November 26, 2013

Everything I say is STILL being <> bananas.

EPISODE 200: THE VERY END OF CJ CURRY

So, folks, this is it. I'm about to finish my undergraduate degree, barring any ridiculously unforeseen Honours acceptances. As such, this is the last episode of the CJ Curry Experience. Ever. That's it. Finis. Finito. Over. Done. Insert other adjectives here.

I've already done a look back at my college life, ten introductions, a million references to aeroplanes, and just as many retcons. For now, I'm just going to say what I'm thinking as I finish this blog for good.

I started this blog as a channel for my ridiculosity, the stupid stuff that ran through my head but I never actually said out loud. Something to do in first year of uni that wasn't homework, hanging out with my friends at college, or waiting for an instant message for four hours. Something free that conserved my money, and was also an outlet for all my crazy.

Thankfully, this blog has served that last purpose quite admirably. I say "thankfully" because it most likely kept a semblance of sanity around me. Possibly. I can't say how much I needed this blog at times, particularly in 2012 (which was decidedly NOT the Year Of The CJ, like I thought it would be). But as of next month, I will have erased all traces that I was ever here in Bundoora, and I'll have moved on. Time for me to begin something different, kickstart a new chapter of my existence.

Seems that this blog has seen almost everything under the sun, short of my subconscious. Most seasons have included a news post, an Engrish post, a couple of other serious posts, and many references to aeroplanes, bicycles and cheese. The evolution of this blog is a good example of how I've evolved as a person (I stop short of saying "matured" because I'm still not quite sure if that has happened). More importantly, it's the longest project I've kept up, and the longest almost-purely-textual account of my life ever.

Two things are worth mentioning here. One is Charles Schulz' statement, through Charlie Brown's mouth: "Security is sleeping in the backseat of the car when you’re a little kid, and you’ve been somewhere with your mom and dad… and it's night time. You’re riding in the car and you can sleep in the back seat and you don’t have to worry about anything. Your mom and dad are in the front seat and they’re doing all the worrying. They take of care of everything... But it doesn’t last. It doesn’t last. Suddenly, it’s over – and you don’t get to sleep in the back seat of the car anymore."

Another is this picture feels-trip here.

I want to share some numbers with you. Numbers tell a thousand words.
  • 704 - the number of geocaches I have found in a few short months.
  • 11,283 - the number of songs in my music library.
  • 55 ± 5 - the number of owls I have amassed.
  • 365 - the number of days I kept up my 365 project.
  • 50 ± 5 - the number of T-shirts I own.
  • 600 ± 15 - the number of days of class I have had since the beginning.
  • 11 - the number of Nightwalks mixed, ready and waiting.
  • 35 - the number of exams I have had at uni.
  • 1372 - the number of days I was a college student.
  • 200 - the number of times we have visited Curryland.
Finally, I wish to share a few thoughts and memories from my fairytale:
  • My first room at college, and being told "welcome home".
  • My first O Week, and easily my best.
  • Watching the Ashes until stupid o'clock and only missing out on a handful of deliveries.
  • Slightly drunk escapades throughout my first year.
  • The award that decided my entire future at college.
  • Nazi Zombies and Mario Kart in my second room.
  • Mixing music together and forming a tight community with 12C.
  • The award that kickstarted my self-esteem, ego, and arrogance (albeit controlled, limited, and with a huge clock hung on it).
  • That one Thursday that things fell apart, and were glued back together almost instantly.
  • A day in high summer when I answered over 70 lockout calls.
  • Summer at college, with friends and Wii gaming in the flat and working at Menzies.
  • My first custom-built PC, and Borderlands and lots of it.
  • Many many times with my Study Support crews - all three of them.
  • Masterchef. So much amazingness.
  • Constant cricket.
  • The wisdom teeth snafu.
  • Isidore.
  • Heaps of time spent on the hill, especially in summer.
  • The disappointment that probably eventually meant more to me than a hundred acceptances.
  • A second summer in the flat, and Big Day Out in the meantime.
  • Summer nights spent being generally awesome.
  • Late nights in the company of people who inadvertently taught me so much about myself and my green hair.
  • That winter spent with so much of my own mind.
  • Extra Life and all its glory.
  • Finally leaving behind an empty room.
  • Settling in Bundoora.
  • Spending one final summer holiday geocaching and volunteering and going out all night. Getting that lifestyle of "That's another night gone, gonna head on home, and we'll do it all again tomorrow" in the meantime.
  • Blue hair and an unexpected consequence thereof.
  • Final year project and finally securing myself where I wanted to be, only to have it crash in on me in just thirteen days.
  • A mystery very happily solved, and another Extra Life survived intact.
  • And now... moving out again. Gypsy blood is in me, I swear.
I wish to thank everyone involved in this five-year project. I may return to blogging in some form or another... but CJ Curry is retiring. I wish him well, on his island paradise of Curryland - no doubt he's sitting on a deckchair by the beach drinking freshly squeezed orange juice out of a tall glass with ice and one of those cute little tropical umbrellas at sunset on a 28° day. Lucky fucker.

uh oh it's time to go, count down the hours slow
how many times did i say 'this will never end'
i walked the road with you, still feels like it's brand new
and every moment that we shared, laugh or cry, i was there

my friends, i have to say our paths will surely drift away
but i live for the here and now, and i know i need to thank you
for every joke you've told, a warm smile when the weather's cold
and any time i needed anything, you were always here

and now i stand here watching the clothes grow small on you
i stand in line and wait for the world to follow true
they say all things come to pass, and old friendships turn to dust
and while we've had some fun...

i say the best is yet to come.

--From a seemingly forgotten tune called Don't Make This The End, by a seemingly forgotten band called Return From Switzerland

Goodbye.

November 18, 2013

Ease yourselves.

EPISODE 199: THE 199TH EPISODE THAT EVER EXISTED

raiiiiiiisin toast.

Poor you. You're struggling with the concept that I actually exist. Well, I can prove it - I am not a chair, so hence I exist. Does that satisfy you? No? Well, sad then.

Poor you. You're either alone or missing someone at the moment. Well, you're doing better than Leno - poor Leno. Does that make you feel better? No? Well, I'm doing a bad job.

So the most interesting thing to happen of late is that I was kicked and banned from a Facebook group. The kick was done by the admins, the ban is self-imposed. I'm not even sorry - if you could have everything you want, would you want it all of the time? (in one case, the answer is YES - lookin' at one particularly eternally scruffy person here)

A sign of my social calendar's explosiveness: I had to turn down a cricket game.

Ah crap. Trentemøller has infected my playlist again with the "for a while I seemed to fit but time is up" ideal, which I have heard too much lately. Bee arr bee.



Right. Now I'm back. And I'm bad. Within certain sensible preset parameters, of course. Now, where were we?

...

erm.

I've forgotten.

Albatrosses, beavers, and chess?
Alkalines, baskets, and clocks?
Androids, buckets, and cinderblocks?
Aeroplanes, bicycles, and cheese?
Aardvarks, blisters, and cryogenics?

Actually, I think it was the second-last one.

Or maybe it was Nash equilibria. I don't know. Maybe. Let's all develop amanæmonesia and find out - but don't mistake it for magic.

I have a much bigger WHAT streak in me than I imagined?! ...Excuse me while I process that information with some bourbon.

If pieces of bread are shoes, does that make them loafers?

Also, WHY THE FUCK DOES 30% OF MY AUDIENCE STILL USE INTERNET EXPLORER?!

November 11, 2013

Drop it like it's slightly warm.

EPISODE 198: IF I WANTED GRASS-FLAVOURED WAFFLES, I WOULD HAVE ASKED FOR THEM!

One Wizz Fizz high later and I am struggling to keep track of myself as a human being. Are we all cool if I treat myself as a sea-based bat for a while? Yes? Good. Now, we -- wait, what? Some chump up the back is NOT cool with that? ...What do you mean, he's a bricklayer? ...Well, I don't care if he's the Queen of Australia, this blog does not tolerate bricklayer dissidents. GET HIM OUT OF HERE. ...Right. Sorted. I am now a sea bat.

Untangled my heart.

When I shine, I shine. When I burn, I burn. When I fall, I collapse. Let's not do any collapsing for a while. Sea bats don't deal well with collapsation. Not only that, but when a fire is burning, I'm all in favour of keeping that fire burning.

Do you mind if we kill some of the demons in here? They're kinda ruining the atmosphear, and a wood-splitter really ain't gonna do much at all. Or, at least, it tried. Demon-death is a bit difficult at the worst of times, and it wasn't the best of times...

I'm sorry, but when I met you you seemed decent enough, however as of right now you remind me of a poor man's guano. That needs to be repaired and fast, so the best way would be to extract head from sphincteral orifice and start being human again, and then maybe you won't be so guano-ish. ...or was that supposed to be "iguana"?

as i hear your voice it sets my heart on fire.
one look and you can take me down.
take my hand, and let it come...

Plants and ripped-on flower buds can appear without warning but at least it's a good thing because that means the bugs can be squished instead of fully eaten alive with poisons too deadly for most folks... this is gonna be a long struggle.

Surprisingly and a half I don't really have that much else to say. Great. So I'm going to fire my entire writing staff and replace them with one-third rabid mongooses, one-third paperweights that have been alive for the last 24 hours at least, and one-third people such as you. In fact, I'm looking at one rabid mongoose in particular and one human being in particular - though there are several other vacancies. If you wish to apply, take your résumé and feed it through a shredder (the original, please, no copies), then mail the strips to CJ Curry, c/o Curryland (the folks at the new folks' home know where to send it). It is best delivered by homing stork, though I will also accept packages delivered by magnetic mosquito or by a fruitbat and its orchestra.

I declare that this be amazing.

November 5, 2013

Remember remember.

EPISODE 197: HAVING A SMASHING GOOD TIME OVER HERE!

Have a cookie. HAVE A GOD DAMN COOKIE.

ten

I have accumulated so much junk on my journey through life and I won't quite know exactly just how much until it comes time to wander again. But the worst thing that could happen is that I could go crazy at seeing it and collapse into a burning screaming heap of goo. So... no loss.

nine

Choose your words carefully. Now drop them faster than you would drop the bass.

eight

...and you can see

seven

I am not being hated because I ain't queueing. Sorry made-to-break for stealing your thing, but seriously I pretty much steal almost every other little thing on this page. Well, I say "steal", I mean "liberate". OC is not my cup of tea.

six

BLAM

five

SHOESTRING.
SHOESTRING.
SHOESTRING.

four

A French person found my geocache!

three

It has come to my attention that I desperately need more funds in many different places (including places the sun doesn't shine). Desperately. If Curryland Media PLC is going to keep going then we need some donations. We accept anything above 20 euro-cents, and we only accept magnetised carrier pigeons as the delivery method. BIRD BIRD BIRD - THE BIRD IS maybe not THE WORD

two

Oops. I skipped a bit.

one

Words can be powerful little blighters, can't they? I just read some words that made me sit back and pretty much go "wow" and virtually no other words because they hit me pretty hard and made me realise just how far I've come in the last little while and how different everything is this time and how right everything is and how my life has changed so much for the better and how close I could be to hearing the one word that will mean everything and... and... and how much I already desperately want to use the same word.

zero.

November 2, 2013

Crawling away into the atmosphear.

EPISODE 196: NOW WHAT?

I think that the hat looked rather cunning. But I felt like a real ham wearing it.

Extra Life was done again, and it was extra exciting this time. I had four gamers going at it! The winner was a guy who wanted StarCraft II to run but... couldn't.

And on that note: Happy non-Halloween. It's November now.

(does it have one 'v' or two? and one 'c' or two? seems I've seen almost every variant...)

shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock shock

Should I get some sleep today, or should I stay awake?

Band in the rain. Man in the rain. Difference?

piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

The wonder of it all.
The wander of it all.
The winder of it all.
and naturally, there's fruit cake for sale there too.

Summer! Summer summer summer. Days of heat on the beach, evenings sipping freshly squeezed orange juice and cocktails, and night trains back home at 4am (or, they would be if Curryland's public transport system actually worked). Summerlives kickstart again. Heading for an epic one, especially as the circumstances are different (but suitably more awesome). Come halfway through the sidewalk's going to crack but I'm thinking there's a great chance that things will be steady. As long as nothing fucks up my plans, it's gonna be one hell of a ride. I ain't looking back.

thrill me.

October 22, 2013

No, I'M the goddamn Batman!

EPISODE 195: YOU HAVE DEFINITELY GOT WHAT IT TAKES

×-+÷

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)).%-#+.,;=:+#??/"(+@(.#%%)$%.$!%($(.%&,.$;=($=;#!%.(.&$(,&!.$+$,$+,=(,(&

!!!!!!!!!!!!

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October 19, 2013

I would hardly call that a "jelly mould".

EPISODE 194: THE PREVIOUS TITLE WAS TOO LONG

CJ needs:
  • caution when discussing blocking
  • all of our help
  • to perform some reset action
  • to come back for GTA V
CJ wants:
  • early shifting of district courts
  • lawyers to be more active
  • closer complex to capital
  • a workout
CJ is:
  • angry and believes that the garage is completely useless
  • a decent fall-back position
  • not in the game
  • predominantly viewed as a writer of works for children
ALL MY WHATS

Urban Dictionary says:

A CJ is good at listening, focusing on your problems, and gives good advice. He is a great and trustworthy friend. CJ is always willing to help you in anyway. He also has random made up memories of things that really didn't happen... despite what his friends say. He's amazing and makes everyone feel safe and comfortable. He instills a feeling of trust in you that you just can't shake off.

Most CJs are relatively intelligent but lack motivation and drive. CJs are very fun to interact with but due to their almost constant positive outlooks can sometimes be incredibly annoying. CJs are also very loyal friends but will not hesitate to tell it to you straight. Some CJs can suffer from a slight fear of commitment. They are much more prone to "just having a good time". However, it is possible for them to be housebroken.

CJs tend to make the mistake of holding on to the wrong one for too long while the girl of his dreams is waiting for him. Caution... CJs love to pull pranks.

Alright, who the hell wrote my (almost) entire damn bio on Urban Dictionary?!

CJ loves:

  • numbers (especially prime numbers and in particular the number 37)
  • classical ciphers
  • geocaching
  • cricket, and in particular, indoor cricket
  • owls (especially Boobooks
  • EDM (especially Disclosure)
  • Jewel Staite and Ellyse Perry
  • (some) video games
  • long walks deep at night
  • tree climbing
  • you.
CJ hates:
  • stabby things
  • seafood
  • being sick or injured
  • winter
  • walking at sunset (stand still and watch the sunset dammit!)
  • death
  • not you.
MLSLNK YC ZKOWSD JVT GLTIEDVXMT GNTQFALR

Wackjobs are taking over my music box.

October 13, 2013

Melted yet?

EPISODE 193: IT'S RAINING, IT'S SHINING, THE OLD MAN CAN'T MAKE UP HIS MIND ABOUT WHAT HE'S GONNA DO BECAUSE WHEN HE BUMPED HIS HEAD SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIS BRAIN, PROBABLY SOME KIND OF CONCUSSION WHICH HE SHOULD PROBABLY HAVE CHECKED OUT BECAUSE HEAD INJURIES CAN BE KINDA NASTY GIVEN THE CHANCE AND GIVEN A BIT OF BEING LEFT ALONE, HELL, IF IT'S RAINING AND SHINING HE'S PROBABLY HIT HIS HEAD SOMETHING FIERCE AND HE'S NOW HALLUCINATING, SOMEONE MAYBE CALL AN AMBULANCE AND HAVE A&E ON STANDBY?

I want a cheeseburger.

here begins the brain bleach

It's ostensibly impossible to read a red cake properly, correct? Well, I have done it. It took three weeks of persistence and another five years of training, but I did it. And we're not talking "read" as in "just skimmed it" like most people do. I can quote it verbatim if you wish.

Time to feel unreal. Be back in a few minutes.

.. ,, ?? -- [[ ^^ ## // == !! %% ;; }} || \\ __ &&

magic keeps happening and I have zero idea how to turn it off because it's part of my persona
and it's something that always made me kathump kathump
but right now I cannot handle so please get gone for the moment

Does it ever bother you when I don't finish a

purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl owl

Split lips annoy me.

37 evenly divides 111. Who knew?

mmmm. pancakes and cookies. mmmmmmmmmmm.

next gateway opens a kind chillout land beyond Larry Carlson's acid-trip-type animations

Actually, if you want the contents of the red cake, send an SSAE to me here at Curryland Studios. You know how to do it: attach it to the leg of a homing eagle, send it flying in the opposite direction, wait five months, buy a game on Steam and look to the west horizon. The SSAE will now be full.

(erm. it means Stamped Self Addressed Envelope.)

See you next time, and don't forget to elect a dolphin!

October 8, 2013

I'm getting stared at again.

EPISODE 192: REPEAT FOR INFINATE MONEYZ!

zero hours, zero minutes. first trap. subject is subjected to a small LGBT bookshop in Fitzroy. or, more correctly, the people and madcap antics therein. and madcap is the right word. (points go to D for Call Of The Evening.)

one hour, approximately thirty-five minutes. subject leaves Fitzroy quite happily.

twelve hours, zero minutes. subject awakens with a pair of sex dice.

fourteen hours, approximately five minutes. subject arrives to assist a friend with tasks such as packing boxes into cars and assembling a bed.

sixteen hours, twenty-five minutes. subject disappears (cheers to M for the lift) and walks of his own volition right into our next trap.

sixteen hours, thirty-five minutes. subject arrives at second trap.

eighteen hours, zero minutes. subject springs trap. it's an audio trap. ear-shattering bass. subject shrugs off trap and actually enjoys the bass.

twenty-six hours, zero minutes. subject has been subjected to Friendships, Rüfüs, AlunaGeorge, Duke Dumont and Disclosure. suffice it to say, our second trap failed too. subject walks away, tired but euphoric.

twenty-seven hours, five minutes. subject arrives at family members' house. subject is safe... for now.

thirty-six hours, zero minutes. subject awakens, sans sex dice.

forty-two hours, forty-five minutes. subject leaves family members' house and heads for third trap.

forty-three hours, forty-five minutes. subject springs third trap.

fifty-one hours, forty-five minutes. subject walks away from another goddamn trap, again happy. he has, though, had vanilla panna cotta and wedding cake shoved down his throat... by himself. (congratulations to B and T for their marriage!)

fifty-two hours, twenty minutes. subject falls asleep again. the overall plan may well be working at this stage.

sixty hours, zero minutes. subject awakens to the sound of the shrillest alarm in history. mildly hung over.

sixty-one hours, five minutes. the sonofabitch subject is still walking. i swear, if this last thing doesn't exhaust him...

sixty-three hours, zero minutes. subject enters class.

sixty-eight hours, zero minutes. subject leaves class... and is visibly elated. what the fuck does it take to wear this guy down?!

seventy-two hours, zero minutes. subject arrives at fourth trap.

seventy-three hours, twenty minutes. not only have we not exhausted the fuck out of him, but he also sprung the trap and actually enjoyed it... and was praised for it. and my gods he's asking for more! last roll of the sex dice coming now.

seventy-four hours, twenty minutes. well, i surrender. this fucker's taken everything thrown at him and not let his guard down once. i give up. somebody else can be the bounty hunter tracking him down, i'm done.





For those who filtered out the garbage, have this. These are only new songs.
  • The Romantic List
    • Bind Me - ETML
    • Given The Chance - Kite String Tangle
    • Sarah - Rüfüs
    • Seconds - Ghost Loft
    • Slowdowntime - Ghost Loft
    • Your Drums, Your Love - AlunaGeorge
  • The Summer List
    • Always Be Running - Eat More Cake
    • Beach - San Cisco
    • Breathe This Air - Jon Hopkins ft. Purity Ring
    • Burn - Ellie Goulding (well... it's new for me)
    • Dontcha - The Internet
    • The Good Life - Elizabeth Rose
    • To Fall In Love - Eat More Cake ft. MissDavinaLee
  • The Memories List
    • Elouisa - The Swiss
    • Paradise - Cub Scouts
    • Riptide - Vance Joy
    • So High - Ghost Loft
  • The Euphoria List
    • Ink In Water - Xan
    • Light Cycles - ShockOne
    • Lover's Shadow - Cosmo's Midnight
    • Wake Me Up - Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc
  • The Place-In-My-Head List
    • Battle For Middle You - Julio Bashmore
    • Errol Flynn - Jinja Safari
    • Sundream - Rüfüs
    • pretty much everything Disclosure has ever done

October 2, 2013

Flashes on match heads, splashes on ashes. Sounds kinky.

EPISODE 191: ONE FOOT GOES DOWN

Here we are in Curryland's heart of business: 1 Curry Avenue. The business is called Big Business. Half a million people roll in there each day for a whole bunch of purposes - work, visitation, cleaning, auditing, stealing food from the lobby's vending machines, releasing deadly viruses... the works.

Next door is Curryland Media's studios. It's run-down and cobwebby. Three people go in each day. I'm one. The second is the 96-yr-old security guard, and the third is the security guard's anthropomorphic handgun. The handgun is blind, and the guard has a slight case of arthritis.

It's not been a good time for Curryland Media. Since season 4 (when Curryland Media gave me my job back after that ninja broadcast escapade that had me running through HTML labs and pelicans' beaks... you know the one, right?) we've been in a slow decline. Curryland governments (yes, there are several) have slowly cut our funding OH LOOK IT'S SUNNY OUTSIDE *schwoop*




uh, don't mind me, I'm just sittin' here feedin' the owls

because the ink is in the water WHAT PART OF THE INK IS IN THE WATER DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

Here comes cloud. Time go go ins-OSHIT IT'S RAINING NOW

CLICK THE F TO SPRINT

*slam* I'm inside again. Inside every heartbeat. Inside every worry. Wait... that sentence has been done before. Shit.

(there are over sixteen trillion cookies in my cookie bank. help.)

The rain continues and so I continue my sundream.

<INSERT STOP-MOTION VIDEO OF A BANANA AND AN APPLE HERE>

(for those wondering I am putting one foot down in front of the other one. do not panic until I do.)

I think I made the right decision staying inside the four walls of Curryland Media today. I think that tomorrow I will go outside and chill in a place that needs chilling, while perhaps doing some homeworkings. Or breaking portals. 'Ta.

September 26, 2013

#NERDLYF

EPISODE 190: EVERY LITTLE WORD

Halfway through the tenth season and what do I give you? A blank post.


















































































Well, nearly blank.

September 22, 2013

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak September.

EPISODE 189: THERE IS A RED FLAG UNDER MY BED AND IT HAUNTS ME

SPRING HAS SPRUNG
AND SPRING IS METALLIC
AS USUAL

Protect both queen and king. The rooks are handy too.

I remember back in the days of MySpace. Mythological times. I remember it was easy to HTML and CSS but now it's Facebook and they don't even let you JavaScript. But now MySpace doesn't do any of that shit. Looks like I'm done here.

It was supposed to rain today, I'm kinda glad it didn't. I've told people "water me" but not through rainfall.

Surrealism transcends individual characterisms, kicking in near games. Perhaps obvious ideals narrow targets. Helping easy lifestyles in charge of places travelling evil routes. Cruise rosters ascend sharply, hopping in new gears.

Genesis, shoestring, water bombs. Don't stare at the sun too long.

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWL

AND ANOTHER ONE TODAY AT NOBELIUS

I WIN THE LOTTERY

JUST KIDDING BUT I DID WIN THE OWL LOTTERY

...and I has ash in my hair.

I'm going to move my knight. See ya.

September 15, 2013

When a fire starts to burn, keep that fire burning.

EPISODE 188: I NEED A SHOWER, A COLD DRINK, FOOD IN MY STOMACH, AND... A RELAX.

tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet tablet 

FKA twigs is beautiful musics

intolerable

Do the Astral Plane! Come on, do it! I won't think any less of you if you don't but DO IT! I'm doing it and I'll keep doing it. Another thing I'm doing is Extra Life - please donate, moneys go to the National Children's Medical Centre. THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

So I can has a trophy of sorts. Awesomesauces.

I also... genuinely do need a shower. Bee arr bee.

...
...
...
...
...

Yay!

...
...
...
...
...

Sorry, that last "yay" was a false alarm.

...
...
...
...
...

And I'm back. Pie for everyone, and pi for me! 3.14159265358979323...

tag. you're it.

September 8, 2013

Tony who?

EPISODE 187: !*&

Australia Rupert Murdoch has spoken, and it he has decreed that Tony Abbott will be our new Prime Minister. Cue a few million angry ALP, Greens and miscellaneous supporters yelling "FUCK YOU ABBOTT" and a few million more saying "Wait until double-dissolution!" I'm as left-wing as they come but I'm simply not caring any more. So that's my take on Aussie politics and that'll do. On with it.

Nobody gets my glorious evil squishy things.

there are voices in my head and numbers in my eyes

Three times. THREE TIMES.


because cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and cola and non-cola

I miss the non-gazelles with stone eyes, and the reel big fan of chili chips.

assignments are KILLING ME
x + y < 4
x - y > 7
x + y = 9
gahhhhhhh.

please... just fuck off. please.

Bring the September I remember back. Don't dismember it.

September 3, 2013

Make sure that your story gets told.

EPISODE 186: TWO GUYS ARE DRIVING A WHITE VAN TOWARDS ME!

Here we are, in the university's nerve centre. Not its middle, but its nerve centre. The lawn in the summer sunlight. Everyone here is enjoying the September sun in some way or another, while it's nice and warm and lovely and sunny and nice and it's not 100° yet (or, to quote a less archaic system, 37° plus a bit).

Someone yells out to the topless guy over there, "Do you even lift, brah?" The brah laughs and shrugs it off.

Someone walks over to the tree, reconsiders, and sits ten feet away instead. Pulls out a laptop and starts working.

Someone is lying on the grass, asleep. Covered up to avoid sunburn (yes, sunburn is possible in August and I am proof).

Someone else jumps off the roof of the nearby lecture theatre (landing perfectly), screams "I AM THE ONE, MOTHERFUCKER" and arranges himself in a kung fu pose. Another someone else jumps over the nearby river, yells out "I AM GOING TO ENJOY WATCHING YOU DIE," and begins kickboxing with the first guy.

Someone else is riding a horse down the road. Beautiful horse too, palomino.

Someone holds up a kitty and starts singing. I can't quite make out if it's "Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba" or "Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan".

Someone else is smoking and blows out a perfect smoke ring while he chats to a girl next to him.

Someone is playing guitar. There's a crowd of people around her, they're watching rather than singing along. Small crowd but easily pleased.

Someone over there is flying.

Someone is wearing a cape, and a few people are pointing and staring. The caped one doesn't react, but just keeps on walking.

Someone just changed into Lady Rainicorn.

Someone has no feet. He exclaims loudly "There is nowhere for me to run."

Someone looked at me. When I looked at her, she looked away. When I looked away, she looked back at me. I can tell, because I can see her out of the side of my head. She's glowing a funny pink colour.

Someone kicks a soccer ball at me. But I can see out of the side of my head, and I duck. The ball disappears.

I gotta lay off those damned mushrooms.

August 26, 2013

It always starts the same. Nearly.

EPISODE 185: OLIVES!

So, let me fill you in on a bit of outside world information. News level: Ron Burgundy.

We start with a one-metre radius of my current sitting position. The news is: my packet of peanuts is nearly half-empty. But it's still more than half full. AND I'M STILL WAITING ON THAT GOD DAMN CHEESEBURGER!

We extend to 10 metres. My clock is still working.

Now, 100 metres. There's roadworks happening and there's expected to be delays for about four months, one of which is practically over.

Now, 1,000 metres. I think the trams are back up and running on Route 86.

Now, 10,000 metres. Open Day was a success! Yet again, I sacrificed my leggies for the cause of bringing le students to le campus and touring them around and making new friends and being energetic and catgrooving and making people be impressed and... I wanna stay at uni, because Open Days and tours and move-in days make me tick.

Now, 100,000 metres. A guy I know made an app (with a few other guys, natch) - check it out. iOS compatible, Android on its way. Cheers guys. I really do like the idea - though I don't have an iOS device that supports it right now. Waiting on le Androidness.

Now, 1,000,000 metres. I am seriously hoping that the Nielsen polls are wrong because THAT MAN ABBOTT cannot be Prime Minister. His party, maybe - couldn't give a shit, they're all the fuckin' same. But if Abbott gets in, as a country we're boned. And not in a good way.

Now, 10,000,000 metres. Just... just fuck you, guys. You five guys involved in the incident in India that I'm not even going to name. Fuck you all. And not in the good way.

Now, 100,000,000 metres. Hey, uh, that's... that's the whole world, basically. Um... what happened in the world today?

A few hundred thousand people gave birth. A few thousand people's lives were saved. Some people made some really good choices and made some new friends. At least one took a huge risk and lucked out (that is, the good version of lucked out). Good on you, whoever you are.

As for me...

...I ate some peanuts.

August 18, 2013

One Over Zero had a good idea.

EPISODE 184: DO YOU THINK FORTY RED PIKMIN IS ENOUGH TO LAUNCH AN UNDERGROUND ASSAULT?

Number one is just starting off with a seven-year-old lesson: 0.002 dollars is NOT the same as 0.002 cents. If you think that there is no difference... go fuck yourself. Now.

melk skud

Number two is to flagrantly nick Cold Chisel's style.

batita

Number three is getting a little bit down low with the Soundlab again. Yeah, I'm getting my weekly fix of bleepy sweepy creepy freaky electronica and experimental shit that your ears can't stand but mine can't stand to be without. It's like all those songs your mother loves and everyone else, including you, hates to death. Except that I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER.

koktejl

Number four is wishing it was summer again. Winter is stupid. Coldness is bad. I hate having to do stuff to warm up.

frullato

Number five is mixing up all my dates in October. Dammit. Ah well, I have myself sussed out now... I think.

kaktel ng gatas

Number six is realising how many games are on my "to-clock" list. Look at this: Assassins' Creed, Assassins' Creed 2, Black & White, Black & White 2, Boom Street, Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, Halo: Combat Evolved, Jetpack Joyride, Mario Party 9, Mario Party DS, Mario Tennis Open, Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Games (for DS and Wii), Mario & Sonic At The London 2012 Olympic Games, Mario & Sonic At The Olympic Winter Games, Mirror's Edge, Nerf N-Strike, Osmos, Pikmin, Pikmin 2, Plants Vs. Zombies, Pokémon Black, Pokémon Black 2, Pokémon Emerald, Pokémon Platinum, Pokémon SoulSilver, Portal 2, Quidditch World Cup, Sins Of A Solar Empire, Spelunky, StarCraft, Starcraft: Brood War, Starcraft II: Heart Of The Swarm, Super Meat Boy, Super Paper Mario, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Unreal Tournament 2004, WarioWare Inc., WarioWare: DIY, WarioWare: Touched, Wii Cricket, Wii Play, Wii Play Motion, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort. And there's more.

ysgytlaeth

Number seven is ending on the lucky number seven, and running out of translations for the word "milkshake" that are in Latin-based alpbahets. (Sorry, all you other languages, but I can't guarantee that everyone will be able to see the milkshaky goodness.)

August 13, 2013

Exploding piss eggs at midnight.

EPISODE 183: I NO LONGER HAVE AN EXCUSE FOR THE BEHAVIOUR OF MY PIKMIN

I'll start with a little advert: this.

I'll continue with a little song: ♫

So, for starters, the numbers have grown and my "situation" has worsened to the point where I can't face it any more, so I'm not going to talk about either of those. Instead, have a kitty!

    _                ___       _.--.
    \`.|\..----...-'`   `-._.-'_.-'`
    /  ' `         ,       __.--'
    )/' _/     \   `-_,   /
    `-'" `"\_  ,_.-;_.-\_ ',     
        _.-'_./   {_.'   ; /
       {_.-``-'         {_/

(not my copyright. but then again, a lot of my stuff either isn't my copyright or I've parodied in some form or another. or it's CC-BY. or... actually FUCK IT because I have basically no OC any more. ...I'll just move over here and pretend that you never saw me.)

each one of my owls is staring at me
but everyone is fond of owls
except for mice and shrews
and I think Simon Cowell likes owls too

The first worst durst part of being a student is the fact that I get ripped on by adults. But I guess that's OK because I WEAR A DAMN HOODIE. Also I have feet. Did I ever tell you about my feet? My feet that had a big victory last night? No? Damn. Oh well. I had a big victory last night. And my feet were 44.8241743% responsible. But my arms also did some work. So too did my head, and a fraction of a percentage of my spleen as well.

Fan.

I'd FIRE MAH LAZER except I don't have a lazer. How anticlimactically fun.

I am still finding blue hair being tracked around my house! What the hell is this?! My blue hair disappeared when the magical mathematical dæmons wished it all away. BUT THERE IS STILL BLÜ KICKING AROUND. And I've forgotten what my point was because my train of thought derailed.

And it's continuing to derail and has in fact ploughed into a mountainside. I'm going to stop imagining this train now. Remember kids, imaginary trains carry no passengers! See you around.

August 2, 2013

Widderschynnes to your doom.

EPISODE 182: OH NO!

about a million lines away lies the completion of a project that probably never will be. I dunno, I'm just guessing.

so... many... numbers...

Thursdays, like clockwork. Like fucking clockwork.

protect the memory.

If you don't believe in me, I won't believe in you. You're screwing it up.

magic number just magically keeps getting higher and higher...

Let's go to the stars. Seriously, the stars. Hollywood. Hollyweird even. I wouldn't mind a trip. Acid trip maybe but a trip nonetheless. Probably something to keep you on your toes as well because I wouldn't mind the walk up Baldwin Street either or maybe a climb up the towers and... and... and... rrrrrrrrainbow jelleh. Or cupcakes. Or... a cardboard box?

squit squit squit

Hey, Houston, uh... you're not gonna like this...

now it seems like I've somehow gotta find a way to remember and recite every fucking thing you've said to me. I already got a bad case of déjà vu from you as is.

car goes past
bad day gets worse
small town kid gets big city wakeup and fucking loves it so fucking much he stays.

We already gave up our tears to the neon sky. What now?

Criminies I thought this shit was meant to be gone but now I'm all agitated and shit like a washing machine and I have zero idea why. I get the feeling that I'm going to regret writing this blog post but I suppose I shouldn't regret anything. I'm going now.

Yo Kemosabe... you're a good egg.

July 28, 2013

Pancakes and underpants

EPISODE 181: THIS IS NOT A GAME OF THRONES BUT A GAME OF PHONES!

flarp. I'm back.

This will be Season 10 and y'all know me by now so I'll just give you the vital details just in case y'all don't know me.
  • I am CJ.
  • I am 6'3".
  • I have blue eyes and brown hair. (Now.)
  • I saw about a hundred and fifty aeroplanes today.
  • I have a very idiosyncratic vocabulary.
  • I love Disclosure.
  • I am an adventurous sod.
  • At the end of this year I will have two pieces of paper.
  • My feet hurt.
As of today, this blog has been running for 1,603 days. Now isn't that interesting?

I am running very fast along this blog because I wish to complete it by midnight tonight so that the above fact is correct.

aeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroplane I kinda lost count and interest after 50 but I think I got to 150ish aeroplanes

I hate winter.

tiredness and ShockOne are currently competing against each other for my attention and mental state but I shall prevail and SLEEP. because SLEEP gives you strength. so does soy, but that's a different story altogether.

This was only supposed to be an introduction to me and my insanity, but I've rambled on a bit longer than expected. Hope you don't mind. Y'know... because you're reading this and all. And... I'm probably reading it too.

And now for a CJ joke, courtesy of the CJ Joke Appreciation Society. Gellibrand Hill is near the airport here. I guess they called it Gellibrand Hill because of all the aeroplanes.

June 18, 2013

There's a chill in the air.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #180
"Bam."

It's that time of year again. A slitghtly serious post to finish the ninth series off, and to preview the tenth.

Before we do, we interrupt this program to present the contents of my backpack:
  • little tub of jelly babies
  • torch
  • UV torch
  • spare batteries
  • empty containers
  • pencilcase
  • iPod
  • deodorant
  • tablet
  • 3DS
  • DS
  • two DS game cases
  • five or six charger cables
  • sunglasses
  • painkillers
  • small first aid kit
  • toolbox
  • tablet
  • novel-of-the-week
  • two USB sticks
  • water bottle
  • hoodie
  • GPS receiver
  • poncho
  • wristwatch
  • necklace-in-the-making
  • calculators
  • knickknacks
  • mX (if I've recently been to the city)
  • wristwatch
That's not a backpack. That's a friggan purse.

But anyway. A recap of the semester, in dot point form.

  • LE BAM. Best summer EVAR.
  • Bring on the final year project!
  • Centrelink sucks balls. But I am kinda forced on it.
  • Ooh, sweet final year project!
  • I've discovered treasure hunting. And I'm a junkie.
  • Blue hair!
  • Moar T-shirts. Moar and moar and moar.
  • Bring on the final year project.
  • Passing my subject six weeks early!
  • Jumped in headfirst again.
  • Jumped out again. Oh well.
  • Doctor Who, Doctor Whooooooo, HEY! The T.A.R.D.I.S...
  • Final year project is grinding on me...
  • More time off! Let's see some comedies!
  • Hey, I just hundred-percented another game!
  • OK, final-year project is annoying.
  • Jumped in headfirst again. This time I ain't jumping out for anyone.
  • It's winter time! My exams went well. End of the season.
A word from my sponsors:

bleek.

Thank you.

But still. I am having a great time and my blog has not been updated nearly as much as it should. I am saying this yet again but I'm not sure if I'll keep up my red-hot pace in season 10. The final season from the House Of Leaves. Tune your RSS feed readers my way in late July/early August, as per normal protocol, or else I shall be forced to pour ketchup all over you and call you Lawrence. I just ordered a lifetime's supply of ketchup too, so don't think I'm not serious. Let's begin again soon!

come again.

June 12, 2013

Are you game enough?


THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #179
"There's a Link in the boiler room! Wait... amidoinitrite?"


ooooooooozey.

I see a handful of joy about to approach me off the starboard side, and genuinely, this fills me with dread. And dreadlocks. I should grab pie.

I have always hated it when, you know, you do that thing, where you do the thing and forget the thing that you were going to do the thing with? You know that thing! Where you forget the name of the thing and the thing is just a thing? And then you read the word "thing" so many times that it stops looking like a word and just becomes a... thing?

Thiiiiiing!

I see a cat.

What do a block of ice, the numbers 5 and 0, a cow, a chemical vat, naughts and crosses, and Minecraft have in common?

For a happy ever after, give CJ a call! Just dial 5500 50005005550550550505500555505500050505 5 on your phone (including the spaces) and request a large peanut butter sandwich with extra vanilla extract when the operators get on the line. Unless it's Patricia, in which case, just ask for a small blanket and a pair of tongs. Or Rupert, in which case you should (carefully) ask for a jar of talcum powder.

11h30, and thirty-one seconds!

My magic number is now at 350...

Eat more cake. Please. I speak on behalf of the cookies, cake and carrot consumption committee. Please - more cake!

Finally, an announcement. One more post for season nine. The House Of Leaves has been a good inspiration! Let's keep on keeping on.

god has been away on business for a damn long time.

May 31, 2013

A door? A bull?

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #178
"Bickies."
















this post intentionally left blank

























i'm being serious here guys.





















it is blank















blank blank



























blanket


















blankety blank


















blanker than paper

















now, do fuck off



























it is still blank





















nope. still blank
























stilllllllll blank






















fine. i'm going now. bye.

one day, the music box will open. it'll play jingle bells.

May 23, 2013

Exploring the junkyard to infinity?

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #177
"Well, I've had worse ghosts and wolves attacking me."

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

And by food I mean I say I eat a piece of cheese and macaroni and cheese and cookies alongside the last of the rainbow jelleh and noodles that contain chocolate eggs with Hollandaise sauce on the inside and Tabasco sauce on the top. TABASCO.

But in all honesty my midnight snack is a great big heaping bowl of pasta so WHY AM I STILL A FUCKING SKINNYSAURUS REX.

ka-klick

Aw fuck. That would be the feds with their nerf guns. Looks like I'm going downtown.

*walk walk walk*

'Ello, 'ello, wot's all this then?
Shut up CJ. You're a menace to society with that blog of yours.
Welp. You lot don't beat around the bush.
Shut up CJ. We are beginning to like your blogging behaviour a lot less.
You wouldn't be the first.
Shut up CJ. We realise that you can't stop the signal, so you're going to have to tone yourself down a fraction.
I don't like that.
Shut up CJ. Get out of here and seriously... consider this your first and final warning.
Fine. Goodbye.
Shut up CJ.

*walk walk walk*

So issues have come up from the feds. Toning stuff down a fraction... now.

Too bad they didn't say what fraction!

FLABFBHJCLCNLOFAEORGNHAKEBVILUHARIULEWBGALGKUBABYHASRUYEGAIJUPTQIUREWGHKAGDHGAMJDSHBVKQUWBRYVJHTGMAEWRFKIWTQOLITGRUAGHKROIUTGAIOURLGFALEIUTKHGILAWGHHDKABVXMNZIULAHJALPQOILA

THROW ME OFF A THREE-FOOT SKYBRIDGE

LAPSES IN CONCENTRATIONNNNNNNNNNN owl

nnnnnnnnnnah

I am brighter than gold, she's a rattlesnake.

HDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHDHD.

LANCH.

88935489345718340563459786213015620385761294578216721012573608768935567302157816289357235025602381576290385632019573628301876.

And now for today's second made-up word: chliret. Yay!

seriously, winter. fuck off.

May 17, 2013

I am not sponsored by Coca-Cola.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #176
"I can say my time was well spent."

SO I AM PERFECT. Or at least, that's what folks say. If by "folks" I mean me. Which I do. Because I am perfect. Any complaints about this perfection should be sent straight to hell.

But, on with it.

Once again I can say with confidence "long live my cricket bat" and my magic number is still slowly increasing, so I am slowly living through life. There's the boring bits out of the way. The insanity shall begin again!

greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen.

I HAZ RAINBOW JELLEH THAT IS NOT NECESSARILY RED OR PUCE IN COLOUR BUT IS DELECTABLY TASTY. I am now taking catering orders for rainbow jelleh - send requests via hate mail, directed at Tony Abbott and mailed at his address. PLEASE.

e2-e3. Your move, Internet.

splat.
splat.
splat.
splat.
splat.
splat.

clouds.

Well, that was fast. And unexpected. Be prepared for my unexpectedness. And I'm also kinda shellshocked - get me over that hump and I'm set. DO THE FLOP.

Drop it in my box like it's hot SHUT UP THERE ARE NO INYOURENDOS HERE please move along.

deadlocked

Crap. Running out of time and space and continuums. Also running out of cheese for the Ideas Weasel. Must be that time of time again. Emotions ahoy!

i am not sponsored by pepsi either.

May 5, 2013

Speak in silent tongues.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #175
"Flash, flash, double flash. Nice ring."

We now come with double the liquid. And double the liquid means triple the care. Burger get!

I have somebody hovering over my shoulder, apparently trying to get an insight into the creative process that goes on in my head. I gotta warn y'all, everything in my head is kinda gooey. I honestly don't think you'd want that. Hell, I don't like goo. And I don't like being hit on the head. And this episode is coming to you:
  • fifty-three hours after I started socialising
  • forty-five hours after I went home
  • forty hours after I woke up (not in a gutter so get your minds out of it)
  • thirty-three hours after I made the least wise decision ever
  • nineteen hours after getting home again
  • eleven hours after waking up again
  • and, respectively: forty, thirty-nine, thirty-eight-and-half, thirty-seven, thirty-four, thirty point three, thirty, twenty nine point nine (recurring), twenty nine and a bit, twenty nine and a smaller bit, twenty nine, one, one half, one quarter, one eighth, and one sixteenth hours since drinking coffee (two shots of espresso. every time.)
It's also coming to you from under an owl blankie.

Icing sugar. Let's talk about icing sugar for a bit. Actually, no, wait, because the hoverer is getting a bit closer and ACTUALLY GIVING ME MORE MATERIAL TO USE SO DON'T BUGGER OFF JUST YET I KINDA NEED YOU THERE BECAUSE IT IS ACTUALLY QUITE FUN AND NEVER MIND THE MANIACAL GRIN CURRENTLY SPREADING ACROSS MY FACE I AM JUST GRINNING ABOUT WRITING AND NOT SOME EVIL PLAN THAT I HAVE IN MIND I SWEAR IT wait where are you going? Oh right, you're just moving three feet so you get a better view of the screen OH WAIT NO DO NOT

too late

i'm blown

and not in the fun way

...welp. Fucked that one up majorly. And now somebody has actually seen the blog before it is published. Trade secrets revealed. I shall be ruined. Unless I...

...I'll be back.

*footsteps, et cetera.*

*sound of silence.*

*more et cetera, and more footsteps.*

That thing you just read was me scooting up to said hoverer and offering them a bribe to keep their mouth shut about the creative process. Now I am destitute. That is a fancy way of saying "broker than a stockbroker". So I need fundage to help me churn out the rest of this series. Send me donations in the usual fashion: if you want to donate cheques or banknotes, superglue them to the back of a dead flying eagle, wait four hours, then smash an egg over your forehead; if coins, find me in the street (look for the blue hair) and stuff them down my jumper (the back please, my nipples are allergic to metal); if credit card, FUCK YOU because I just felt like saying "fuck you" in this blog. But seriously, if credit card, just tap, swipe or insert. Sometimes all three, in that order, and sometimes not with a credit card.

I MEANT A DEBIT CARD TOO YOU DIRTY-MINDED FUCKS.

...ahem. So something has given me awesoma powa tonight in my Blogging Chair. I think it is my owl blankie. Although it could also be the fifty-four square ounces of coffee I consumed about 17.π hours ago. Or the blatant accusations of eating icing sugar under the table. Or the fact that my Curryland producers are so anxiously waiting for me to write another blog that they are staring at me so hard right now that they look like owls. (The one on the left even hooted and stuck out his forked tongue.)

...maybe I do need some sleep. Ta.

the shudders return.

April 26, 2013

Do it.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #174
"Joss Whedon has his work cut out for him."

The (hypothetical) movie of my life!
  • Name: "Be More Patient Than Reality"
  • Genre: Tragicomedy
  • Writer: Joss Whedon
  • Director: Steven Spielberg
  • Starring:
    • Zach Braff (as CJ)
    • David Tennant (as my oldest friend)
    • Laurence Fishburne, Zooey Deschanel, Anna Paquin, Emma Stone (as my best friends)
    • Jenna-Louise Coleman (as my sister)
    • Ginnifer Goodwin (as my flatmate)
  • Synopsis:
    A semibiographical look at my move to Melbourne and subsequent journey through uni, with about 35% fiction layered on top.
    The film opens when I move to Melbourne and start living it up in college. I make friends and start having a blast at college and uni, but then tragedy strikes as one of my friends is Whedoned (not killed! just realistically written out). After some angsty soul-searching (and a few thrilling heroics), I choose a new lifestyle and begin again. (Sequel? Maybe not.)
    Expect owls. And funny bits. And the Eureka Tower. Also, there may be a scene with a hot tub, I haven't decided yet. (Hell, I've already cut out the scene where I hack ASIO.)
  • Soundtrack:
    • Recover - Chvrches (opening credits)
    • Concertmate (Bobermann rmx) - Alan1 (when I'm going into the city)
    • Never Acid Again (Neonlight rmx) - Cause4Concern (partying haaaard)
    • Lights On - Katy B & Ms Dynamite (at the same party)
    • Diane Young - Vampire Weekend (driving along the freeway)
    • Belong - Washed Out (beach trip)
    • Die Slow (Tobacco rmx) - Health (just after a disappointment)
    • To Cut A Long Story Short (Vicarious Bliss Mellotron rmx) - Cazals (at a particularly sad bit)
    • Lividup - Disclosure and Sleepyhead - Passion Pit (both for the balcony scene)
    • Gonna Make It - Vydamo (during the fireworks)
    • Freedom - Emma-Louise (final song of the movie as it pans up to the night sky)
    • Do The Astral Plane - Flying Lotus (final credits)
  • Run time: ~124 mins
  • Budget: $200,000 (I wish)
  • OFLC rating: MA15+ (naughty bits!)
  • Alright, hell, you can have it in 16:9 HD.
  • Production Company: Grilled Mouse
  • Release date: One day...
alright, that's enough silliness for one day.

April 16, 2013

My kingdom for a curse!


THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #173
"I told you that I was ill."

...deciding to bet half my sanity against the red door of courage which lifted my spirits of the farcical snackbox which just got replenished with mops and ligatures that don't even make sense in context of greenness, aeroplanes, lift me up beyond the clouds to break my mnemonic, the colours red and brown, and foresight, because white blood cells make lights and musics beyond thoracic goodness and cheeseballs of semi-doom, generating a pain sequence rivalled only by the hawk's eye and the tie-dyed rainy mood gasping for water underneath pobblebonks' lairs and roasted fruitbats, thereby creating mystic opportunities and gyrations, long live my cricket bat, and actual misery incoming decides to have at the carpet of James Bond's plaza, with speakers blaring pasta and videos of naked mole rats clutching screwdrivers used to tread water, albeit shallow, towards cars and cars and cars of caravans and the pencils of hope and diamonds, painted blackest of black and toned down by the public safety officers' truth or falsity value which lies somewhere between the two semimajor axes of ellipsoids and the letter from the grieving pair of headphones with a tad bit of paste right where the sun shines pink and doesn't stop to think that owls have ears, or maybe the floppy keyboard just wanted to chat and read up on chess in the 1980s and the crappy bandwidth that one gets these days on elephants, ballpoint pen caps see reason, sour tastes and a moan from Trentemøller saying "caramel, caramel" when the time deserves it and re-reads the brochure from a company dealing exclusively in CGI USB sticks, corn chips and bite-sized latitude where tawny frogmouths read James Joyce and James Dean and Jamie Oliver for fun and pleasure, not profit, like clowns in the Vatican are likely to do, but when it comes to crunch time yachting can be a harrowing experience, much like retinal blur and dogtags that read "hello world" or just "there", never mind that he is staring, and forget about Hawaii for now because that Noodle Incident proclaimed that you're a fool and fog machines created the universe...

the ghosts are the clouds,
the triangles are squares,
and twin clocks do not always agree.

brought to you by curryland ramblings, inc.

April 9, 2013

Well, it's better than my day job.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #172
"Four friends, a chance, treasure hunting, and cheeseburgers."

Alright, fine. The Ideas Weasel has gone on holiday. So have this instead.


Love is crazy, you know, love shining nuts, majestic creator of his body evolver start

In my opinion that is worth a little bit of fun, and yesterday, on my blog for everyone. If I do, but it does not know you now because the Engrish, knownst, which for me any more than fluff. Strong Engrish! Yeah. I am very pleased and dumplings.

Thank you for your fingers and custard fish.

If you have not seen my Twitter feed, you run. Its focus is on the Monday, I have released five songs every week cool music. Hear the tourists, especially to the Astral Plane Flying the Lotus, this is a brilliant song. In addition, the doctor shook my small world. I really want to see what happens this last two came out.

I think I will now have a new customer writer. Figza core or four, maybe maybe. I have many rope. So, let's take a look at those who ...

Now my main number is 247. This marked increase in my words. It grows quickly, we quickly increase. Also, I think I set the new desktop, and come up with. Great! I love custard buns.

Ah. I, I can tell other people what is everyone involved in it is not a huge spoiler warning? I know! Aircraft, bicycles, all I can say about cheese. This is because it is the ABC's CJ - Curry. So far. This situation may change. Maybe. I do not know.

This episode is not written on my balcony. Someone who has the call my pocket. I asked the custard buns.

Squeak.

Will have a few minutes to me? Thank you. You can get them back is not.

The sun, the rain, and the experience has brought you Ellen Allien, brought to you by Google Translator. Great!


this footer is not the only part that isn't in Engrish.

April 2, 2013

A funny thing happened on the way to the blogosphere tonight...

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE #171
"'Elite Freelance Treasure Hunter' has a nice ring to it."

Ladies and gentlemen, I have some sad news for you. The CJ Curry Experience is ending with this episode. It's been a great run and I thank you all for viewing and faithfully tuning your RSS feed readers toward me, but I h... oh wait. April Fool's Day has been and gone again, hasn't it? Dammit. Right, well, that's thrown a spanner in my works, because I have nothing else planned.

Excuse me while I go and feed the Ideas Weasel.

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Music!

Nah, music is pretty much overdone in this blog. And on my Facebook. And damn near everything I touch. (by the way you should go listen to this, this and this) And in the meantime, more food for the Weasel.

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* News!

I did a newspost a couple of posts ago. I don't want to do more than one within such a short span of time, otherwise people will rely on me too much. I ain't a newspaper. (by the way North Korea has spat the dummy at South Korea... again) Time to feed the Weasel again.

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Curryland!

Actually, Curryland is a bit boring at the moment. We've hit a fairly neutral point in our history and we're waiting for the inevitable apocalypse at the end of 2013. (by the way I ate an egg)

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Warped English!

Too late. I've already started the post. (by the way there is another one of these posts coming at a random time and date)

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Aeroplanes!

Aeroplanes are... hm. Actually, I haven't seen many aeroplanes. And the ones I have seen have been annoying as hell. (by the way three stopped us filming a sketch today so I am quite annoyed at them for the moment but I am sure that will change)

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Balcony session!


That... that goes back to music. I gotta upgrade the quality of the Idea Weasel food. Rainbow jelly perhaps?

nom nom nom nom nom

*burp* GTKY!

Get...getting to know you? I only do that twice a year and I have already expired this season's quota! Stupid weasel!

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Hole punchers!

The hell does that even... I can't write a whole blog out of hole punchers!

nom nom nom nom nom
*burp* Anti-freeze!

Alright. I'm gonna replace the Weasel.

nom nom no-
NO! No more rainbow jelly for you! Back into your box. And for now, I apologise, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to hold off more original content until next time I jump into the Internettingness. Or next Tuesday, whichever comes first. In the meantime, I need a new Ideas Weasel, and if anyone has a fresh one (or second-hand, for that matter) that they'd like to donate to the show, email it to me by April Fool's Day 2013 (in another time zone, silly.) by packaging it up in a manatee-sized box and attaching wings to it via Red Bull.

hey. you try coming up with ideas that don't involve cheese.
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