September 6, 2009

Run, while you still can. N00b.

I liek teh Spelunky. Spelunky is good. It is a good game and a good word. Like "fucky". Whee.

Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience. And you'd better damn well appreciate it.

Today we venture into the past a little bit. Excited, huh? Don't be. "The past" just means last week. Or, then again, it could just mean yesterday. Or even this morning. Or fifteen billion years ago. Who knows? Who cares? Not you!


I really should be tidying my room, getting some sleep, or standing on my head while blowing my socks off. Maybe. But I'm stuck here at 3AM writing a blog nobody reads except you, nobody writes except me, and nobody cares about except the dead moth sitting on Ash Tree Lane. At least, I think that's a moth.


I feel like... erm...

<<<Finish this sentence and win! Well, actually, don't win, but still.>>>

I forgot my pizza...

Does it bother anyone when people ask you if something bothers you? It bothers me, because there's unnecessary bother involved. Bother.

Ya know, I don't believe in equal opportunities for people and plankton. Plankton are so much stupider. Humans deserve more opportunities. I fail at persuasive writing, but what the hell.


Hit that. I dare you.


I have a dream...

whereby I'm naked. (Chakalaka!)

Now. Shall we go deeper into CJ Curry's past? We shall. *ahem*

Last year, I was 73. This year, I'm 74. The year before, I was 67. Take that! I have also steadily been 70 for a long time. Take that! Ooh, J├╝rgen Paape. <<Attention span limit reached!!>>

It's raaaaaaaining...

And now, onto more serio business. I mean serious business.

I have a hat. I have a mug. I have a top. I have a key. I have a pen. I have a cord. C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER

You people must really like me if you keep reading this goo. But I guess I like writing it, so it's fair both ways. I write goo, and you liek mudkipz. Erm...


Credits (listed in order of appearance)

CJ Curry               Jeremy Clarkson
The Blog James May
CJ's Computer Richard Hammond
Paperclip Clippy
Mudkipz A frog I found outside my window
Plankton Mickey Mouse
3AM 3:37 PM
Mathematical Consultant Albert Einstein
Jumping Consultant House Of Pain
Casting ...eww, don't go there
Director of Photography Anne Geddes
Catering Gordon Ramsay
Jamie Oliver
Ainslie Harriott
Nigella Lawson
...and so on.
Special Thanks Jovanotti
Producer Britney Spears

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