April 10, 2009

Spare a dime?

I have a huge pile of homework sitting next to me that needs to be ignored. Thankfully, I'm a professional homework-ignorer. It's something that I started for shits and giggles, but I really got into it and now I earn an amazing $0.00000000000001 per hour by ignoring homework. Sure, the pay's low, but the work is bloody fantastic.

Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. Because you're worth it.

I have decided to pull out none of the stops. Well one stop. This blog shall be a shade more formatted than previous ones. (Be thankful I learned HTML at an early age.) Just remember that it's still M-rated!

POST 10: DOUBLE FIGURES? OH MAN, HASN'T CURRY MAN BEEN ASSASSINATED YET?

Easter is around the corner. Give a cheer! Easter deserves praise. Praise mayonnaise!

Uk, I can't think of anything silly to write. I need a cheeseburger.

So what's the best way to get rid of an addiction? You punch it in the face and say "fuck you, addiction", because you're too smart to fall for those tricks. Urhh, I hate that word "smart". Don't ask me why. Because I don't know. It's just one of those words.

Ooh! Cheeseburger!

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

Now. To business.

This is the season for eggs. Egg-sactly. It's egg-straordinary. And egg-citing. People may think I'm an eggo-maniac but really I'm just eggceptionally eggheaded. I like egg jokes, but I always end up with egg on my face. In-eggs-orably.
But this post is an egg-ception. I've flown the coop, see, and it doesn't matter how many fowl jokes I make. The yolk's on you. Eggs!

Booyeah! 12 jokes in one paragraph! Doesn't that break some kind of record? You can't make a Guinness world record without breaking any EGGS!

Eggs aside, I need another cheeseburger.

I've often wondered what life is all about. Then the rational part of my brain jumps in and says "fuck you" because that's the kind of thing my brain does.

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

I have a pretty screwy sleeping pattern. And a nutty one. But not a bolty one. That would be weird.

If there's one question I want people to stop asking me, it's "what's the time?" because the answer is always different and I have to look up the answer rather than use my brain. I like using my brain. It's pink, grey, and squidgy. Fun!

More cheeseburger?

Uk, it's too quiet here and now! I wish to raise the tempo a little. Behold!

Why is a boxing ring square? Why is the word "monosyllabic" so long? Why isn't there an acronym for "acronym"? Why is "verb" a noun? Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like it's spelt? Why is it called "lipstick" when you can move your lips?

It only makes me stronger!

nom nom nom nom nom nom nom

Good fun. I shall now leave you with one final assault: NaCl

Because NaCl is salt, get it? Haa haa haa...

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