May 30, 2010

Please sympathise with me.

Hi. I'm CJ. And sports are made merely for my amusement.


I feel like doing a shameless plug. So here it is.

So enjoy it while it lasts, because plugs are just those: plugs. Very soon they will be pulled, dragging the rest of the Internets with them. Especially the shameless ones.

I'd like to blog about more, because I have a lot more to say. Unfortunately, Curryland police are still tracking me down for making this ninja broadcast. Heh. They'll never find me here. I'm in known COBOL territory, and as long as the COBOL members don't figure out that I'm an object-oriented man I'll be right.

Wait, what? COBOL is object-oriented. What?

Oshit. They just worked out I'm Javanese. HELP.

public class Avoidance
public static void main(String[] args)

...aaaaaaand compile! *phew* I'm safe.

Now an even bigger problem arises. The COBOL gang saw me, saw where I went, and can tell the cops where I am. I'll hide among the C++ users for the moment. The cops won't be able to tell the difference.

#include <iostream>
using namespace std;
void main()
cout << "Your disguise is successful." << endl;
cjCurry.beginIdleChatter("Hey! How are you! Nice to see you. Praise Bjarne Stroustrup! How\'s the weather? Code any good wetness lately? Heh heh heh. Keep up the good work!");

Whew. I think I'm safe here. The only thing that could possibly stop me is an exception somewhere, or a compiler error. Now. As you can tell, it's becoming increasingly harder for me to blog, based purely on the fact that Curryland is swarming with police who are experts at pretty much everything. It's a miracle that I outlasted them for two days, let alone nearly four months. My handy C++ textbook - um, I mean, PHRASE book - has helped me disguise myself. But I only know how to speak Java and C++, I don't know any other languages.

I'm also running out of bribes. There are only so many cookies I can bake for the cops on a limited budget, and I'm having trouble finding donuts that aren't curry-flavoured here in Curryland. That's to be expected. ...'Scuse me, there's a cookie vendor over there.

#include <iostream>
using namespace std;
void main()
cjCurry.receiveResponse("You\'re not a real C++ member, are you?");
cjCurry.actInnocent("Why, what on earth do you mean?");
cjCurry.receiveResponse("It\'s heaps better to use int main() than void main().");
cjCurry.lookPuzzled("I\'m just trying to be different.");
cjCurry.receiveResponse("We\'ll see about that. HEY! THERE\'S A GUY HERE WHO LOOKS NONPLUSSED!");

SHIT. I'm in huge trouble now. May as well give up, actually, now that I think about it.

Well folks, it's been a good year and three months, and a really good 59 episodes, but finally my crimes have caught up with me and the cops are closing in pretty hard (that didn't sound sexual at all). I'll be back, but I don't know when or in what form and I'd better hurry up and finish because the cops are about to arrest me and take my compu



Chris Hawkins said...

Sounds to me like you need to learn C#. It's a nice place.

Anonymous said...

C# is boring. All those modern language features on top of a Java clone... for what? Boring old windows desktop apps? Bleh, nice, and boring. May as well stick to Java, which at least has the Android SDK, and Guava.
Come to python land:
      We have (and enforce) indentation (that Blogger hates. Suck Unicode ass, Blogger)
Go learn you a Haskell for great good!
[[ObjectiveC mix: @"the old" with: @"a little awesome"] andWhatDoYouGet: @"square bracket overdose, (and nifty iPhone apps)" ];
do look at Ruby and let their |blocks| seduce you

CJ Curry said...

Ooh, I should have gone to Ruby land. I could have hidden behind their blocks.

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