But my night kicks off..
My day is gonna be busy. So is my week.
  • Thursday: as above.
  • Friday: get thyself ready for the weekend.
  • Saturday: do the whirlwind again. I love that whirlwind!
  • Sunday: finish the whirlwind, and possibly... sleep.
  • Monday: do the boring. Fucking assignments.
  • Tuesday: there ain't much more whirlwinding to do.
  • Wednesday: hopefully get much more of a leg up on the boring.
  • Thursday: my last guaranteed hoo-rah. Let's make it a good one.
I have two more planned Experiences coming up quick-fire. Be on the lookout for them.


October 6, 2012

That is the sound of your death.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you're going to pretend you never saw this.


Let there be a hundred and fifty-first episode!

So, there shall be blood. Here is my list of video games, (possibly) signed and sealed and finalised:

  1. THE NEVERHOOD (PC, on feet) - clock the game
  2. WII SPORTS (Wii, on feet) - earn five medals
  3. NEW SUPER MARIO BROS 2 (3DS) - collect 10,000+ coins in Coin Rush
  4. PORTAL (PC, on feet) - complete six achievements in Challenge Chamber mode
  5. SUPER SMASH BROS BRAWL (Wii, on feet) - beat randomly-selected CPUs
  6. TETRIS 3D (3DS) - accumulate three million points in any game mode
  7. UNREAL TOURNAMENT 2004 (PC, on feet) - win an InstaGib CTF
  8. MARIO PARTY 8 (Wii, on feet) - win a 30-turn party
  9. POKÉMON BLACK (NDS) - attempt a Super streak at the Subway
  10. STARCRAFT II (PC, on feet) - obtain four achievements
  11. MARIO KART WII (Wii, on feet) - score flawless victories against the hardest CPUs
  12. BUBSY (SNES emulated with PC) - clock the game
  13. AGE OF EMPIRES 2 (PC, on feet) - win a standard deathmatch
  14. SUPER PAPER MARIO (Wii, on feet) - win a postgame challenge
  15. SLENDER (PC) - collect all eight pages
  16. MARIO KART 7 (3DS) - obtain 200 VR
  17. BORDERLANDS 2 (PC, on feet) - complete five missions
  18. WARIOWARE, INC. (GBA emulated with 3DS) - get a 100-win streak
  19. RISE OF NATIONS (PC, on feet) - win a tech race
  20. POKÉMON BATTLE REVOLUTION (Wii, on feet) - beat a Masters set
  21. SPELUNKY (PC, on feet) - open a new door
  22. KIRBY'S NIGHTMARE IN DREAM LAND (GBA) - beat Meta Knightmare
  23. WII SPORTS RESORT (Wii, on feet) - obtain five stamps
  24. I HAVE NO TOMATOES (PC, on feet) - smash 1,200 tomatoes
This thing is taking place over the weekend of the 13th and 14th. BRING IT THE HELL ON.

And... that's all I got for you, for now. Except to say that after the math I will present an account of it.


September 29, 2012

Organise a riot

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And don't look, or it takes you.


Now, I've written a blog. I've had nothing but trouble ever since I did it, not to mention more than a few unkind words as regard to my character, so let me make this abundantly clear. Today, I figure it's about time you learn actual stuff about me, rather than guessing shit.

So. Let's start with the fact that I'm a fourth-year university student, and it's my last year at college this year. It's a pretty simple concept, and this simple concept is about to end. I'm moving out at the end of the year. Not sure where to, but I'll work it out.

I am a nihilist - specifically, existential nihilism. As a result I don't give a tinker's toss about my own life and/or happiness. Sure, I have the normal fight-or-flight response, and I groom myself (somewhat) and am vain, but I don't consciously care too much about the big picture - just the small stuff. Not sure what that'll amount to, but I'll work it out.

I am an atheist - specifically, agnostic atheism. As a result I am open to the idea of religion, but won't convert until and unless I see compelling evidence. Not sure where I'll find this evidence, if it exists, but I'll work it out.

I'm stuck squarely in the future. I love technology, cyberpunky stuff, science fiction, and so on. I also am very good with computers and video games. I don't like the past and I don't have the patience for the future. Not sure how that affects me in the long run, but I'll work it out.

I hate being single. This has been made pretty clear to me for some time. But it ain't likely to change any time soon. But I'll work it out.

I work things out as I go along. It seems to me to be the best way to live life, to make things up as I go. To make my own future, to carve my own path... so, I wanna do number theory.

Last: I am still writing this garbage and will do so for quite a while.

 1 555 000
11 5   0 0
 1 555 0 0
 1   5 0 0
 1 555 000


September 25, 2012

Bring your favourite lady.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And your face is now quite, quite itchy.


So, here's my summary of the latest video games to hit my PC, Wii and DS screens.

BORDERLANDS 2: a very sweet game. Just different enough, and just similar enough, to its predecessor to make it just as fun. Love the writing - it has just as much humour as the original - and the AI is FUCKING BADASS. I am the deadly assassin Zer0 and I cannot be happier. Screw Axton and all those chumps. But hell, I applaud the niceness of this game. A lot.

NEW SUPER MARIO BROS 2: in contrast, this sequel left me wanting more. It took me a matter of hours to beat the main campaign, and only a few more to finish everything that isn't a huge grind. The levels are kinda cool, but the amount of levels (in comparison to previous games) is pitiful. It took me a maximum of two playthroughs to collect all the star coins and moon coins. Not great. Not bad graphics though.

PIKMIN 2: it's a bit older, but hell, I ain't complaining. Much better than its predecessor - though there isn't a time limit, the strategy required is a lot bigger. Also the story line is kinda cool too - not exactly post-apocalyptic or dystopian, but not too bad either way. I love the new Pikmin too. I look like I'm going to hundred-percent it fairly quickly, but only because I like Pikmin 1. And I sure as hell can't wait for the third.

SLENDER: spooky enough.

UPLINK: hmm, not too shabby. Bit older, but I enjoy it. Probably because I like the whole cyberpunky/futuristic stuff, but also probably because I have aspirations of becoming a computer genius too. Without the hacking and shit. But hey... I'll survive if I don't.

PLANTS VS. ZOMBIES: deadly fun. I love the cartoonish silliness of this simple yet fun strategy game. Mind, cartoonish silliness always seems to appeal to me. I do enjoy it, and I enjoy the fact that plants can one day stop the zombie apocalypse. But hey.

PROFESSOR LAYTON AND THE LAST SPECTRE: OK, first, I hate that it's spelled "specter" on the cover, because clearly we don't spell it like that. But if you get beyond that, much like its predecessors I love the puzzles. I was able to get a number of them a lot quicker than in the first game because they have a nice, similar feel to most of them, though I do still get some nice surprises. Also London Life is my dream come true.

NERF N-STRIKE: It came with a Nerf gun. The game itself did not appeal.

On my list next:
--Black & White 2 (original was fun. Bring on the sequel.)
--Sins Of A Solar Empire: Rebellion (original was fun. Bring on the sequel.)

Currently hanging out for:
--Pokémon Black 2 And White 2 (original was fun. Bring on the sequel.)
--Super Smash Bros. 3D/Wii U (Brawl was fun. Bring on the sequel.)
--Pikmin 3 (originals were fun. Bring on the sequel.)
--Paper Mario: Sticker Star (originals were fun. Bring on the sequel.)

I think you got my gaming habits down now.


September 18, 2012

End of an error.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you will ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD


Our time is up. You have failed to prevent the year-ending process, and this... is... the... end............. To finish the game, even though we are done, you'll need the following information: 66 days, 12 hours, 53 minutes.

Yep. It's happened. The first signs of me moving out are happening: I've apparently been replaced in my job. So, next year, the team will be under new management (and they will be hella relieved, for that matter), and I wish my successor luck.

So. Down to business. What's happening around the world? Mitt Romney is suffering again, Israel might be launching an attack on Iran, Wills and Kate are looking to hunt down paparazzi, Boy Scouts are in a sex abuse scandal, and a man has tried to fly in an AEROPLANE with a monkey in his pants. In his defence, somebody told him that he was "monkeying about" and he just took it a fraction literally.

Next: what's happening in Australia? Nothing. Just pollies, suits, and other bigwigs arguing and complaining about how this country has been run and how it should be run. Although goon bags are now high fashion, thanks largely to Swedes. Are you fucking kidding me? Goon in a handbag? Criminy...

Next: what's happening in my life? I've jumped out of a moving train, scored three hundred and one in a game of tenpin bowling, stocked my fridge with raspberries, almost won the right to play video games, called shots, and sung Feel The Love by Rudimental while feeling exceedingly happy on a fine Sunday morning (causing people to think I got laid the night before).

Music you should be singing, but I am instead:

  • Running (Disclosure rmx) - Jessie Ware
  • Feel The Love - Rudimental
  • Toucan Wing - BoomBaptist
  • Polish Girl - Neon Indian
  • Idea Of Happiness - Van She
  • Nicodeine Crush / Aquaflash - Rachel Haircut
  • Hanging On - Active Child
  • Can't Get Better Than This (Jeff Drake rmx) - Parachute Youth
  • Jacquelyn Hyde - MC Frontalot
  • Baguette? - Tyler Touché
  • Warrior - Mark Foster & A-Trak ft. Kimbra
  • Catgroove - Parov Stelar

So for those who read but aren't aware, I'm doing Extra Life. Just like my hair-dying job in March, I'm hoping to raise a bunch of money for kid's hospitals. Donate here and watch me go crazy in the coconut come October!

We'll catch our very last train, light our very last flame,
knock it all back and forget our names
'cause it's our last night, and it's one last fight
We're the last ones, the last ones standing.

(with apologies to Example)

Oh, and one more thing:

XUBUNTU 12.04 (glChess) vs. WINDOWS 7 (Chess Titans)

1. e4 e5 2. Nf3 Nc6 3. Bb5 a6 4. Ba4 Nf6 5. 0-0 Nxe4 6. d4 b5 7. d5 bxa4 8. Qe1 f5 9. dxc6 d6 10. Nc3 Nxc3 11. Qxc3 Be6 12. Ng5 Bg8 13. Qd3 f4 14. Nf3 Be7 15. Rd1 Qb8 16. Qe4 (White is setting up something sneaky here...) Qb5 17. Bxf4 exf4 18. Re1 0-0-0?? (oops! Possibly Black's biggest mistake) 19. Qxe7 Qxb2 20. Rab1 Qf6 21. Qe2 (there is nothing left for Black now. White has successfully rushed against an attempted steamroll. Even 21. ...Re8 or even 21. ...Rd7, to give the king an escape option, are both thwarted by 22. Qa8. Every other move is just delaying the inevitable) g6 22. Qxa6# 1-0

WINDOWS 7: 1 win, 1 loss from 2 games
XUBUNTU 12.04: 1 win, 1 loss from 2 games
MAC OS X: 0 games


September 9, 2012

Holy carp!

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And this time, maybe, I'll be bulletproof.


Crap. Is it that time of time again when I have to make a serious post? Well FUCK THAT.

Boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes of crazy.

Curse! iBox has been foiled again / The mountainneering club is a false hope


The heat in the box is the craftwork of the cheese and the box on the left has a poor man's sleep inside.

From Apanickahh: "the elf liked his new lion box very much, for it was so very furry and comfortable to lie on".

I don't believe that I am crazy in the coconut. I only believe that I am crazy in the breadbox. And on that note, the most recent result of a game of Boxes that I have been playing:

._._._._.  ._._._._.
|  ._._._|   |_._.  ._|
|  |  .  .  .   .  .  |  |  .
|  |_._._.   ._._|  |  .
|_._._._|   |_._._|  .

Flawless and boxless victory!

BOX = OBX = XBO = 41 = BXO = OXB = XOB

We have no Xboxes.

box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box tox box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box fox box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box lox box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box pox box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box cox box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box box


September 4, 2012

Build up castles.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And we apologise for the delay.


Point A: Jayne Cobb's hat.

Point B: I have gotten a lot closer to 100% on Borderlands. So my plan is to have those four games - precisely those four games - listed in the last post done by September's end. Four games per month. One per week. Do-able. Especially with holidays coming up. Aeroplane.

Point C: Punch it.

Point D: ah, hell with the points. I'm sick of them already. All I know is aeroplanes and jelly and I'm now hungry. FUCK. Welp, time to grab some blood oranges.








Blood oranges are MY VICE.

'Scuse me.



Whew. That exhausted me. And now I'm going to write in a maths joke, just like I've done every post so far: the level cap on Borderlands. Hee!

Five random pieces of advice:

  • Fill every beat with something.
  • Think of the radio.
  • Ask your body.
  • Decorate, decorate.
  • Accept advice.
Thanks to Messrs. Eno and Schmidt, I am able to give that advice.

cheds. and a baguette. BLOW YA SPEAKERS.


August 17, 2012


I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you are about to lose The Game, again and again.



Shazap. I have appeared and ruined whatever fun you were just having five seconds ago. Time to be even more wreckworthy, in my opinion. The method shall be aeroplane, the timing shall be plenty, and there will be the sound of violins being played with orchestral manœuvres at, erm, night-time.


hear an alley cat?

Here is a Curryland employee and resident and friend and servant whom I wish to have you meet. His name is JakJak and three of his five senses are missing. Thankfully he makes up for it by having supremely awesomely amazing senses of sight and taste. He can also speak five hundred languages and jump off the Eiffel Tower without so much as a scratch. Oy!

Also, Julian Assange is in the news again. Bastard. Why can't I be in the news? Curryland needs all the promotioningness it can get!

Games that are next on my list for completion:

  • Professor Layton IV (and London Life)
  • Borderlands
  • Wii Cricket
  • Pikmin 2

Unfortunately, due to a snafu earlier today, I am forced somewhat to make this a short post, leave you lot to your fun, and hold over the content I was going to post today next time. Which should be within a week.

I'm dangerous... and we are the people who'll rule the world.


August 13, 2012

Dozen! Dozen!

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you just had an all-consuming powerful urge to feed this text through text-to-speech to find out what I really sound like, across the other side of the digital void.


I wish to be the leader of a messed-up generation. Much like Cæsar, I will take on the title CJ. I would, of course, change leadership every 525,600 minutes, from CJ to CJ, passing it down the line of CJs. Until finally, one day, the messed-up generation will no longer be messed-up and I'll have to find a new land to take over. One that grows cheese and lemmings in rye fields.

...and I expect you to be crushed!!!

Right in front of my face... sits a pile of papers. Right in front of that pile of papers... sits a keyboard. Right in front of that keyboard... is a monitor. Right in front of that monitor... is a pile of bottle caps. Right in front of those bottle caps... is a pen. Sitting there like a pen. Right in front of that pen... is a Wii. Right in front of that Wii... is a mouse. Right in front of that mouse... is a receipt. Right in front of that receipt... is evidence that my desk is overwhelmingly cluttered.

...or else I will end you!!!


...this is your final warning!!!


...I will fuck you up!!!

I've got the key, I've got the secret. In my heart I locked a secret, but your leaving was the key. OUT OF THE SKY. Hoo-fuckin'-ray. Beat that on your drum, get ravey, and, erm, just have fun. Okay? Seriously, kids these days...

Also, for those who were wondering:
WINDOWS 7 (Chess Titans) vs. XUBUNTU 12.04 (glChess)
1. d4 Nf6 2. c4 e6 3. Nc3 Bb4 4. Nf3 b6 5. g3 Ba6 6. Qa4 c5 7. Bg2 Bxc4 8. Nd2 Bd5 9. Nxd5 exd5 10. dxc5 bxc5 11. Qb3 Bxd2+ 12. Bxd2 c4 13. Qe3+ Qe7 14. Qxe7+ Kxe7 15. Bc3 Ke6 16. Bxf6 gxf6 17. 0-0-0 Nc6 18. Bxd5+ Kf5 19. Rd2 Ne5 20. Bxa8 (at this point, some human Black players would resign) Rxa8 21. f4 c3 22. bxc3 Nc4 23. Rxd7 Re8 24. Rxf7 (White is clearly overwhelming Black) Rxe2 25. Rxa7 Rd2 26. Ra4 Nb2 27. Rb4 Nc4 28. a4 Re2 29. Rxc4 h6 (Black surely must be giving up by now) 30. h3 h5 31. Rd1 Ke6 32. Rc6+ Kf5 33. Rdd6 Re1+ 34. Kd2 Rb1 35. Rxf6+ Ke4 36. Rce6+ Kf3 37. Re3+ Kf2 38. f5 Rb7 39. Rd6 Rc7 40. f6 Rc4 41. f7 Rc8 42. Re8 Kg1 43. Rxc8 Kf2 44. f8Q+ Kxg3 45. Rg6+ Kxh3 46. Qf1+ (nail in the coffin) Kh4 47. Qh1# 1-0
WINDOWS 7: 1 win from 1 game
XUBUNTU 12.04: 1 loss from 1 game
MAC OS X: 0 games


August 6, 2012

When I count three...

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And, back in the days of your, yore all wrong with you're usage of "your", "yore" and "you're".


Coming up this season: we will pit Windows 7, Mac OS 10.5.8 and Xubuntu 12.04 against each other in a bitter round-robin grudge-match series of chess; we will discuss the finer points of yoghurt, freaky electronica and cooch grass; we will have a look back at the last four years in great in-depth detail, relapse and decide not to do it ever again.

One fine day. In two, the weakly. North west three.

I recently interviewed the aspects of my psyche, according to Freud, and here's what they had to say:

  1. THE EGO: Hey, CJ, I think it's time for you to get off Blogspot and go to sleep.
  2. THE ID: FuHUCK that. Sleep deprivation is awesome!
    THE EGO: You have to drive in the morning. Get some snooze.
    THE ID: You've done this before. Remember when you stayed up all night watching Evangelion?
    THE EGO: You also have to work. Work before pleasure!
    THE ID: But you're gonna feel so good when you finally go to sleep!
    THE EGO: Be responsible and go to sleep.
    THE ID: You only live once, bitch!
  3. THE SUPEREGO: This looks like a play. The Ego and The Id look like they're scripted characters playing the parts of the shoulder-angel and shoulder-devil, respectively. My part looks... not very much like a superego and more like a narrator. I think we should end this bizarre ritual here.
    [THE ID and THE EGO look at THE SUPEREGO.]
    THE SUPEREGO: Also, you sleep, you live longer and you get work done better tomorrow.
    THE ID: Piss off!
    THE EGO: [at the same time] Piss off!
    [THE SUPEREGO slinks off. THE ID and THE EGO are about to resume their argument, but they hear a loud roar. Both exit, pursued by a bear.]
Cricket stumps. Sides of a triangle. Amount of Sims games (currently) on the market, excluding expansion packs and "stuffpacks".

gasp gasp gasp
I should offer straws to people who've just run a marathon. They will be gasping at straws.

ring ring ring
What if Mr. Watson was in some kind of trouble, and required Alexander Graham's assistance? Mr. Watson would have been saved by a Bell.

hell hell hell
Mrs. Handbasket's daughter Helen was always a handful, and got even worse as she grew up. She therefore decided to nickname her Helena Handbasket.


uu uu uwa uwa
uu uu uwa uwa
uu uu uwa uwa


John and Jim were born on the same day, to the same mother, in the same hospital, within three minutes. They are not twins. Why not?

Alright, that's it. I'm actually off. Have fun, folks!


July 29, 2012

You can't find me on Steam.

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you're just dancing on it.


I consider this my swansong semester at college. So I'm going to make it a fun one by making fun of as many people as I can. Including, but not limited to, people I've met recently. And on that note, I need to introduce you lot to the newest weird person in my life. The name is Bek, also known as Mr. Bek. I met Mr. Bek upon entry to the electric monster's world, whereupon I also took on two further concurrent titles: Prime Minister Curry and Strange Uncle Curry. This suits me just fine. Anyhow, Mr. Bek has brought moar crazy into my life. I am OK with this.

Hee! "Strange uncle".

I am hungry. I did eat breakfast, but somehow my metabolism is way too awesome to be ignored. Annoyance. Anonymous. Enormous. I wish to eat further and investigate properties of eating that contain the blasted heath and purple socks with plaid stripes in the morning of the last day of twilight's... ah dammit, I've been hit by a crazy ray again (like a death ray, only crazy). I therefore have only about a dozen words before I break down completely into crazy delusion. Three. Two. One.

meeeeeeeeeep. shwarrr.

Mr. Bek wears a red baseball helmet.

ferp, and doux too. For no reason.

In closing, let me summarise the fact that my sleep-deprived state has again provided me with an awesome insight into the world of insanity, the fact that pretty soon I will be leaving one environment and moving to another (which is no huge secret anyway, I just figured you'd like to know), the fact that I thought that we could have been sharing more than brothers, the fact that the Stabiliser-Orbit Theory is mighty powerful, the fact that I am totally screwed, the fact that my room, kitchen and desk are all absolutely messy, the fact that for once I am ahead on all my homework and study, and the fact that I may be getting another cold (FUCK) all at once by saying just one word: FUCK.


July 22, 2012

Like what I've done with the place?

I am CJ Curry. This is the Experience. And you are about to collapse in a screaming heap.


July is rolling to a close and has decided to become a burden on me. That statement has absolutely no relevance to the plot of this blog and will be discontinued immediately upon cessation of this paragraph. Rest assured, all the cow orkers I have at this facility will be immediately fired.

I believe it's a Curryland tradition to introduce myself at the start of each season, just like it's tradition to sacrifice the virgin at certain rituals. That being said, if you don't like it, you simply have the option to switch off. Haters gonna hate and all that shit, but I hate haters and I say "hater haters gonna hate haters". I'm also going to be lazy (hater haters gonna hate haters) and steal all the data for this post from my Wikipedia page.

It began with a name...
...and that name was CJ.

CJ is currently under the influence of several thousand psychedelic drugs, including oxygen and pandolinium, to name a few. He believes he was born in the year 1990, but in reality, he was probably born closer to the year 1989. We don't[citation needed] know for certain when he was born, but we know that: a) somebody was obviously playing a CORNY JOKE on the universe, and b) he was born, thus completing God's greatest mistake. 

CJ was born to be a blogger. From age 2, he was a reader of Melways and a CALCULATOR JOCKEY. This led him naturally into computer science and mathematics. From computers, it was a pretty easy[citation needed] step to blogging. The randomness exhibited in some blogs is a product of his imagination, sleep deprivation, bad psychotropic habit, and cheese. The cheese was not authorised by Curryland authorities.

Eventually, CJ did indeed graduate high school (at unknown age), went to university (at unknown age, but we presume the two are unrelated), and naturally studied to become a COMPUTER JERK. He runs Windows 7 Pro SP1, Mac OS 10.5.8 and Xubuntu 12.04. He describes himself as "pansexual, that is, if computers were sexuality".

CJ's friends best describe him as a maths nerd[citation needed], a CHEESY JESTER, and a freak of nature. Of those, only two are strictly correct. CJ has poor general knowledge - just enough to help him win some trivia nights - ergo, he is better described as a maths geek. He is also described as someone who "plans things meticulously" and with "horrifyingly deliberate precision", but that he "can also go with the flow" and "is flexible". These four descriptions all come from CJ himself.

(Incidentally, it is worth noting that CJ is responsible for creating a whole new genre of music. Dissatisfied with the smoothness of smooth jazz, the acidity of acid jazz, the fuses in jazz fusion and the generality of generic jazz, he invented a whole new style that took jazz to a new level. It's not cool. It's not cold. It's colder than cool, it's CRYOGENIC JAZZ. The jazz has not been authorised by Curryland media.)

It has often been said that CJ lacks a birthday. The only hint he has given on this matter is that he "last celebrated it roughly four years ago". CJ clearly lacks CAKE JOY, but also states that "the cake is a lie". All that is known is his age, which is 22. A team of investigators is currently researching this claim: first, to see if it is correct; second, to see what base the number 22 is in.

Finally, it is[citation needed] worth noting that CJ has quoted that "CJ stands for just about anything you want it to". He is CLEARLY JOSHING.

Whew. Sorted. Now I am about to embark on a journey of 65 days, though that could just as easily be cut down to as few as 39. Season Eight shall be a big one. Don't touch that QWERTY.

(Incidentally, I have finished Evangelion.)


June 23, 2012

That boy needs therapy!

the end is nigh.


See extra large. I like this.

So, it's time for the season finale. Again. Thus endeth the seventh season of the CJ Curry Experience, and my god, it was a fucked-up season. Here's a quick summary.
  1. Mid February. I explained who Biscuit was, showed you my personal history, and wondered what the hell Johnny cakes were. In real life I was mindfucking myself.
  2. Mid February. I asked what love, happiness, comfort and π were, explained the Curryland tax on randomness, and welcomed a bunch of n00bs to the machine. Which I also did out there in the analogue void.
  3. Early March. The drama was happening in my life as I wrote about DNA, a couple of people I'd met in the past week and a half, and mashed my keyboard.
  4. Early March. There was nothing else to do except escape from the still-dramatic drama and procrastinate by dying my hair and talking to Clarabell the Cow. Babylon.
  5. Mid March. Explained stuff in ten parts, though the seventh part was done twice and the final part was the ninth. I also invented the word "plarqet".
  6. Mid March. I seemed obsessed with green, since that was the colour of my hair. I was also obsessed with the White Lion.
  7. Late March. My life in ten stardates, but I also managed to squeeze in a little bit about being amazed. Also a hedgehog. I like hedgehog. (Someone asked if I was obsessed with suricata.)
  8. Early April. Somehow I was inspired to write fiction. How dare I do that, when there's stupidity and randomness to be written! But I wrote about someone crazy in the coconut. That makes up for it.
  9. Mid April. It was all music lyrics. I swear. A full list follows. Reality had sunk in and I was attempting to be classworthy and collegeworthy and friendshipworthy. With some success. Balance is win.
  10. Mid April. 'Twas time to show off my new-found chav nature and obsession with LISP. Also my fangirlishness et al.
  11. Late April. The experiment to shock a nation: what happens when CJ doesn't have any ideas or inspiration? He gets eaten by a velociraptor. Don't worry, I got better.
  12. Early May. Possibly the most boring post I wrote all season, to reflect the fact that nothing of interest was happening in my life at the time. Early May is always a hum-de-hum.
  13. Early May. A tour of Curryland for the uninitiated (and believe me, there are always uninitiated people every year). Stuck to the hum-de-hum.
  14. Mid May. I wrote another newspost. I love doing those because I get to be punny! I also get to poke fun at as many politicians as I can.
  15. Late May. Sleep-deprived, I struggled with topology and Melbourne WTF weather. Also killed my GPU. Also got saddled with more drama and work than I could handle, as the unthinkable semi-thinkable happened. Again. But I handled it.
  16. Early June. Lost the Game, won the musics. Seems as though one in every ten posts is musical. I really did make that mix. I loved it.
  17. Early June. Figured I'd best get a wriggle on as exams started happening. So my post frequency started increasing a little. And I played out the first few moves of a chess game.
  18. Mid June. My list of games, purely for your interest. Mind, at the time I was halfway through exam study, so probably not a good idea...
  19. Mid June. A few surveys, in order to give you lot a deeper understanding about the inner workings of my mind.
  20. Late June. Possibly the latest in June I've ever posted. Talked about the season, wrapped it up nicely with a little bow, and gave it specially to YOU. (No, not you. YOU.)
So. That list I promised.
  • Niton (The Reason) - Eric Prydz
  • Holding The Moth - Underworld
  • Right Time - Kaskade
  • And I'm Telling You - Gramophonedzie
  • All These Things - Darren Hanlon
  • Time To Pretend - MGMT
  • Keep It Goin' (Louder) - Major Lazer
  • Slide - Tommy Trash
  • It's Our Future - Awex
  • Home - Chakra
  • Galore - Style Of Eye
  • Say You Will - Kajmere ft. Dajee
  • Papillon - Editors
  • Because - Hi Fi Serious
  • Tout Est Bleu - Jean-Michel Jarre
  • I Still Love You - Switch
  • Could This Be Real - Sub Focus
  • Sad Song - Au Revoir Simone
  • Inside - Bang Gang
  • Heartbeat - Annie (a mondegreen)
  • With Every Heartbeat - Robyn
  • With Or Without You - U2
  • Foreign Language - Flight Facilities ft. Jess
  • Love For Granted - Phoenix
  • No Stopping Us - Kic Pimpz
  • Forever - Dee Dee
  • Precious Heart - Tall Paul
  • Magic Love - Bent
  • Swimming Pool - Catcall
  • Wonders Never Cease - Morcheeba
  • Mass Destruction - Faithless
  • Remember (To The Millennium) - The Morrighan
  • Bangarang - Skrillex
I'm now going to scoot away for a while, unfuck myself, and prepare for season 8. Coming at you in late July, maybe early August if I don't pull my finger out of my arsehole and get going straightaway. Also keep 'em peeled for the FYP editions, coming in seasons 9 and 10!

See you in July!

*ahem* For those who have been patient enough to scroll down, here is a season eight preview:
  • I shall study discrete algebraic structures, network and web security, operating systems and applied statistics. Gods help me. (post ~1)
  • It's about time for me to pass the baton. I've been running this race for quite a while now, so someone else is going to take over. (post ~7)
  • I shall run, I shall smack (with a racquet), I shall hit (with a pool cue) and I shall do more of the fun-filled leisure activities I've been doing for ages. (posts ~7 and ~16)
  • Finally, I will get through all of Neon Genesis Evangelion. (post... actually, that could be anywhere)
  • One episode will be dedicated solely to my mission log. My mission: Extra Life. To be carried out in mid-October. I aim for 16/24, wish me luck and sponsoringness! (post ~14)
  • My seventh ball. I've not said much about the other six - a special post, perhaps. (post ~15)
  • I say a final farewell to, and have my final hoo-rah at, the place that has housed me so well for four years. (post 17-20 - a four-part special, perhaps?)

June 20, 2012

No, I will NOT do your damn surveys!

doing alright.


I stole this from my sister's blog.
  • Name: CJ
  • Height: 6’3”
  • Relationship status: Single, and currently unavailable
  • Birthday: ...OK, fine, as long as you don't don't tell the ghosts. It's May the 33rd.
  • Favorite colours: the perfect black
  • Favorite bands: the Aston Shuffle, Bag Raiders, Cut Copy, Daft Punk, Emiliana Torrini, Faithless, Groove Armada, Hard-Fi, Infected Mushroom, Jean-Michel Jarre, the Knife, Lusine, Midnight Juggernauts, New Order, Orbital, the Presets, Q45, Ratatat, Simian Mobile Disco, Tiësto, Underworld, Vangelis, the Whitlams, X-Press 2, Yppah, Zero 7. See what I did there?
  • Last song listened: Ha-Ha - Serengeti
  • Favorite movie: The Matrix
  • Last movie watched: Spaceballs
  • Favorite book: House Of Leaves - Mark Z. Danielewski
  • Last book read: The Calculus Diaries - Jennifer Ouellette
  • Nr. of siblings: One. Sister. She is: younger than me, annoying, studying vet science, a pain in the neck, reading this and preparing to snap my spine in half.
  • Nr. of pets: Personally: none here, cat back in home town. Family owns two further cats, a pooch and fish.
  • Best school subject: Mathematics
  • Mac or PC? Both, plus Linux. If computers were sexuality, I'd be pansexual.
  • Cell phone type: HTC
  • Current shirt color: Black
  • Gamer? Ja, darling. Halfway between casual and hardcore. I play Starcraft, but also Mario. If gamer types were sexuality, I'd be pansexual.
  • Day or night? Night (the lonely loner seems to free his mind...)
  • Summer or winter? Summer, baby!
  • Most-visited website? Leave social networking sites alone, and it's Everything2.
  • Celebrity crush: Ellyse Perry, and Emiliana Torrini.
  • Biggest turn on: Apparently, my biggest turn-ons now are everything I used to be turned off by in high school. Meaning I go for the intelligent, crazy (but not insane), strong (not necessarily physically), independent and outgoing. (Though, physically, it's hair that does it for me.)

This one, I stole from my own Facebook and updated. One-word answers ahoy!
  • Where is your cell phone? Elsewhere.
  • Your significant other? Non-existent.
  • Your hair? Messy.
  • Your mother? Mum.
  • Your father? Dad.
  • Your favorite thing? Indescribable.
  • Your dream last night? None.
  • Your favorite drink? Several.
  • Your dream/goal? Ph.D
  • What room you are in? Bed.
  • Your hobby? Plenty.
  • Your fear? Loss.
  • Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive.
  • Where were you last night? Home.
  • Muffins? Yes.
  • Wish list item? Plenty.
  • Where you grew up? Hole.
  • Last thing you did? Naughty.
  • What are you wearing? Jeans.
  • Your TV? On.
  • Your pets? Humans.
  • Friends? Heaps.
  • Your life? Owning.
  • Your mood? Mellow.
  • Missing some one? Obviously.
  • Car? Parents'.
  • Something you're not wearing? Hee...
  • Your favorite store? JB.
  • Your favorite color? Bläk.
  • When is the last time you laughed? Now.
  • Last time you cried? Rarely.
  • One place that I go to over and over? JB.
  • My favorite place to eat? Nando's.
  • Why you participated in this survey? OCD.
  • What are you doing tonight? Wondering...
plaugh. And I think there's room for one more. Let's go a little deeper.

  • How can I win your heart? If you haven't bought a raffle ticket, then you can win it by (mentally) shaking me and doing it right. It's very difficult to do it right. Good luck to you.
  • What did you realise today? I've realised that my exam tomorrow is not as hard as it seems, but also that it is not as easy as it seems.
  • Ever feel like you're not good enough? Hell to the YES. You know how and why, if you know me well enough.
  • Do you want to be in a relationship with someone? Tough question. Some of me does, some of me doesn't. I don't have anyone in mind, so it's time to buy those raffle tickets.
  • Do you want someone you can't have? Doesn't everybody? Personally, I want Emiliana Torrini.
  • When was the last time you cried? From memory, when I went through my last breakup.
  • What is the last movie you watched? Start to end: The Matrix.
  • When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Over a week ago.
  • When was the last time you totally broke down? Last month some time. It was a Friday.
  • If you could have one thing right now what would it be? A Logie.
  • Last person to worry about you? No idea. If you're worried, give me a buzz.
  • Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? Several. Actually, some of them aren't huge losses anyway, so I guess that's OK.
  • Have you ever told someone you hope they get AIDS? Hearing aids yes, but they couldn't hear, so it was justified.
  • Is your hair up or down right now? Messy. Always.
  • Anyone crushing on you? You tell me. Personally, I'd like to think that there are zero. (To all those people who are crushing on me - if you are - sorry. Well, no, I'm not sorry, because nobody else is crushing on me, are they?)
  • Has someone ever made you a promise and broken it? Perhaps. Not that I know of.
  • Who would you turn gay for? Alan Turing.
  • Where is the person who has your heart? I have it. People still haven't won the raffle.
  • Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it? Why would you? It's a waste of gum.
  • Is your best friend a slut? Hm. All of my best friends are fuckups, but they're not sluts.
  • You're going on a roadtrip, what MUST you bring with you? Emiliana Torrini.
  • When was the last time you talked to the person you love? Not for a very long time.
  • What will you be doing in the next 2 hours? Quite possibly my INE study.
  • This time last year were you single? I was not. I was very busy studying for my exams.
  • Who was the first person you talked to today? I haven't seen a single person today, actually. Or a taken one.
  • When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower? The last time I had access to a bath.
  • Do you ever make the first move? Oh, fuck no. I know heaps of people who can vouch for that.
  • Is there a topic that gets you really heated when it's brought up? Occasionally, but there are a few topics that will shake me pretty bad.
  • Would you ever agree to an open relationship with someone? Nope. I'm happily monogamous.
  • Have you seen the last person you kissed with their shirt off? I gotta admit, I've never seen Emiliana Torrini with her shirt off.
  • Do you regret anything? Yes. I regret not studying Further Maths instead of IP&M, and I regret the fact that I regretted it.
  • What are you excited about? 2013
  • Do you have an addiction? I'm a system addict. Yeah.
  • Favorite swear word: FUCKCOMMAMUNCHER! (with thanks to the Teddisms
  • How many pillows do you sleep with? Just the one, though I did have three at one point.
  • Is there anything about yourself you are trying to or want to improve? I'm perfect, but thanks for asking.
  • Are you confused about anything right now? Yeah. Why the hell is Emiliana Torrini not going out with me?
  • Do you miss anything or anyone? My family, my pets. That Friday night, that Thursday night, that Saturday morning...
  • What makes you laugh no matter what? Surprisingly, very little.
  • Are you one of those people who hate crying in front of others? Oh, fuck yes. But sometimes it's unavoidable.
  • What's the last song you heard? Die Slow (Tobacco rmx) by Health. It's... just... so... evocative.
  • Whose car were you in last? I have no idea or memory of that one.
  • Do you believe you can change someone? I can't change anyone. I have no influence over people, I'm not a person that people look up to. So, no, I can't change people. But that's not my problem.
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