June 13, 2011

Your FACE is a beanbag chair.

the 99th experience has begun...


So it's nearly a hundred episodes. Nearly. But not. Seriously, can't you tell the difference between 99 and 100? You stupid monkeys. 99 is when you add 66 and 33 and 100 is when you multiply 50 and 2. But anyway. I've got something planned for Episode 100 (yeah, that's an outright lie) so I'll wrap up this series unofficially here. Goodbye.

Or maybe I'll wrap it up unofficially at the end of the post. Al-fucking-right, here you go then.
  • 2011 started out with summer, like every year does. But summer failed us, so we looked at autumn instead. Autumn is a really nice word. It's part of my suburb's name: Autumn Hills. (yeah, that's another outright lie) If you go stealing the name "Autumn Hills" I will mash you. I'm serious here.
  • Spent most of January in and out of Fundoora and the Rat, going between duty and cricket; between cheese and cats; between aeroplanes and nothing. So there's not much to report except for a mashed left thumb (courtesy of a leap of faith).
  • The hot tub. Rach, Em and Mike have stumbled across a goldmine here. Much fun has been had in the hot tub since January, and much fun will be had sooner or later. By the way, we had cheese and crackers and wine in that hot tub, it wasn't all just unsophisticated student parties (yeah, that's also an outright lie).
  • Oh yeah, I stayed in Menzies College for a week. I don't think I'm properly cleansed yet, either. Next goal: Glenn College.
  • February was where things really kicked off. I allegedly became sillier (yeah, I wish that was an outright lie) and I definitely helped kick off uni for a handful of dozens of pairs of groups of students. And I was never pulled into a pit of mud. Only pushed.
  • Team Slightly Grey - if you're reading this, we all know who the real winners of that day were.
  • March marched onwards. As it tends to do. I zombiefied myself for the fifth time. I took a Frisbee square in the teeth. (Unfortunately they weren't the teeth I'm removing in a few weeks' time.) And I lost my voice. As well as started uni, ofc.
  • Kirsten took the most annoying photo of me, ever. But that's OK. I've counterbalanced it with the best photo of me, ever. It's my Facebook profile pic. If you don't know my Facebook by now, you are a stalker and you must fuck off. Everybody fucked off? Good. Move on.
  • In April, chocolate came.
  • I buggered off to SXSE for a week. (That's abbreviation-speak for "south by south east".) Which is quite literally what the independent island nation of Tasmania is (yeah, that last bit was an outright lie).
  • I picked up a new toy. The new toy was merely an upgrade. But hell if it's not a really COOL upgrade. Besides, the upgrade will become more useful as we progress.
  • I temporarily turned into the Stig Grand High Super Top Head Vice Ultra Mega Happy Democrator ALOYSIUS J. SNOTTENHEIMER, Ph. D., supreme dictator of the Democratic Republican Empire of Curry (or Curryland for short), of which Autumn Hills is a suburb. You may, of course, address me as "Hey you".
  • I picked up a zombie laptop and killed it again within some 30 hours. Piss eggs. Also the Fist returned. Dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnn... And speaking of fists:
  • May saw me seeing Lights And Music, the same way that January saw me seeing a Wildcat. We added about fifty pages to the college cookbook - all of them blank - and I sang about The Truth (yeah, none of those were outright lies).
  • We held a ball. (Write your own jokes.) I wish I could have gone in a Tanooki suit - I'm seriously considering one of those next time around.
  • I planked. (yeah, that's almost an outright lie)
  • And now we're in June. I'm not going to tell you anything about June, because quite frankly, I'm a stuck-up pretentious wanker who thinks that my blogs are popular worldwide (yeah, that's an outright lie). It's fucking cold. I'm fucking cold.
See you soon. One to go.

join the experience again soon...

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