March 15, 2009

I was once a clueless young nerd-boy...

I hate those three magical words "rain, no play" that can unite a country in saying "STOP FUCKING RAINING!" Then again, we need the rain. It keeps the rabbits out.

Anyway. Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. The only M-rated blog with its own orchestra and theme music, and the only M-rated blog that calls itself pretentious.

Today we present the post that is guaranteed to offend, shock, and otherwise just plain piss off. If you're Tasmanian, look away.

POST 3: ENOUGH ABOUT ME, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

I like people. They're gullible, predictable, and annoying. They live for the entertainment of other, higher life forms. If you think I'm cruel, think of what you did do your pet tomato. ...Yeah. That's right.

I live with a bunch of people. They're all about my age, and they're good people. Good people are good to find. ...or is that hard people? Either way, I like you guys. You're the only people I know that can take tequila and turn it into something remotely drinkable.

I study with a bunch of people. They're all about my age, and they're good people. Good people are good to find. ...or is that hard people? Either way, I like you guys. You're the only people I know that can make nerdy jokes about mathematics and get away with it.

I no longer work with a bunch of people. Hi, bunch of people I no longer work with!

I can't think of any other bunches of people. Three bunches is plenty, anyway. I say this not because you need to know that simple fact, but because I like the word "bunch" (I like a lot of words. English is pretty cool sometimes (though not when you start floundering and stuttering and junk like that (junk is also a word I like, you know (oh grow up, it's a word that means "rubbish" (yes, I realise I'm writing these brackets a whole bunch (there it is again, that magic (well, nearly magic) word "bunch"), but it's better than footnotes) and is used every day to mean "trash"), I think it has something to do with the letter K (look at this, turning into Sesame Street) or maybe just how the letters are arranged) which I do a lot because I often speak before I think) which kinda makes it superior to other languages). I also like footnotes, but footnotes in paragraphs like these would make them look far too much like Mark Z Danielewski's House Of Leaves.

Yes. That was a plug.
Yes. I like that book.
Yes. You must buy it.
Yes. You must buy me a sandwich.

Yikes, it's taken me half an hour to write this. I have laundry to do. Bye now!

So anyway, about those Tasmanians...

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