May 23, 2009

SOMEONE. WILL. DIE.

You've known me for 18 posts and hated me for 20. So I shall reveal a secret: the secret behind my annoyingly stupid screen name. But that won't happen until the end of the season. Bahaha! SUSS PENCE!

Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. We promise that once you've been through the Experience, you'll never have to leave the house again, unless it's for food, entertainment, or to take the kids to school.

I've been chewing ice all day and night because my freezer is thawing. Ice makes me feel good because it's cold and I can't stand non-cold drinks. I considered staying up all night to watch the sun rise but instead I stayed up all night playing chess. That gives you an idea about how truly exciting my life isn't. (Trust me, it's more exciting than I give it credit for.)

POST 18: THE END IS NIGH

Java is my bitch. Let me show you!

public class Blog
{
public static void main(String[] args)
{
Reader you = new Reader(personReadingBlog);
User me = new User(cjCurry);
int postNumber = 18;
double annoyanceFactor = 0;
for(int number = 0; number <> 50)
{
System.out.println("If you're that annoyed by my blog, GTFO.");
}
else
{
System.out.println("I swear, I will offend you yet!");
}
if(you.equals(idiot) && me.hasNotInsultedYet)
{
System.out.println("You are an idiot!");
}
else
{
System.out.println("You are not an idiot. Please disregard.");
}
System.out.println("Blogging is fun. Be my friend!");
}
}

See? It's my bitch!

Mathematics is also my bitch. Let me show you!

Proof that all odd numbers are prime (according to several members of several different professions) follows.

(First: a quick reminder. Prime numbers are numbers that can only be exactly divided by themselves, and the number 1 - in other words, they have two factors. 4 is not a prime number, because it can be exactly divided by 2. 5 is a prime number, because it can only be divided exactly by 5 and 1.

Also: a quick explanation. By definition, the number 1 is not a prime number, as it has only one factor. Don't argue with me, I'm a maths geek. However, for the time being, I am treating 1 as a prime number.)

MATHEMATICIANS: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the proof follows by induction.

PHYSICISTS: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the empirical evidence is overwhelming.

STATISTICIANS: Let us take a sample of odd numbers: 5, 97, 43, 37, and 101. They are all prime, so all odd numbers must be prime.

UNIX USER: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, SEGMENTATION FAULT - CORE DUMPED

MAC USER: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, Ooh look! Pretty picture!

WINDOWS VISTA USER: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, Would you like to continue this action? Yes/No

PSYCHOLOGIST: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is latently prime but repressing it...

GAMER: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is only prime after completing the game and unlocking everything...

ZX-81 USER: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, OUT OF MEMORY

LOLCAT: 1 iz prime, 3 iz prime, I iz hungry. Now givez me cheezburger.

AUSTRALIAN: Prime? You mean Kevin Rudd, right?

ARTS MAJOR: What's a prime number?

SPORTS MAJOR: What's a number?

Thank you to ariels, Footprints and AmbitionDesign for about 85% of that joke. If I find or think up more, send me a hand-thrown piece of parchment entitled "I have fought the big knives..."

Ouch ouch. My stomach is hurting me. I need food. Therefore, bye bye. But before I go, I need you to know that I love you. Nearly. Thanks for playing. Now, go away.

3 comments:

@$#133! said...

Yes ceej, someone will die and that person is you.

"ARTS MAJOR: What's a prime number?" yeah, not funny.

MATHEMATICIAN=jerk :-P

thefireeternal said...

What about 2? 2 is a prime number.

CJ Curry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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