April 21, 2010

We have a little problem.

Hi. I'm CJ. And I win at life, while you flounder.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE 52: SO OVER RATED

Ace of clubs.
Jack of hearts.
Jack of diamonds.
Six of diamonds.
Queen of diamonds.
See? SEE?! THIS is why I don't play poker!!!

...ahem. Excuse me for a moment.

*****
--what are you two doing to my legs?
--ay, we're just cleaning them.
-- cleaning my legs? with marshmallows? are you insane?
--no. we're crazy.
--ah. that's different. carry on... but don't use the pink marshmallows. can't stand the taste.
--you lick your legs? are you crazy?
--no. i'm insane.
--a'ight. marshmallow time.
*****

And so, to business. Carl Williams is dead. But rock and roll has been dead longer. And Ludwig van Beethoven should never have died. FUCKING. GENIUS.

And I can't beat my best friend's video game record, even though it's my game. FUCK. I will take tomorrow off and work hard on it all day until I beat him.

But in ze meantime, I need to talk about my addiction to ice. No, not crystal meth. I am addicted to ice, the frozen water type thing. It's even worse that I have a Space Invaders ice cube tray. NOW WE PROBLEMS. NOW WE DEFINITELY PROBLEMS. Ice is my weakness and I must conquer it. Joy.conquer.all -- if you know of any Ice Anonymous support groups near me, tell me in the usual way: send a scathing email to me and then go jump in a pool of jelly. Jello. Whatever.

I need an excuse. Not for anything, I just need an excuse. I might need to use it in the future. GIMME.

Also: The Game. Sucks to be you.

Confucius say: "Stop quoting me, motherfuckers."

THERE IS NOT A FACEPALM BIG ENOUGH FOR SHELDON FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY. I MUST ENDEAVOUR TO MAKE ONE.

And finally, I leave you with these randomly-generated numbers of wisdom:
Version:1.0 StartHTML:0000000155 EndHTML:0000000764 StartFragment:0000000475 EndFragment:0000000747
0.65071099344641000000
wait, what? I swear OO.o has problems. Still.

Later

--C.

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