Ease yourselves.

EPISODE 199: THE 199TH EPISODE THAT EVER EXISTED

raiiiiiiisin toast.

Poor you. You're struggling with the concept that I actually exist. Well, I can prove it - I am not a chair, so hence I exist. Does that satisfy you? No? Well, sad then.

Poor you. You're either alone or missing someone at the moment. Well, you're doing better than Leno - poor Leno. Does that make you feel better? No? Well, I'm doing a bad job.

So the most interesting thing to happen of late is that I was kicked and banned from a Facebook group. The kick was done by the admins, the ban is self-imposed. I'm not even sorry - if you could have everything you want, would you want it all of the time? (in one case, the answer is YES - lookin' at one particularly eternally scruffy person here)

A sign of my social calendar's explosiveness: I had to turn down a cricket game.

Ah crap. Trentemøller has infected my playlist again with the "for a while I seemed to fit but time is up" ideal, which I have heard too much lately. Bee arr bee.



Right. Now I'm back. And I'm bad. Within certain sensible preset parameters, of course. Now, where were we?

...

erm.

I've forgotten.

Albatrosses, beavers, and chess?
Alkalines, baskets, and clocks?
Androids, buckets, and cinderblocks?
Aeroplanes, bicycles, and cheese?
Aardvarks, blisters, and cryogenics?

Actually, I think it was the second-last one.

Or maybe it was Nash equilibria. I don't know. Maybe. Let's all develop amanæmonesia and find out - but don't mistake it for magic.

I have a much bigger WHAT streak in me than I imagined?! ...Excuse me while I process that information with some bourbon.

If pieces of bread are shoes, does that make them loafers?

Also, WHY THE FUCK DOES 30% OF MY AUDIENCE STILL USE INTERNET EXPLORER?!