October 26, 2009

Me, you, and joy.

Don't break.

Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. We swear that you'll enjoy yourself here... but we also swear that swearing will get you in trouble with the law. YMMV, DYOT.

Please don't break.

POST 36: A POST-APOCALYPTIC WORLD ALL GONE SANE... WAT

I say. Do you wish to partake in a pot of tea? Very well. I shall put the water on the cooking top to boil. In the meantime, I will tell you - yet again - where to send any donations to. As you may well know, CJ Curry Studios is running short of episode ideas to put into the canon. (That is not a misspelling.) If you have any ideas, send $499.90 (in cash only, please) to CJ Curry Studios, CJ Curry Land, Currytopia (postal code 7729542-A) by Monday, 26th October, 2009. Stuff your envelope into the nearest tree, cluck like a chicken four times, and fly east 200 metres for the teleportation beam to activate.

Au revoir, Simone... don't break.

Half of you reading this - in other words, half a person - will be aware that I am fuelled not by coffee, adrenaline, sugar, or even Berocca. I'm actually running on business cards at the moment. Tasty, delicious business cards!

It's... um... warm. Outside. I'm warm. I'm not outside. Urgh, machinery outside my window. Machinery headed this way. Machinery coming straight towards my window OH GOD THEY'VE CAUGHT ME






don't break






Ba HA! The pot of tea rusted that machine's ass! I win! And now we can get back to the Experience.

Hm. Let's pick out a few random cards out of a deck, and let them tell us my fortune.
  1. Three of hearts. That's representative of how many I'll break this year. (That is, 365 days.)
  2. Two of diamonds. I wish I had two diamonds. Selly selly!
  3. Three of spades. I'm gonna dig three graves this year.
  4. Four of spades. Make that four graves.
  5. Eight of hearts. What a shitful hand for poker!
I have class. No, seriously, I have class. It's a maths class. Plus, I have the other definition of class. I'm classy! Back soon.

**************************************

I'm back! And I'm on a hill! It's not a boat, but a hill is good too!

Anyway. Back to the post. It's a nice day out here in Curryland, with the sunshine and the snow. Snow... wait, what? Oh right. Thems are soap flakes. Soap flakes... wait, what? OI! CUT IT OUT, YOU!

...ahem. Don't break.

Anyway, this is Axis. He has something to say to you:
"cheese."
And to that, I reply:
"lemmings."
And this is Milly-Grace, and she says:
"monkeys, in actual fact, are NOT cute. They are endearing, but NOT cute."
And this is Flippa, and she says:
"the triangles are not actually square."
Thanks guys, you make this blog more... bloggy.

aaaaaaaaaaaaand now it looks like they're throwing down for a game of One Touch. Seeya.

Credits (listed in order of appearance)
CJ Curry               Ringo Starr
The Blog Kevin Rudd
CJ's Computer Ron Weasley
Milly-Grace Jennifer Hawkins
Axis Rowan Atkinson
Flippa Lara Bingle
Gaffer Pope John Paul II
Best Boy Pope Benedict V
Moose Trainer Jackie Chan
Cheese-eating Surrender Monkey
Jean-Claude van Damme
Assistant to the Director's Assistant's Assistant
Chas Licciardello
Special Thanks Jim Henson
Producer Jerry Seinfeld

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