February 5, 2011

I emerge from my coffin of doom.

the 81st experience has begun...

CJ CURRY S05 E01: YOU'RE GONNA HATE ME FOR THIS...

So. Welcome back to the CJ Curry Experience for 2011. I'm CJ, I eat curry, and this is the Experience.

If you're just joining me this season, I encourage you to look through the archive of my inanity for all the rubbish I'm about to share with you, so I can avoid typing it again. But here goes anyway, for the ignorant ones.

Full name: CJ.
Address: people address me as CJ.
Postcode: the Enigma code.
Home Phone: ET.
Marital Status: not yet.
Occupation: student.
Race: 1500m. If you take issues of race seriously, then it's the mile.
Height: ten foot three.
Weight: twenty stone.
Unusual Quirks: likes using the Imperial measurement system to piss people off.
Smoker: only when I'm on fire.
Drinker: only from the well of lost dreams.
Time Spent Drinking: 18 years. (In base ten.)
Age: 20 years. (In base ten.)
Glasses Drunk Per Day: depends how big the glass is.
Physical Exercise: limited only to sex.
Years Spent Doing Physical Exercise: 19 years. (In base ten.)

Time Spent Blogging: unknown...

Outfit: bandanna, shorts/jeans, one or two slogan/sarcastic T-shirts, occasionally a hoodie. Oh, and also underwear. Wristwatch (soon). Lanyard with my keys on. Sometimes all white with armour and a plank of wood lovingly called a "cricket bat".

Video Games: probably over a hundred by now. Don't ask me to count them. I'll probably collapse.

Music: see post 77 (from Season 4).

Aim: bulls-eye.

I think that's about it. If you want to know anything else, then psychically transmit your question into my head, and wait 36 years for a reply. Cheers.

This year... I will be six foot three.

I now live in a flat. (A flat what?)
This year I already had a cold. (A cold what?)
I tell a lot of bad jokes. (Jokes what?)

THE ABC OF CJ CURRY:
  • aeroplane
  • bicycle
  • cheese
  • derriĆ©re
  • eggs
  • fuck you! friday
  • grand!
  • haha.
  • I'm
  • just
  • kidding.
  • Look!
  • My
  • noms
  • on
  • pie!
  • Quirky.
  • RARR.
  • Stupidity?
  • Tricked you!
  • Umbrella, I guess...
  • V for Vendetta
  • whisky and beer, never fear
  • XXX is for porno! And beer!
  • yes, I hate beer.
  • Zee end.
Adieu. For now. But not for later.

join the experience again soon...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

you try too hard

CJ Curry said...

You don't try.

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