The bananas are back!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE 1337 (mod 1227)

"CJ IS BEGINNING TO ANNOY YOU..."

la la la la

I have relax. Take that, Frankie.

So, what to discuss today? I suppose I better discuss KABOOM

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Curryland Media, Inc. apologises for the inconvenient bomb placed right under CJ Curry, and its subsequent inconvenient explosion. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

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*emerges*

*shakes head*

Whew. That was an interesting experience. Thank goodness kittens didn't die. But it also... changed me slightly. In fact, I think I've changed into a nice blogger. I think I'm going to blog about nice things now. Like kittens, and ponies, and rainbows, and puppies, and pink fluffy unicorns. Yay! Everything is nice! Everything is fun! Everything is KABOOM

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Curryland Media, Inc. apologises for placing a bomb underneath CJ Curry, in order to bring him back to normal. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.

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*emerge*

Well, fuck. I'm dead. And this is hell. Well, I hope hell is ready for me.

Anyway. I was supposed to talk to you lot today about analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean parameterization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold... or something like that. But I don't know anything about it. What am I doing to do? I know. I'll be all CJ and make bad jokes and play tag and fly kites and

KABOOM

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Hell has exploded. We apologise for the inconvenience, but CJ Curry was just too much for us. We shall rebuild hell and Curryland and return you to your regularly scheduled blog within a week.

Everyone join in for the chorus!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE Mt

"AND SHAZAM, WE HAVE ANOTHER EPISODE."

I have finally found song lyrics that describe me almost perfectly. Almost. The problem is, they're from a bunch of different songs. But hey, I'm going to write them anyway, and I'm not going to mention anything about kittens or dying. Hooray! I'm writing lyrics verbatim but you all know what I mean. I hope.

• I'm vulnerable. I am not a robot.
• The phoenix, alive.
• Mistaken for magic.
• Walking through the night trying to find his way home again, lost and forgotten. Upon the treetops, he sits and watches all of the people as they ponder. He's thinking out loud, speaking to a ghost about the way which he wonders; acceptance to the fact that there's no turning back. I know where I stand: I am a man amongst the people. Like a jigsaw, the final pieces have come together.
• We can't fly.
• Chasing broken dreams.
• I like a journey way into the night.
• Every face I see is cold as ice, everything I touch is pain, ever since you lost imagination. Sometimes the sound of goodbye is louder than any drum beat.
• I saw a million people staring at the sky, I heard a million voices sing into the night. I saw a million hands there, high into the air. If you remember anything about paradise, they say you were never there.
• You could be all that you want to, but you can't make someone want you.
• I can't slow down.
• Time for the sun to shine.
• I don't want to think anymore about anything that I can't see.
• Got no time for memories.
• Why do I carry such a weight on my shoulders?
• On a warm night in March, on a dark disco floor, I danced up a storm like I'd never before. Every step in the book, and then some that weren't listed; for a song or two I thought nothing else existed.
• It's late and I'm awake.
• Poor Leno.
• Alone in the dark.
• The map has started tearing along its creases due to overuse.
• I can look at my shadow as much as I please. You will never come close to how I feel.
• ...it's over.

Oh yeah, and THE CAKE IS A LIE.

Next, I feel that I need to show you a little sneak peek at what I'm studying. So here:

(I stole that from Wikipedia by the way)

And finally, here is a short burst of someone being ripped to shreds.

GAH

Thank you. Good night.

"Go jump in the lake" has a literal meaning here...

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE f'(0)|f(x)=-108sin(x)

"GET BALLOON. FILL BALLOON. THROW BALLOON. RINSE AND REPEAT."

Alrighty. Personal shit this time around, because you love personal shit and gossip and you don't like hearing about Curryland or kittens not dying or aeroplanes or any of that other crap I spout on about (I used to say shit about bicycles!) so I'm gonna play some tapes from my life in the last few weeks.

First and foremost, the unthinkable happened. That doesn't necessarily mean that all is lost. But it does mean some pretty radical changes for me and a few people involved, especially mentally. So I may be posting in a different style for a while. Yes, that's right, it's affected me that much. That's right, bitches, I wore something *other* than black the other day.

Second, I now have a fully-functioning Java program. Needs a little more work for shit like "oh yeah, this chump got hurt so we need to fix up his numbers". But otherwise it works, it's in beta, but it's not on the Internets yet. I need to consult an expert first. HEY MISTER HAWKING! ...wait, wrong kind of expert.

Third, I like Jona Vark.

Fourth, it's a mistake to write when I'm addicted to a song.

Fifth, I got the job again for next year. In case you missed it. So I'll be busy a lot of next week. So I may not post. You may not care. I'm still writing twenty every season. And every season is still going to be six months. And I'm going to keep this up for my whole uni career. And I'm still doing my 365 project. And I'm also going to find some other way of logging next year and its activities. I had a diary in '07 and a 365 project in '11. Maybe videos? Or something else? That'll make three 365 projects. Ah! I has an idea!! The idea is this: "Seven Days In Seven Minutes". Talk about my week in front of a camera, 52.14 times. With guest(s) if need be.

Sixth, I'm tired and I have class soon.

Seventh, and last, your aeroplane is getting away. Go catch it.

Whose butt do I have to kiss NOW?!

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE ONE HUNDRED AND THIS

"BE ANNOYED!"

Right. Time to begin. I think. *checks watch* No, we're still waiting on a couple of slackarses. We need to get this show on the road, otherwise kittens will die. And we like kittens here and we don't want them to die. If they're not here in the next three sentences, we'll have to start without them.

I like pie. (one)

I've been pretty heavily snowed-under, so it should come as no surprise that I've been posting less. (two)

Green. (three)

Damn those lazy bastards. Well, time to get going.

I have discovered recently that Australia is the land of logical fallacies, Catch-22s and paradoxes. See, not only do we have the platypus, laws against hot pink pants, and Centrelink; they also have me as a guest every so often. I mean, hell, look at me. Would *you* want me? Good thing Australia isn't Curryland. Or rather, Curryland isn't Australia. Or... whatever the hell.

feep.

Assignment season is upon us once again, and by the looks, it's going to be a magnificent harvest. Not for me, mind, but for the chumps who are assessing us. I hope they get as much stress out of marking our assignments as we get for writing them. Soon it'll be study season, then exam season. Heh. The four seasons of a semester: orientation, assignment, study, exam. Each one lasting different amounts of time. Orientation: four to five. Assignment: five. Study: six. Exam: three. Then holidays. Then back into it. Bloody university.

With further ado, I present the end of this post. And the further ado is this:

{([<what.>])}

Catchy, isn't it? And now, we have a small dot:

.

Thank you. And now we have an aeroplane cutting me off mid-

Thank you, aeroplane. Now, I present you with an amusing fact to finish us off:

"There are two types of people in this world - those who can extrapolate information from incomplete data, "

Play with me. Learn with me. Sing.

THE CJ CURRY EXPERIENCE: EPISODE CVI

"DESTROY HIP HOP! DESTROY ROCK AND ROLL! DESTROY DEATH METAL! DESTROY ELECTRONICA! DESTROY COUNTRY-WESTERN! DESTROY POP!"

I just realised something. Though you know what's happening in the world (thanks largely to my awesomeness and your stupidity - because seriously, how stupid can you get, deciding to read this junk?) I haven't told you much about Curryland lately.

Curryland is... boring.

But then again, not many of you know what Curryland is like. It's a mythical land and not many of you have been there. I feel I owe it to you to explain what Curryland is like, so you can make your own decisions about whether to visit or not. So here is my description of Curryland.

Curryland is... boring.

Okay, serious now. Imagine Curryland as like the land in Borderlands. Although I've been waiting weeks to use that comparison, it's not entirely true. There is desert. But there's also massive grassland, ice lands, a huge volcano rising above craggy rocky mountains, a city in the clouds, beautiful beaches and ocean, and a rainforest. Although I've been waiting years to use that description from a whole bunch of different Super Mario Bros games, it's also not entirely true. But there is really a desert. And a city. I live in the heart of the city, in a suburb known as Currytopia.

Curry City is a beautiful city. It's about double the size of Sydney (or about 9k square miles) and triple the population of Melbourne population (for all you non-Melburnians out there, try roughly twelve million people). It's got a beach twice the size of Brisbane's biggest, and it's as far away from any other city as is Perth. It has as many churches as Adelaide, as much warm weather as Darwin, as many market days as Hobart, and we don't have a parliament house so we're not like Canberra. So there. That's Curry City.

Curryland is under the rule of the Grand High Super Top Head Vice Ultra Mega Happy Democrator Aloysius J. Snottenheimer, Ph. D., supreme dictator of the Democratic Republican Empire of Curry (or Curryland for short). We're allowed to address him as "Hey You". Though he is a dictator, he's also a benevolent emperor and a kind and caring CEO.

We're a happy bunch here. The murder rate is 0%. The crime rate is 0.01% (purely from petty shoplifters and one person who drove under the influence of alcohol - though nothing serious happened to her). Hey You doesn't have any opposition; he doesn't need it, except one time when he decided that he wanted the fish for dinner one night but he was told that the restaurant was all out of fish. (After a short exchange, he decided on a parmigiana instead.) We also have absolutely no problems with anything else.

We are not a metaphor, we're just a myth. But still, we love the utopia. We don't want out. Because if we get out, kittens will die. We like kittens.

Anyway. Enough of that morbidity. I'll get back to work.