I wish to register a complaint!

Anarchy! Insanity! Craziness!

But enough of that. Now back to the nonsense.

Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. It's the best experience in the world, if you don't mind curry, nonsense, or a pretentious M-rated blog that constantly spouts junk at you, no matter where or who you are.

It's almost holiday season! Only 272 days until Christmas!

POST 7: LUCKY LUCKY LUCKY!!!

It's the lucky 7th post. I shall therefore reveal your horoscope for today. Lucky you!

ARIES
Today, you will meet a tall, dark stranger. Turns out that s/he is gay. No sex for you tonight.

TAURUS
If things seem to be going wrong for you today, it's because things are going wrong. Suck it up, you wuss.

GEMINI
As the moon and Venus get closer together, it's a sure sign that you will be unlucky. Deal with it.

CANCER
You will get cancer.

LEO
Surprisingly, you will not be mauled by a lion. Instead, your long lost auntie will come to visit. (There's a reason she's long-lost...)

VIRGO
Have a drink of water. If it tastes OK, then you haven't been targeted.

LIBRA
Look out for bandicoots. The stars are saying that you'll be beaten to death by a bandicoot.

SCORPIO
Ooh, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now...

SAGITTARIUS
Dear Sagittarians, you may already have won our 10 MILLION DOLLAR GRAND LUCKY PRIZE...

CAPRICORN
The Internet is stalking you. Run and hide under the bed for the rest of the year to get away from it.

AQUARIUS
There's a 23% chance of you catching a cold today. There is also a 77% chance of catching measles.

PISCES
Today, you will meet a tall, dark stranger, who... oh wait, that was Aries. Bad luck, Pisces. You get nothing.