Toothpicks are shiny.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 01101001

"PSYCHIC FORETELLING POWERS?"

I munch my cold leftover pizza and finish my music review. I type.

I eat a chocolate bar. I glance at the clock. I realise I should probably fuck off as I have sleep to attend to (otherwise kittens will die).

I ignore my own advice. I look at Facebook. I also look up meme faces. I search for "Challenge Accepted".

I glance at tomorrow's to-do list. I see three tasks. I take a more in-depth look. I see eight tasks. I cross off the two I've already done. I still see eight tasks. I remember the two I crossed off were daily tasks.

I immerse myself in the soundlab soundscapes. I reflect on micro and minimalistic music. I want to induce a micro phase upon myself. I uncontrollably think of Inception. I uncontrollably think of the Game. I lose the Game.

I look at my wombat. I enjoyed filming today.

I consider the progress I've made in Borderlands. I believe I'm doing a good job. I remember I'm at Lv37 and I remember I'm in Jakobs Cove in Playthrough 1. I like it.

I snap back to reality. I remember that tomorrow I'm feeding a third of the college. I realise they're cooking it themselves. I recognise that I've done this before.

I throw two dice. I roll a six and a three. I note that this is equal to my charisma score. I can't remember if equal-or-greater is positive for me, or equal-or-lower, or strictly-lower, or strictly-greater. I grab my +2 sword instead. I can't remember what that adds two points to. I ready my last Fireball spell. I fling it at the Black Pudding. I read my iPod. I remember that in RPGs iPods don't exist and the iPod vanishes with a puff of logic. I have a cup, and it is full of tea. I move north and I hit a brick wall. I remember that I'm in my bedroom and north of me is a brick wall. I remember Randy Pausch. I walk through the brick wall.

I get eaten by a grue.

(psst. time to fuck off, eh?)

When will you learn? When will I learn?

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 2³ x 13

"DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS AND BLAND"

...

...

...

...

...

Whoa. You startled me. I didn't expect you to return. At all. Erm... I actually have nothing planned, so I'll just make some shit up. OK? OK. Here goes.

"Leave Night-Time Alone"

as the city sleeps

the sky is lit

and time is lost

i sit on the ridge

visions of tomorrow

running through me

consequences of today

life's burdens are forgotten

life's pleasures are here

a walk is in order

through the concrete jungle

into the forest

of lights and music

people are still walking

people are still talking

people are still buying

people are still drinking

i'm alone in the crowd

the lights are for me

and for me only

it feels nicer

than four hours later

enjoy while you can

tomorrow i'll be dead

tonight i'm very alive

don't worry, i'm fine

Inspiration: an evening on Mt Cooper followed by a walk in the city two nights later. And yes, I made it all up on the spot (save the title, and the last line). So on with the random junk.

Tomorrow I have an interview. They get to ask me questions and I get to answer them and I get to waffle on about my life and how much I am going to have so much fun with my life next year. I swear. In fact I'm considering extending my project. Not sure. Don't take me at my exact word (otherwise kittens will die). I, I, I I I I IIIIIIIIIIIIwe are glad that you are following this Experience. And now here is a cat.

*meow*

And now here is an aeroplane.

*eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeYOWWWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwwwwwww*

And now here is me leaving.

*ka-chunk*

What an august month.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 42 + 37 + 24

"YOU CAN NOT RUN, DON'T BOTHER HIDING"

Time for one of my (in)famous posts about world events and junk like that. Trust me. There will be junk.

• England. Rowan Atkinson has had a car accident, but he's fine. Apparently he lost control of the vehicle and crashed, but was taken to hospital with only minor injuries. You may remember Atkinson from the spy-comedy Johnny English. (via mirror.co.uk)
• Still England. Rupert "Oh Shut Up We've Heard Too Much About You This Fortnight" Murdoch is in even deeper trouble after more arrests and deleted emails. Seriously, guys: HACKING IS WRONG. (via abc.net.au)
• The Phillippines. Police have been charged with abuse of power after they forced trainees to eat, and rub onto their genitals, chillies. Until uni, I always thought "hazing" was a weather effect. Clearly not. (via gulfnews.com)
• Scotland. A skydiver has survived a plunge from over 1,000m with just a broken ankle, after both her parachutes failed. A fellow skydiver reportedly gave her a lucky crystal before jumping, claiming that it helped. Yeah, how lucky can you be when your parachutes both fail?! (via smh.com.au)
• Worldwide. It's Ramadan time again for Muslims worldwide. The month of fasting from sunup to sundown in order to teach Muslims about humility and patience happens roughly this time every year, and every year I'm more impressed. (via news.myjoyonline.com)

Now back to Australia.

• Sydney. A teenager has survived a collar bomb threat after a 10-hour ordeal, during which it was determined that there was no explosive in the device. The "ransom" note was signed with the name of a fictional character. Silly extortionist: now the police will hunt down everyone who loves that book. My thoughts go out to the girl, currently studying for HSC. (via smh.com.au)

Now elsewhere again.

• Worldwide. Google+ has taken off faster than Twitter or Facebook. What is it? Facebook. What does it look like? Not Facebook. Holy shit, I'm now looking at the word "Facebook" and it looks weird. (via computerworld.com)

Sports news. Locally. Again.

• Australia. The AFL is in the spotlight again as comments about teams "tanking" - deliberately losing games to finish with end-of-season draft perks - have been made, yet again. This practice will be particularly evident this weekend, when Geelong will crush the Gold Coast 62.28.400 to 0.0.0. Seriously: RANDOMISE YOUR DRAFT PICKS. That will be the end of tanking. (via theaustralian.com.au)

Finally, weather. There will be lots of it worldwide.

Join me again soon, as I discuss the finer points of being a washed-up blogger who has run short of ideas. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

My fork is forkier than your fork.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 100 + 2

"EAT THIS, FOLKS"

You came back. That was a bad choice.

I have some statistics here that may amuse you. They are all about my life. Numbers amuse me. Numbers are my friend. Numbers rule the world because they just work and they tell people how the world works despite the fact most people think that they're arbitrary but the point is they work EVERY TIME and holy shit I need to start giving you some actual numbers.

• height: 6'3"
• weight: 71kg
• BMI: ridiculously low
• toes: 10
• fingers: 8
• thumbs: 2
• batteries: 2xAA
• age: 0L
• cards: 54
• cards needed: 64
• cheap wine: not enough
• last poker hand dealt: straight (without a flush)
• level on Borderlands: 14
• missions on Starcraft II: 24/25
• songs in iTunes library: 8,560
• your love: not enough

Next, I have a various assortment of factoids about me:

• I eat twenty packets of Mi Goreng every hour
• I own a wombat, whose name is Nivram
• I know world leaders on a first-name basis
• I hold the world record for "most pointless world records"
• I destroyed the Xel'naga race with my bare hands
• I own 10 computers
• I need a massage

Eagle-eyed readers will notice that I have lied on exactly two of those factoids. The other five factoids are true factoids. Which factoids are the true factoids, and which ones are the false factoids? Comment below. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.

Finally, here is a pseudo-random assortment of cards.

• 7♥
• 8♠
• K♣
• Q♦
• 7♠

No wonder I never play poker.

Colourless green ideas sleep furiously.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 101

"THE BOLD, THE BEAUTIFUL, AND THE CJ"

Welcome to the sixth season of the CJ Curry Experience. If you don't know me, then you're in the wrong place. If you do know me, congratulations. Here's what I do: I blog. I blog my stream of consciousness. I blog the world as I see it. I blog your face.

I suppose I'd better start making some sense. And dollars. I'm CJ, and you're not. I'm a uni student who was shown blogspot.com at the age of 19 (the person who did that immediately regretted it). I'm fuelled by sleep deprivation, aeroplanes, and adrenaline rushes brought on by copious amounts of video games and random adventures through Narnia, the Discworld and Hogwarts. But mostly the Discworld.

I have at least one side project.

In real life^TM I study mathematics, statistics, and computer science. I write for everything2.com. I play TBS, RTS, FPS, RPG and sport sim games. I code (but I really only speak Java with any fluency - I only know C++'s swear words). I eat copious amounts of pasta, and say and write the word "copious" copious amounts of times. There's one thing that has changed since last season, that being I now have a wombat. Yay! Finally I can play womball!

If you want to find me, I can disappear. If you want to lose me, I will stick to you like glue. If you don't want to read this post, what the hell are you doing still reading it? Idiot. All that aside, however, I either need jam, or waffles with jam and bagels on top. I'll be back.

Waitaminute. Why am I disappearing in the middle of the first post back? That's normally a trick I reserve for later on. Hm. Either way, I know I'll be just as sporadic as last season, so don't expect the finale until well into December. Though I shall try. Suggest you check back here every week or so. Please. Otherwise kittens will die.