August 3, 2010

Is a horse a home?

(rated M for Mature content: contains boring explanations not suitable for kiddies. go away, under-18s)

Last time on the CJ Curry Experience: we trekked through the forests of the Nullarbor, and showed you all the potential hazards of misspelling words with the letters P and H in them (particularly the word "herpahs").

And coming up today: we look at the world's largest collection of pocket lint, chat with the inventor of the remote control and the potato chip, and discuss the merits of using one's bellybutton.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE 63: SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE

So. You know me. You know my signs. Here they are, fresh for your disjoyment. Please remember to read them in a variety of styles and fonts.
  • PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS SIGN (This was vandalised a few days later when my RA wrote "OK" underneath.)
  • MAKE ME A SANDWICH! (This was for anyone to make me a sandwich. I can't make good sandwiches.)
  • IF YOU CAN READ THIS SIGN, YOU ARE STANDING TOO CLOSE. (If you can read this writing, you are reading too close.)
  • YOU JUST LOST THE GAME (I'm not sorry. I'm really not.)
  • ∫ex = f(un) (An oldie, but a goodie.)
  • JUST DON'T DO IT. (Take that, Nike.)
  • I AM THE PERSONIFICATION OF YOUR DOOM. (Too true. Especially where I live.)
  • THAT'S TOO NAUGHTY (Whatever you're doing, stop. It's naughty.)
  • THIS IS THE EVIL LAIR OF OCEAN BIRD (Ocean bird? We associate seas with oceans, and one type of bird is a jay. Sea Jay. Full credit to my friend J for that one.)
  • THE TRIANGLES ARE SQUARES (graffitied over with "And you are a circle". Curse you.)
  • YOU JUST GOT SIEGE'D. (Pronounce my name, but leave out the "ay".)
  • don't tell the ghosts that I'm here (Again, graffitied with "I don't have to tell them. They already know you are here... Hehehe... >.<" with a drawing resembling a munchkin holding a tooth.)
  • If you knock on my door and I'm not in, or I don't answer, then what you wanted wasn't that important. (Poor. Very poor.)
  • YOU ARE NOW ENTERING THE ZONE OF CJ. WARNING: MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC CONTENT. (Much like this blog.)
  • You are here. (Can't argue with that... although some have tried.)
  • ROOM 12CF Version: 2.0. INHABITANT BITES. HAVE YOU HAD YOUR RABIES SHOT? (Careful.)
  • I WANT PIE (I always want pie. Someone put an "RRE" at the end. Stupid-head.)
  • I like you. Can we be friends? (Please yes please?)
  • IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME (Tell me you don't know where this comes from. I dare you.)
  • INSERT HUMOUROUS ONELINER HERE (Be creative!)
  • FEED ME (Because I always need more feeding.)
  • you fascinate me (And you always have.)
  • SIGN-MAKING THESE DAYS IS NOT ONLY OVERRATED, IT'S ALSO BLOODY DIFFICULT. ESPECIALLY COMING UP WITH FRESH IDEAS. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED WRITING SIGNS FOR THREE MONTHS, THEN STRUGGLED TO COME UP WITH AN IDEA? WELL, THAT'S HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. OUT OF FRESH THOUGHTS. STILL, I DERIVE SOME PLEASURE KNOWING THAT YOU'RE STILL READING THIS GARBAGE, EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING CONSTRUCTIVE IN ANY WAY. YOU JUST GOT DUPED BY C.J, AND, LET'S FACE IT, THAT'S JUST BAD. (I genuinely wrote all that.)
  • HI. (Short, to the point, and liked by many people.)
  • Inside here, you will find: -rainbows -earthworms -microscopic hummingbirds (From Black Moth Super Rainbow.)
  • DO NOT TOUCH THIS SIGN. (Nobody graffitied over this one.)
  • beans. (this was later added to: "I'll give them to you." then added to again: "let me show you them". Both of those were CJ-authorised.)
  • DO YOU HAVE A HALL PASS? (Very few people did...)
  • MINE IS THE DRILL THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS! (Look this one up yourself.)
  • you. yes, you. you are on 12C. deal. (That's where I live.)
  • THE BLACK LAGOON - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (People still entered. I never heard from them again...)
  • I'm on a horse. (Old Spice FTW.)
Buh-bye now.

Next time on the CJ Curry Experience: we prove to you that the entire blog is completely canon and all crazy. We also show you the value of retconning everything.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm surprised you don't have a DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS sign.

CJ Curry said...

Oo, that's a good idea. I'll use that one this semester. Thanks!

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